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Confronting the Other Woman?

(498 Posts)
PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:11:58

I've posted this within my other thread 'Partner help please?' but it's sort of a different issue...

We ended up bumping into this woman last night. Myself and my partner were walking through a crowd holding hands when I saw her and stopped, with my partner trying to pull me away. I couldn't resist saying something when I saw her. She was talking to a small group of people all sitting down and I stood in front of her and told her she needs to get a life and get a grip and to stay away from him

She said nothing initially, just sat there looking really confused. Then we went to walk off with me still shouting at her, and she got up at tapped partner on the shoulder and said to him that they were going to have a conversation about this and she'd not done anything. He shouted at her to fuck off and fuck off and leave him alone at work too. I was shoving her in the arm telling her to get a life and to stay away from us, and she kept with the confused face saying she had done nothing and then went and sat back down

I don't know what I've done or what to make of it

TurnipCake Sun 26-Jan-14 14:41:37

I don't think you've done yourself any favours, OP. What is your husband doing among all this?

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:41:46

Tonandfeather - If she does call them, what could they do without proof? Her and my partner work together so wouldn't that do her a diservice?

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:44:01

She sent him a text after he TOLD her to leave him alone saying she didn't know what the fuck just happened but it left her in tears and ruined her night and she didn't deserve that. I was furious after she was told by him to leave us alone

MiniTheMinx Sun 26-Jan-14 14:45:00

I doubt she will call the police, she is though more likely to want a chat with your partner on Monday morning to discuss "the mad woman" as others have said, you haven't really helped yourself.

Tonandfeather Sun 26-Jan-14 14:45:17

They do have proof. It was a crowded place. After you left she might have asked for witnesses. The people she was with are witnesses too.

How would it be a problem for HER at work if a colleague's partner assaulted her?

A problem for your partner at work? Yes, possibly.

She's the victim here. Not you and certainly not your unfaithful partner.

TurnipCake Sun 26-Jan-14 14:45:50

To be honest if someone had just shouted and shoved/poked at me in a public place, the least I would expect is some right of reply, irrespective if the other party had told me to leave them alone.

MiniTheMinx Sun 26-Jan-14 14:46:37

Maybe she is genuinely shocked because she has no interest in him, or she thinks a flirt is fine and harmless...however perhaps he is the one that has developed feelings. Perhaps, shock horror she could do without him crushing on her and you attacking her.

MadBusLady Sun 26-Jan-14 14:46:57

Well, you were in a club and it sounds like there were witnesses.

No, the police would not be in the slightest bit interested in a possible/probable affair as a motivation for assault. If called, their concern would be, did a crime take place, and are there witnesses?

Longtalljosie Sun 26-Jan-14 14:47:17

Hang on - so you don't even know anything has happened between them - just that your partner has the hots for her?

Assuming nothing has actually happened, and her greatest crime is to look attractive in a working environment, you may have come across as being utterly deranged.

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:48:02

They had an issue 7 months ago when they found out I was pregnant. She went to the managers and told them and he got into trouble, but that didn't look good for her either so calling the police on me after just poking her...??

Surely if it was just her friend that saw its their word against mine and nothing could be done?

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 26-Jan-14 14:48:59

Don't want to worry you further but CCTV?

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:50:13

MinitheMinx - My partner will not be speaking to her ever again, so she can want a chat as much as she wants. Also she definitely wants him, they were all over each other I was told, and she looked hurt last night as well as confused

AnyaKnowIt Sun 26-Jan-14 14:50:38

Wouldn't they have cctv?

Tonandfeather Sun 26-Jan-14 14:51:22

You mean she alleged sexual harassment in the workplace?

MadBusLady Sun 26-Jan-14 14:51:57

You're not listening to us, it doesn't matter what she's done at work, it doesn't matter what evil spell she has or hasn't woven around your "D"P (who sounds like a twat, by the way) - if your own account of events is true you assaulted her. No you can't go round shoving people in the arm, whatever you think they've done. We have no idea whether she's going to call the police or not, but she certainly could.

MiniTheMinx Sun 26-Jan-14 14:53:01

What did she tell the manager? Why? and why did your partner get into trouble?

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:53:23

TurnipCake and MadBusLady - He'd told her to leave him alone, he shouted at her to fuck off and leave him alone now and at work though? And then she texts him, whats that about? I said to her then that she needs to get a grip and leave him alone, and then she texts him again

Others (sorry, trying to reply to you all) - she's text him a few times, like she text him asking about the face value of the tickets for last night a few weeks ago...she can't leave him alone

GarlicReturns Sun 26-Jan-14 14:55:01

They had an issue 7 months ago when they found out I was pregnant. She went to the managers and told them and he got into trouble

Hang on, does this mean he was harassing her at work?

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:55:29

He lied to her to stop them working on a project together anymore after I'd seen them together (I only know he lied to her from gossip the mutual friend in other thread heard)

She found out he'd lied to her and went to the managers. They then didn't speak for 8 weeks. He got in trouble because he did lie to her

GarlicReturns Sun 26-Jan-14 14:55:39

xpost, Ton. Don't know the back story here, but I know what it looks like ...

MiniTheMinx Sun 26-Jan-14 14:56:39

So you knew there was a possibility that she would be there last night?

DingDongRabbitFromAHat Sun 26-Jan-14 14:56:44

This is all based on gossip, your husband sounds a right weirdo, and you sound a bit deranged. Bizarre!

PhoenixRising1979 Sun 26-Jan-14 14:57:23

I know there was an argument after she told him that she wanted nothing to do with him again and he approached her twice, once in front of the reception area and the mutual heard him shouting at her for not talking to him and her saying she had nothing to say to him and if what he'd said was true, then her not speaking to him should be exactly what he wanted and him storming off

GarlicReturns Sun 26-Jan-14 14:57:23

Right, so he got into trouble for manipulating her at work. Did she also complain of sexual harassment?

FWIW, I know what I'd do in your situation but I don't know if you've got the bottle for it.

Mamafratelli Sun 26-Jan-14 14:58:51

I don't know the backstory but your dp could be in big trouble at work if she decides to complain. It doesn't matter that it took place outside of work, employers don't look favourably on this kind if thing.

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