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Having a relationship with new baby's daddy...

(4 Posts)
Hithere123 Tue 04-Feb-14 22:07:23

Hi...not sure if this is the right place for this but thought I'd give it a go. I have posted before here re H leaving me pregnant and living with another woman. Just after some advice on what I should be asking for support wise from him in these last few weeks (10 I'm being induced) and when baby has come along. We have 2 other children 6 & 2. His new woman is controlling from what I have seen and daren't leave him out of her sight alone with me. She even turned up at a&e having rushed one of them in and I'd never met her. H said she asked to come but that's another story. I met with him last week to chat about names but he asked me not to tell her as it causes problems for him with her. He's coming over this week to talk about what we are going to do when he comes. I'm thinking he should spend first 2days and nights in my guest bedroom for bonding time and to help me settle 2yo into the fact he has new sibling. He is a very clingy child and I'm worried about how he may react. Then he should be coming round at least 3 times a week to see baby until I'm comfortable letting him go. I would ideally like him to come for at least 1 bedtime a week so he can help me. I'm really scared about being on my own although I have done most of my other 2 on my own with little support from him I am struggling with depression and worried about bonding with this child. Do you think I'm being unreasonable in saying if he cannot commit to these things he shouldn't be involved with the baby. I wouldn't see anything being a problem if we were just split up only that she will try to put a stop on it. Also do you think I should ask anything else

expatinscotland Tue 04-Feb-14 22:11:34

YANBU. Sound like you are better off without him.

mammadiggingdeep Tue 04-Feb-14 22:44:08

Do you really want him there that much? Is there a chance he will bring added stress?? Do you have other people to help/support you?

FolkGirl Tue 04-Feb-14 22:49:45

I wouldn't set anything in stone until the baby is here and you know how you really feel.

I understand that at the moment, you want to feel like you're doing the 'right thing' and that is informing your decisions, but what feels like the right thing now, and what will be the right thing when the baby is born, won't necessarily be the same thing.

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