I went NC with my parents last September (the BEST decision of my life!).
Every so often my mum sends me a text or even a letter. It might sometimes be something really innocuous (like nothing has happened...) such as a text to say she's come back from holiday. In a letter she sent me she had stated that I had demons and that I should just remember all the good stuff I have in my life i.e. that this NC thing was all my fault, because I'm clearly nuts and have "demons" and not feelings which are helping to protect me... I can't say anything to her which might be taken as "criticism" against her or something which would mean that perhaps she might have to CHANGE the way she interacts with me. She keeps saying that I used to be "nice" and that I'm not anymore and that she wants her old daughter back. (Her "old" daughter was someone who was extremely depressed, borderline alcoholic, change smoking, socially anxious, extremely withdrawn, very underachieving and very very unhappy - her new daughter is none of these things (Ok I still have a long way to go until I am completely happy with the way I am but I am a million times happier and better than what I was back then, and now I actually like myself a lot more...). To me that is not love if she would prefer me to be the old me rather than the new, happier, healthier me.
Talking to her is so frustrating, which is why I gave up and decided to walk away by going NC. She would deny everything - things that had happened, things said, even telling me I don't feel my own feelings! I just can't have a relationship like that anymore, one that is completely devoid of honesty, truth and trust. She refuses to acknowledge any of my feelings. She keeps contacting me thinking that we can just go back to how it always was and I can't do that right now. Her contacting me, even with these innocuous texts always make me feel so angry. She just doesn't listen. Today I got a text from her and I wanted to call her up and tell her that she never listens to me and will she please leave me alone, but I know this would be pointless as I know she won't listen to me telling her she doesn't listen. I'm trying to detach and distance myself.
Do you think she will get the picture eventually? Or will I have to move and change my number at some point...
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Toxic mother not leaving me alone
theeverydaydancer · 29/01/2014 15:02
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.