Does he like me?

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

Last week a bunch of us went out after work. We work as engineers and subcontract some of the work to other firms. Some of them came out with us. One of the sub firms always sends the same 2 guys, and they've been working with us for a few years. One of the guys (G1) I'd never spoken to, the other (G2) is very outgoing so always have a bit of a chat and giggle with him.

Anyway, in the pub I was with my friends, and noticed that whenever I looked over in G1's direction he was looking at me. Still didn't really speak much to him as I didn't know him at all. I was chatting to his mate a lot, and we all played pool together.

As people started going their separate ways, G2 announced he was going into town and asked if I wanted to join him and G1. I was having a good night and wasn't ready for going home so agreed.

Once we were out we had a few drinks together, then G2 disappeared to another part of the bar (on the pull!!) and I sat chatting to G1 for quite a while. I don't really remember how it came about, but he was telling me I was stunning, quite a catch etc and, surprised, I rubbished it. He was then really surprised that I didn't see it (drink talking and all that?!!)

Anyway, we carried on talking and our heads were very close together (loud music etc), so he said something and I tilted my ear towards his mouth to hear properly, and as I turned back our noses brushed each others. Next thing, he kissed me. The kiss went on quite a long time and built in passion. We then got more drinks, had a little look for G2 and then went back to sitting chatting and kissed again. It was an amazing kiss, real knee trembler, and given that he says he's shy with women, really knew how to push my buttons! (Btw, I believe him when he says he's shy around women as he was blushing when I first spoke to him that night).

Once back at work, he got my number from a guy I work with, and since then we've text each other a few times a day. We talked about our night out and he said it seemed the right thing to do at the time, but was naughty and he shouldn't have done it. Obviously its a bit of a bad move given we work together.

So I have no idea whether he likes me or if it was just a case of being drunk and convenient. And I know it probably doesn't matter because we work together and it wouldn't go any further, but I just want to satisfy my own curiosity! I could ask him outright, but I think he'd be too embarrassed.

[macystacy]

I'd say he does! Just see how it goes, let him do the running though!

[familyscapegoat]

Yes he likes you but he's probably in a relationship already and/or doesn't think it's a good idea to get involved with a work colleague.

[iamonthepursuitofhappiness]

Of course he likes you!

He probably said it was naughty and he shouldnt have done it because of the work thing, i'd have replied 'naughty but nice, call me' and given him a wink but thats just me!

[ImperialBlether]

Uh oh. Why shouldn't he have done it? Surely people can go out with colleagues?

Why not ask G2 if G1 is seeing someone?

[familyscapegoat]

If the OP had never spoken to G1 or knew anything about him, it's much more likely that he's committed elsewhere. That is, unless there's some contractual issue about relationships in the workforce which sometimes apply to contractors as well as in-house staff.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

Definitely the work thing could be a bit of a turn off. He's quite a shy person and from what I see tends to bounce off G2 a bit so yes he'd probably know really. I don't tend to like colleagues knowing my business so have always avoided seeing anyone from work!

I guess if it were just one little kiss I'd think it was just the drink. Not sure about some of the things he was saying though, and he's too shy really to just ask him.

[familyscapegoat]

Why are you avoiding the most obvious reason he thinks this was 'naughty'?

[AuntieStella]

Does he like you? Yes.

Does he want to pursue a relationship with you? No.

Of course it's nicer if you know why people act as they do. But I'm not sure that it's likely that you will find out and you're more likely to make a (semi-public) fool of yourself if you keep trying.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

Oh I haven't tried to find anything out!!! Our texts have been normal matesy stuff, some banter and piss taking etc - he's a nice, friendly guy. I can only reiterate the fact that I'm not interested in repeating what happened or take things further myself.

Of course I realise what 'naughty' may mean. He hasn't mentioned his family. But I also haven't asked either.

I often get some attention on nights out etc but I've always put it down to having rather large boobs, so I just found myself wondering if its possible that people find me attractive for other reasons is all.

[MadeMan]

Sounds like one of those "had a bit to drink" moments. Everyone gets off with people when they've had a few drinks in a club/pub, doesn't always mean they want anything more though.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

Ultimately, I've made a friend. I've opened up to him about my personal situation a little while back and he's done the same. So he's married with children, doesn't get out much and goes a little crazy from time to time when he does - escape from a very hard situation at home. Kinda feel bad, but neither of us want anything to repeat or anything and both of us have been happy chatting and getting to know each other. We can each empathise with the difficulties we have to deal with etc too.

[familyscapegoat]

Yeah, right. Why waste everyone's time with this when what you were describing was a budding affair with a married man?

You are not friends. You're a car crash waiting to happen.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

How is it a budding affair?? We were drinking, both a bit stressed out at the time. Mistakes are made sometimes, but neither of us want anything more to happen. Doesn't mean we can't be friends!!

[JenBehavingBadly]

Yes it does mean you can't be friends. The boundary was crossed when he kissed you.

Be professional at work, but stop texting him. Seriously, stop it now before it has the opportunity to get messy.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

How can it get messy when neither of us want anything to happen??? Surely one of us would have to actually desire the other for it to mean we can't be mates?

I've had experiences with a few of my friends over the years, we're still friends!

[JenBehavingBadly]

Oh heck. You've already had the "hard time at home" spiel. Trouble with his wife? Things not as good as they could be?

Look, no one can stop you from doing anything, but remember this. You've been told what a bad idea it is to get friendly with this man and how a line was crossed right at the very beginning. Now you've had that warning, you're the willing co-author of whatever crap happens next.

[ShatzePage]

If you want to be the ow go right ahead but don't seek approval on here.

[familyscapegoat]

You never were friends before he made a move on you, got your number and started telling you what a hard life he has (out on the pull with his mate when his wife's stuck at home with the kids, no doubt. My heart bleeds for him). You said you didn't even know him before all that happened.

So no, you can't be friends now.

It sounds like he makes a habit of this and you don't sound too fussy either about kissing married men and providing a listening ear for all their probably non-existent complaints.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

If he has any trouble with his wife he certainly hasn't mentioned anything to me. He hasn't said he has a hard time at home. We both deal with things at home that are very similar, and are trying at times but don't complain or say its hard. That doesn't mean that you don't want to switch off from it occasionally though.

[ImperialBlether]

Was this a married man, then?

For crying out loud, what was the point of the thread then?

[Bitofkipper]

A knee trembler kiss means a line has been crossed.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

Seriously, the kissing was wrong. But none of the conclusions you've jumped to are in any way accurate.

No they weren't out on the pull!! We were at a retirement do of a guy from work. It was always intended to stay til the pub closed and then all go our own ways, but G2 decided on the spur of the moment to go into town.

No we weren't friends before, and I wouldn't say he "made a move on me". It just happened. We were just chatting and it happened. Granted there was a bit of a spark and some flirting, but nothing calculated.

We've spoken a bit today about our own situations and are both of the opinion that we actually have a giggle and get on really well so draw a line under what happened and just concentrate on whats happened since then.

[JenBehavingBadly]

If you don't want anything it happen with this married man, then why the hell are you asking "does he like me"?

Why on earth would you want to be friends with someone who snogs other women his wife's back? He's a jerk.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

To be fair I didn't know he was married until someone said something on this thread that made me ask him.

And yes it was knee trembling, but we both know it was wrong, a mistake and we don't want anything like that to happen again - too much to drink, circumstances at that particular time etc.

[TequilaItMakesMeHappy]

I didn't know he was married when I was wondering that!!!

Sometimes people do things that they aren't proud of, but there are sometimes circumstances leading to what they do that make it a little understandable.