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(54 Posts)
lisadolly75 Thu 23-Jan-14 09:56:56

Hi all I am just wondering if it would seem odd to you if your bf / hubby/partner would not want to be friends with you on fb ?
In fact was quite against it?!
I know it may sound trivial but is it important to you?

selfdestructivelady Thu 23-Jan-14 09:58:25

I would find this odd yes and I wouldn't like it.

poopooheadwillyfatface Thu 23-Jan-14 09:58:30

DH isn't on fb.
If he was, I would expect us to be friends I suppose. But he is utterly disinterested in all that bollocks.

500internalerror Thu 23-Jan-14 09:59:46

I wasn't at all sure I was happy having dh as a fb friend. We all need personal space etc etc. but it's not that bad actually.

JeanSeberg Thu 23-Jan-14 10:00:05

Of course it's odd, what is he hiding?

Presumably this is your bf/hubby/partner you're referring to?

HoratiaDrelincourt Thu 23-Jan-14 10:00:33

I find that odd, I have to say.

FlatFacedArmy Thu 23-Jan-14 10:02:01

Facebook is for connecting with friends. If DH was on it I'd certainly expect him to be linked to me as my friend. All the married couples I know who are both on Facebook are friends. It's highly unusual not to accept a friend request from a partner.

I think if one partner is saying to another "I don't want you spying on me!" or "I don't want you knowing anything about my life!" as it implies, then the relationship has deeper problems than Facebook, IMO...

Mumraathenoisylion Thu 23-Jan-14 10:02:02

It isn't important to me - my dh isn't on Facebook but I have had a previous bf pull that trick because he wanted to be chatting to other girls. Afraid it's a red flag.

DownstairsMixUp Thu 23-Jan-14 10:03:19

I don't really know, it is a bit odd. Someone I know doesn't have his wife on his facebook - she defintely has an account though and the other week he did a happy birthday to his wife status but she's not on his facebook?! Confusing! Why wouldn't you I suppose is the question.

lisadolly75 Thu 23-Jan-14 10:07:38

Yes it is my bf of course! Of 15 years !

And a long story ��

TheDoctorsNewKidneys Thu 23-Jan-14 10:08:19

Yes, I would find it very odd. If they didn't have an account, that's one thing, but if they did and refused to add me, I would assume he had something to hide (another woman, DC from a past relationship or some kind of habit I didn't know about).

I honestly think it's a red flag these days. Especially when you know he has an account and is firmly against adding you.

poopooheadwillyfatface Thu 23-Jan-14 10:13:33

I wouldn't feel it was invading my privacy, no.i stay logged in he can look at it anytime if he wants. He doesn't thoughgrin
and anything i put on fb is by definition, not private anyway.

MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw Thu 23-Jan-14 10:13:47

I would find it not only odd, but highly suspicious. Like when my Ex went mad when I visited unexpectedly one day, and accused me of trying to catch him with an OW. Guess what, he was a cheat.

Does your DP give any reason? What positive reason could there possibly be?

MirandaWest Thu 23-Jan-14 10:15:08

I know that my bf's XW didn't want him to be friends with her on Facebook and that was because she was having an affair which I presume him seeing her Facebook would have shown.

lisadolly75 Thu 23-Jan-14 10:40:39

Ok here goes : bout 4 years ago we had problems and broke up( yes he had relations with someone at work)
We just took each other for granted tbh, always working and not talking etc...
So we sold house and we lived bout 10 mins from each other( we have a dog which is v imp to us) and we actually get on great as friends!
Last year we started dating slowly as been getting on well ( ow left country- all over)
Now I have stopped pill and sold my house and moved in.
All is fab and we both want it to work.
However! Yesterday I showed a friend a photo of hos new car( only pic I know is on fb) and there are comments from HER. They arent friends but do have old workmates in common.
He said that he was v surprised she commented and understood how I felt. I asked him to delete comments ( which were normal and not leading onto anything)
And block her. He has said yes tho not had proof yet.
But he will not add me as a friend.
Says that some people at work will prob have digs at him as I took him back etc......
He keeps saying to me how he lives in the rw
With me , dog etc...
Was more willing to delete fb than add me as friend ?!
But why do I feel like I am a fool ?
I know its not major thing but I know I wont feel
differently about it and it wont go away will it?

Mumraathenoisylion Thu 23-Jan-14 10:59:18

Sorry, you are being a fool - in the nicest possible way.

You sound lovely and deserve someone who won't be ashamed of being with you at work, out of work or anywhere.


poopooheadwillyfatface Thu 23-Jan-14 11:03:43

why are you bothered that someone commented on his car pic? confused

lisadolly75 Thu 23-Jan-14 11:05:58

Because SHE commented thats why!!!!!

poopooheadwillyfatface Thu 23-Jan-14 11:06:01

oh his ex from years ago commented? I have a couple of exes on mine. They comment on and like things sometimes. I am certain that DH wouldn't give the tiniest toss.

MsWinnieBaygo Thu 23-Jan-14 11:06:52

People at work will have digs at him because you took him back? Does that mean he keeps your relationship a secret from people at his work and hasn't told people you are back together?? shock

MsWinnieBaygo Thu 23-Jan-14 11:08:20

FB isn't issue here, not is an ex commenting on a photo of a car, it's that he seems to be keeping you a dirty secret and not wanting people to know that you're in q relationship together.

lisadolly75 Thu 23-Jan-14 11:10:25

No he has told people that matter to him. I have met them. Quite rightly.
He just does not see my point and it really irritates me.

MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw Thu 23-Jan-14 11:10:51

An ex from years ago is very different from an OW, I would not be happy that they were FB friends, and assume that this was why he doesn't want to 'friend' you. Not telling work colleagues that you are together when some know the OW is also a red flag. Sorry OP it's looking bad to me.

lisadolly75 Thu 23-Jan-14 11:12:41

Hmmm i dont think its a secret. His parents know whats

MsWinnieBaygo Thu 23-Jan-14 11:14:22

There is a difference between telling me that matter & not mentioning to others because you don't talk about relationships, don't know them well enough - he, however, seems to be actively trying to keep you a secret to a large chunk of his life/work friends

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