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I think I am the only person in the entire world who does not want sex

(77 Posts)
SadFreak Mon 13-Jan-14 00:51:39

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why cant I just be like everyone else?

The whole world is shagging. Every fucking thing seems to revolve around sex and innuendos and I am like such sad fucking cold fish. A freak.

And now my marriage is fucked up. Why cant I just be normal?

Am sat here in floods of tears wondering where the fuck I go from here.

My options laid out to me this evening are:

1: Attempt a proper marriage with sex

2: We attempt a sexless marriage (done that and its failed - see options below)

3: We live as we are now as friends but DH continues to hook up with randoms he meets on the internet for sex discreetly

4: We seperate

He so say loves me but resents me for the lack of sex.

He has a point, I struggle to do it. I rarely get the urge.

There is a back story. Tonight I found another phone which apparently has his hook ups and sex chat on it. He would not let me see it but finally admitted to it. I discovered similar a few years ago and we tried to work through it but I cant face sex with him as I "know" where he has been and moreless what he has done - seen the details of anal etc in chat. Its the lack of sex thats driven him to do this.

Its all my fault because I am a shit wife. Why can I not be like everyone else in the world and be gagging for sex morning noon and night.

I know all this is my fault. I have been evil and selfish denying him sex and yet expecting him to love me and stay faithful. Although this is a shock I have suspected for a long while and yet I did nothing. I dont understand why I am so shocked and hurt tonight. I am being over dramatic when I dont deserve to be. I have brought this on us.

I fucking hate myself right now. I feel like dissapearring off the face of the earth to some cave where a freak like me can exist all on my own but despite my obvious sexual abnormality I am a mum to 2 beautiful girls who I adore and need me, so there is no escape.

Just sat here shaking, crying and like my head will burst. Sorry if I am waffling, I am not thinking straight.

Lucylloyd13 Fri 14-Mar-14 08:04:44

Sex drives do vary, some women don't need it, others do. You are not a freak in having a low sex drive, but being married to a man who does need it is asking for trouble.

Sex is a need, but it is also a part of a healthy relationship where you want it with him. I enjoy sex, but want it as an expression of love with my boyfriend.

the right man can make all the difference.

bumbumsmummy Fri 14-Mar-14 08:17:15

Sounds to me like you don't want sex because your husband is an arsehole

I'd use your lack of desire as a barometer for your relationship

Had you tried counselling ?

Maybe if that doesn't work perhaps coming up with a plan to LTB might just give you your mojo back

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