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Never seeing someone again?

(24 Posts)
str8tothepoint Mon 03-Feb-14 18:18:37

How do you get over with never seeing someone ever again?

Trills Mon 03-Feb-14 18:19:53

Well, you just get on with things. Breathe. Eat, Sleep. Get up. Wash, dress, go to work, etc. And then eventually it happens that you don't mind so much any more.

KurriKurri Mon 03-Feb-14 18:25:44

I don't know if you ever do get over it if it is someone you love, it is like any kind of grieving process, very painful and hard to cope with at first, then you become more 'used' to it (for want of a better expression) and you can cope a little better.

But it takes time, you will feel sad, angry and hurt, and just when you think you are getting a bit better you'll get knocked back again. But it does get less painful, and you can be happy again.

babyready Mon 03-Feb-14 18:32:16

Distract yourself as much as humanly possible!! Start a new hobby, catch up with old friends, work your way through box-sets, try new recipes, start jogging/playing sports/dance classes - anything!

Of course, it'll catch up with you now and then, but better to be active and not stewing on it. Also, being physically active and socialising are proven to help psychological well-being overall, so might help you to be strong.

Sending hugs and good luck!

Santaclaws Mon 03-Feb-14 18:33:19

That's what I would like to know also. After seeing someone for 4 years how DO you get over never seeing them again. Oh I know everybody does at some point but I do find it hard to realise I won't ever see them again

PaxmansGusset Mon 03-Feb-14 18:48:51

I'd second what Trills said. It might also be worth considering counselling to help talk through things.


louby44 Mon 03-Feb-14 19:05:05

Oh its so bloody hard isn't it. I'm 2 months into being on my own. I've lost a lot of weight, not sleeping, very,very sad. I ended it and sometimes wonder what I've done. But it couldn't go on.

I miss him. I wonder where and how he is. I feel so sad that he will be walking around on this earth and I will never see him (or his DD) again.

My friends have been truly amazing. Loads of support. I'm trying to keep active, been going to a fabulous Zumba class - it's fantastic. I'm trying to keep up with my running too.

I may even do some decorating if I can summon up the energy.

I probably should get some counselling but too be honest I can't afford to.

Friday is the day I will start to move on, he's moving out!

Diagonally Mon 03-Feb-14 19:07:37

As soon as you remember that getting over someone is actually a choice you make, you can start the process.

Thinking back I suppose I've "got over" never seeing 5 particularly "special at the time" people again. One is dead now, bit sad, but was never meant to be. One is half way across the world and I remember our time together fondly but don't have more feelings than that. The other three are gold plated twats who I couldn't care less about, except to occasionally wonder about all the other poor women who may have stumbled across them and hope that they faired better than I did.

I'm sure you know that no contact whatsoever hastens the process, and throwing yourself into something healthy but distracting is a good idea.

buttonortwo Mon 03-Feb-14 19:38:17

It's hard, I think about him all of the time, I love him, but we are not compatible. I had to let him go, I really hope one day I'll see him, despite him becoming abusive and wrecking my self esteem? It's so confusing ... I keep busy..

Anniegetyourgun Mon 03-Feb-14 19:41:37

You will find it a lot easier to get over him by never seeing him again than by the old on-off he-loves-me he-loves-me-not dance, str8 . Cold turkey is painful but it will get easier over time, whereas if you keep dipping in you will never get the addiction out of your system. It was an addiction really, wasn't it? If only you could believe that you are too good to waste yourself on it.

PaxmansGusset Mon 03-Feb-14 19:58:21

Agreed Annie.

We've spoken before OP (I'm a namechanger) and remember your story. You absolutely deserve better. Hang in there x

ImperialBlether Mon 03-Feb-14 20:00:48

And believe me, save every email to draft rather than sending it. You will be really glad you did.

str8tothepoint Mon 03-Feb-14 21:01:54

Yea he turned to be a monster so told his OH everything now wish I gave him the chance to explain so I could have said goodbye. Now all I get is emails, calls, messages from her asking if he's still sneaking with me.

It does hurt a lot not ever seeing or talking to that person again. I've survived 10 years next month without my mother yet find this the hardest thing to grasp

Lweji Mon 03-Feb-14 21:08:49

Easily. smile

Just think one day at a time.

That poor woman needs a Relationships treatment. Imagine sending e-mails asking if a cheating twunt is still sneaking around. (you might then want to delete your threads, of course.

redundantandbitter Mon 03-Feb-14 21:13:33

Hard. Really hard. Never been addicted to anything (don't drink don't smoke ... Ok , maybe chocolate). But this must be what withdrawal is like. Cold turkey .

Counselling. Work. Anti depressants. Talking to friends and helping them with their shit.

DON'T look at FB, twitter , her emails . Flick that switch off and leave the room.

I almost responded to a RIDICULOUS tweet of his today. You see, I shouldn't have had a sneaky peak. That will teach me .

I remember your previous threads. Leave him to sort out his shit - him and his wife have a lot to talk about. I feel sorry for you as I know the pain but I really feel for the wife in this situation.

jojoanna Tue 04-Feb-14 07:19:49

Distract yourself as much as possible. Work late go to cinema see friends etc . Don't spend too much time alone that's when you start to think about him.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 04-Feb-14 13:48:18

"Yea he turned to be a monster so told his OH everything now wish I gave him the chance to explain..."

You stop dragging this out is what you do. Months and months you've been going on about this man. Months!!!! Every time people say 'cut contact' and every time you keep wanting to go back for more punishment. You can deal with this but you choose not to.

BuzzardBird Tue 04-Feb-14 13:54:40

Oh please, for the love of all things chocolately, not this, again. <not helpful, sorry>

Just stop love, use your brain, not the rest of your body. If he wanted to be with you he would leave his partner and his poor little children!

LilyBlossom14 Tue 04-Feb-14 14:56:58

I really hope you aren't talking to him again. You need to block his number, or change yours and change your email address too. Start a million threads and you are going to get the same advice each time - I don't know why you choose to ignore that advice all the time.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Tue 04-Feb-14 15:37:24

What Trills said... although it's so much harder than just reading it in black and white. One foot in front of the other and keep going... just as hard.

Ignore any more contact from either this man or his wife, you owe them nothing.

str8tothepoint Tue 04-Feb-14 17:25:41

Cogito I've walked away have not tried to contact him for nearly 6 weeks now. He never give a shit about me and but just hurts never seeing him again. Do appreciate everyone's advice and should have listened long ago.

He is what he is and I allowed him to manipulate me. Even though I hate him for what he done I will forever miss him.

Thanks everyone x

str8tothepoint Tue 04-Feb-14 17:32:07

I have had to change my number finally after missed calls from his works phone last week and all emails shut down. But no more drama he's gay.

I can only tell her what she's scared to realise but my family and friends have warned me to stay away. And I have, he hasn't but that's his sad life now.

You'll be glad to hear I won't post again x

PaxmansGusset Tue 04-Feb-14 20:12:42

str8 you don't have to stop posting, you're welcome here for support.

flowers Good luck with moving forward with your life.

Santaclaws Tue 04-Feb-14 20:16:43

Keep posting if you feel the need. Sometimes it takes months of posting and people repeating things then you feel your moving on a bit, then you might slip back and need help again. There's always someone here

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