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The Dating Thread 68.

(1000 Posts)
Bant Mon 13-Jan-14 23:45:51

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits Tue 14-Jan-14 09:33:52

Forgot to say - Result nearly you go girl! Have lots of fun!

SoftKittyWarmKitty Tue 14-Jan-14 09:35:30

Well, this thread has moved on but I found you from thread 67 grin. Let's not argue though, it's not worth it. We all need the support on here - I know I do - support mixed in with straight talking is what we each need at times, as well as occasions where we need hand holding and occasions where we deserve a cheer. In short, let's ll be friends smile.

Right, I have my coffee date at 12.30 and I'm bricking it. On the verge of not going. I've got nothing to wear that isn't too dressy or too casual. What if I don't recognise him? What if I don't like him or I can tell he doesn't like me? What if, heaven forbid, he doesn't turn up? Aarrgghhh!

LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits Tue 14-Jan-14 09:39:49

Breathe are going to be fine! You are going to make the right outfit decisions. May work may not but get yourself out there and enjoy some good coffee!

Hear hear by the way

SoftKittyWarmKitty Tue 14-Jan-14 09:43:25

I hate coffee so I'll be drinking tea grin. Think I'm going to run the vacuum round while I ponder what to wear. I know I'm only going to be with him for two hours max but I'm so nervous.

MasterP0 Tue 14-Jan-14 09:46:05

Lies I LOOOOVE a happy ending! GOOD LUCK, you give me hope YAY!

RE: Bant and his merry "private messagers" SMDH at drama being created for no good reason. I've had to bite my tongue and NOT be rude in my replies............. rolling my eyes............

MasterP0 Tue 14-Jan-14 09:50:02

Kitty (((CUDDLES))) I hope it all goes well regardless of outcome. Is hoovering not going to make you sweat and mess up your makeup/hair?? Jeans/riding boots/jumper combo is perfect for coffee date.

LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits Tue 14-Jan-14 09:54:23

Will send you positive thoughts Kitty. You're going to look hot! Nerves are good! Tea would be my choice too and none of this fancy crap - give me a good strong cup of tetley that you can stand your spoon in!!!!

Master wishing you lots of luck...your number is about to come up girl and I will be doing an embarrassing little jig when it does!!!!

Poffedoff Tue 14-Jan-14 10:32:19

That must have been the quickest a thread has ever filled,they usually last a month! Great to see some "past pupils" rejoin the thread and hope you all stick around :-)
Personally I enjoy the diversity of opinions expressed here. In real life we tend to gravitate towards like minded people when choosing friends or partners, having input from posters who look at things from a different slant can be very beneficial I find...
I think its a bit of a shame that the title of the thread is quite preachy, hope it doesn't put people off (sorry bant)

Bant Tue 14-Jan-14 10:39:00

Well, technically, the title of the thread is 'The Dating Thread 68'. And obviously if anyone feels like it's a bit preachy then they can shut their eyes.

(did you see what I did there?)

dontcallmehon Tue 14-Jan-14 10:39:33

I've not packed a bag for Paris yet, master but I've written a list!
Exchanged 100 texts with geeky again last night, basically saying we miss each other. It's all very intense.

tOn the subject of parents' relationships, of course they influence us. But I've never met my dad. He didn't want me and left before I was born. I really wouldn't want to discuss that with a stranger! Far too personal. What I liked about geeky when we first chatted online was that there were no personal questions at all. We got to know each other naturally.

dippinmytoe Tue 14-Jan-14 10:40:59

kitty good luck ! It is nerve wracking this dating lark again !!

master I saw nothing offensive in your posts , it is a forum after all !

Well date 2 last night ! We dtd! all very nice! Today I'm feeling a bit meh over it all .. he has been texting this morning and we are arranging date 3 ... but I'm not sure. . My stomach does go all funny ( in a good way) when I see him.. maybe I'm just being cautious. Dating and juggling kids etc is hard work !!

Poffedoff Tue 14-Jan-14 10:44:22

Good luck Kitty, I can relate to your outfit wardrobe always looks so empty when I'm thinking about what to wear on a date, especially a day time one! I tend to go for skinny jeans and boots meself...

Poffedoff Tue 14-Jan-14 10:48:28

That got the awkward "exclusivity" chat out of the way quite neatly Lies :-)

Poffedoff Tue 14-Jan-14 10:50:52

I stand corrected bant

MasterP0 Tue 14-Jan-14 11:12:14

Dont how long is your list, hahahahahaha! Honestly we women.

Dippin I can relate to the mixed bag of feelings. Insecurity perhaps?? The good thing is he's still in contact, date 3 has been arranged, so TRY TO RELAX. Yes it IS rather tricky with kids, work, life, etc. but if it's important enough to us, we'll make the time.

Lies I DO HOPE something/anything positive happens, SIGH! Thank YOU

Poff thanks for that. I too see it as preachy that's why I questioned him (Bant) directly, plus I gathered he was having a dig. But it is what it IS! He reminds me of my little boy, who's soooo anally retentive, who on several occasions asked his teacher to tell his classmates to quieten down as they were giving him a headache (REALLY?!?!?) bless my little pudding pie, the only difference was that he was 6 at the time.................Moving on now.......

49howdidthathappen Tue 14-Jan-14 11:18:14

I can't see where you were judged Broken ?

He asked a question, that's all. Obviously you were under no obligation to reply.

My mother left my father when I was 3 too, no one has judged me for it, why the fuck would they confused

TalisaMaegyr Tue 14-Jan-14 11:28:19

Man alive, broken, you are so defensive! I think that's a perfectly reasonable question to ask someone, it's just showing an interest, not trying to judge, ffs! I don't understand you. Just chill out!

powpow80 Tue 14-Jan-14 11:58:19

Hi All

Nearly that's great news. Is it this weekend it is happening?

Lies that random pof dude couldn't have timed his message better. You know exactly where you stand now. It's brilliant.

Kitty best of luck today. Let us know how you get on.

Dipping all sounds good. Try not to worry and enjoy it.

Think things with long distance dude are grinding to a halt I'd say. He has to work crazy hours this week and will be going home at the weekend for a family thing. Don't know when I would get to see him again. I do however have a date on Thursday evening with someone else grin

Bant Tue 14-Jan-14 12:30:16

broken - I see your point, it's weird to talk about your personal background with a complete stranger, but then I've found (from relationship counseling in the past, and a lot of reflection on the subject) that family background is hugely influential to how we behave later in life, and how we interact with others.

People from a very small family with few siblings/cousins tend to be a little more introverted, people from a large talkative family are more outgoing. People with parents who split when they were very young, or never split at all, tend to be more willing to end a relationship they're not happy in than people who have unhappy parents who stayed married. (Those are generalisations of course but they tend to be true)

So it's fair to talk to a prospective partner about it, although leaping to it as a first question is a bit weird. Personally I'd have said 'I'd rather not talk about it until I know you a bit better' and decide whether they could be trusted with personal details like that, but I understand why you wouldn't want to.

Bant Tue 14-Jan-14 12:33:40

Sorry, that middle paragraph should have said 'people with parents who split when they were very young, or who stayed happily together' vs 'people whose parents split when they were teens or who stayed unhappily married' - those have different effects on whether offspring will stay in a relationship or not, for different reasons. Or so I was told.

49howdidthathappen Tue 14-Jan-14 12:50:31

That explains my big gob and frequent dumpings of me poor bloke.

Its the judging bit I don't get. Do people?

OhWesternWind Tue 14-Jan-14 12:53:16

Broken I wouldn't worry about that question either, it's normal to talk about your family and easy to divert the topic onto something else if you don't want to have that particular conversation.

Things are going very well for me at the moment - I'm still seeing the lovely Alpha who just goes on getting better and better. He's supported me through some very difficult times with my family recently so I know he's not just in it for the good times. I think this is the best relationship I've ever had, we are incredibly happy together and making plans for the future. I found him on Match, Master!

ALittleStranger Tue 14-Jan-14 12:58:48

I don't know how guided the eharmony guided questons are, but that phrasing isn't a general "tell me about your childhood" and seems very specifically designed to suss out your ishoos. I'm happy to talk about my upbringing with potential partners but I would take issue at someone quizzing me on it before they'd met. I know that my parents' relationships are a screaming red flag drapped around me, so I'd prefer to only put it out there when someone can be simultaneously dazzled by my wit, charm and bum.

Nice to see so many alumni popping in.

49howdidthathappen Tue 14-Jan-14 13:04:32

Tbh my dumping of my chap have been due to my mothers ill health and subsequent family stress.

When the going has got tough I have done a runner. But he understands this and has always been there for me.

There are good uns out there grin

MasterP0 Tue 14-Jan-14 13:05:17

WW I'm feeling very encouraged at these positive stories! Good luck, I hope it continued to go from strength to strength!

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