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Am I picking on DH?

(4 Posts)
cheekymonk Tue 04-Feb-14 20:19:52

Hi all. I work every day school hours and DH works full-time and sometimes away in UK. We have 3 and 9 year olds. Today I was finishing late due to training which has been booked for ages. DH had written letter to school about ds's behaviour so it was arranged he would go to a meeting with ds's school at 3.30 pick DS up after his library club then pick up DD. He was working in Cardiff last night we are in Portsmouth so he would be back in time as he starts early. Anyway he wasn't back due to traffic but didn't let me know que phone call at 4.15 from school saying DS is waiting to be picked up. I reply its ok DH is at school with teacher no he didn't turn up for that either is the reply!!! DH says he did let school know and it was crossed wires. I come home he takes no responsibility blames school. I say why didn't you let me know you were running late I would have left training and gone to meeting at school and picked up kids!!! He says he was trying to give me space (I do ask for this as often when I am at asdas etc he will text me letting me know ds is playing up wondering when I coming home etc? ) He is trying to get it right but does seem to constantly get it wrong. I feel whenever I go anywhere he is nagging me to come home and makes me feel uilty for being out. I cam home last Fri to both kids in rain waiting as ds had a club at 6pm. I had text at 5.20 to say I was at till in asda meaning I would be back in time so need to drag 3 year old in rain!!!! I just feel he does not cope with kids well and that is placing enormous strain on me. I rarely go anywhere on my own for fun weight watchers and asda are the main places I go on my own!!!! I feel suffocated and like I am carrying a lame duck if I am honest sad Any thoughts??

Fairenuff Tue 04-Feb-14 20:57:10

I reckon he thinks that if he keeps on being this inept you will stop asking him to do any of the childcare. How about letting him down for once so that he can see what it feels like?

cheekymonk Tue 04-Feb-14 21:54:59

I have thought the same Fairenuff!!! Have just talked and agreed that kids are solely my responsibility Mon-Thurs and I will use extra childcare if need be. I feel he moans/resents having to finish work early to cover my training/dentists/appts etc so this way I know kids are in safe hands and can rely on childminder/nursery. I have said that obviously tho this may make childcare bill go up but what alternative is there??? 2 days training tho (I rarely have training days) and God do I know about it but he is working away in Scotland next week for 4 days and I just have to suck it up!!! Trying to expect us to be a bit more equal isn't working. I know he does 37 and I do 30 hours but I do all shopping cooking 90% of stuff to do with kids.... Am worried about all this...

Fairenuff Tue 04-Feb-14 22:00:33

If it's more sensible for you to organise childcare during the week, that's fair enough. But why do you do most of the housework and childcare?

You are right to be worried about this.

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