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Why does he deny the patently obvious??

(204 Posts)
Aloneandnowwhat Sun 05-Jan-14 19:38:26

He's been caught out cheating by me reading the texts, still denies it ever happened. Just found tweets to some random girl commenting on her good looks, again denied it was him.
Does he think I'm that stupid? And why cheat if you don't want to leave?
Sorry, more of a rant than anything else.

cjel Mon 13-Jan-14 23:18:43

Playgroup is a good place but although its tempting to reward good behaviour(And I agree) it may be seen as provocative f he doesn't think hes behaved badly?x

SingleAndLovingIt Mon 13-Jan-14 23:00:47

Maybe refuse to meet him with kids again until he respects your boundaries and leaves you alone? Reward the good behaviour?

Aloneandnowwhat Mon 13-Jan-14 22:26:25

They did ring me back and I asked them if I should still allow contact. The policewoman said it was a good idea to use a playgroup as a meeting place. Maybe tomorrow is too soon.

cjel Mon 13-Jan-14 21:53:07

I think thats just why you need contact order. You will know when ans where you will have to see him and won't have to have contact for any other reason.
Stop offering to meet him he will step up the bad behaviour trying to make you feel bad and it will wear you out. Take advice from thepolice, they have seen it all before and know what they are talking about.xx

Aloneandnowwhat Mon 13-Jan-14 21:29:01

I don't feel amazing. I feel shattered and under siege if that makes sense. Looking forward to some peace and quiet but who knows when that will ever happen sad

ummingandahhing Mon 13-Jan-14 20:38:29

Bloody hell OP. You have been amazing. It's only been just over a week and look how far you've come!

Aloneandnowwhat Mon 13-Jan-14 19:35:44

Yeah he wouldn't let them in then slammed door in their faces! I might have been a bit ott but it was a shock walking right into him and he's got form for breaking in so I was genuinely worried.
I was surprised they told me to get the contact order, at the minute it's all up to me but if I had that I'd have to hand them over regardless of his state of mind. I'll seek some sort of advice but certainly won't be inadvertently helping him out.

captainmummy Mon 13-Jan-14 19:25:59

Well done for that OP - he was obnoxious to the police too? What a charmer.

Next time he threatens suicide (why do these people think we care?) tell him that you can only notify the professionals.

He needs to get solicitors advice re contact. You have done plenty.

Aloneandnowwhat Mon 13-Jan-14 19:22:56

Hi all, he started banging on windows etc so I rang 101 for advice. They sent some policewomen round but he'd already gone when they got here.
They've been round to warn him and said he was obnoxious to them, I told them about the suicide threats also. They told me to get a solicitor and get a contact order but I don't want to do him any favours.
I've offered him to see them at playgroup again tomorrow so I'm being more than generous.

Tinkertaylor1 Mon 13-Jan-14 19:19:08

Pah typical!

The old, poor me I've got no where to go trick. <---- this is actually intimidation . Leave him there, close curtains and don't look out.

He clearly still isn't respecting your feelings or boundaries .

Creepy twat!

RenterNomad Mon 13-Jan-14 19:14:05

Outside the back door?! If the area is locked, all the more reason to call the police and get some witnesses! shock

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Mon 13-Jan-14 18:56:03

Only call the police if you genuinely feel threatened. Don't waste limited resources.

Glenshee Mon 13-Jan-14 18:42:47

Call police and say you feel threatened by this.

cjel Mon 13-Jan-14 18:40:31

I think you should ring 101 and report that you feel scared of his behaviour. They will log it and may even pop over and have a quiet word.xx

AnyFucker Mon 13-Jan-14 18:24:01

play this at top volume

AnyFucker Mon 13-Jan-14 18:22:08

Christ, he is a stupid fuck, isn't he

Tell him to sling his hook.

Better still, throw a pail of dirty water over him "by accident" (just joking about that bit)

captainmummy Mon 13-Jan-14 18:10:46

Is it raining, Alone? grin

Hasn't he got a bed somewhere? Anywhere? Back of the car? He's pathetic; he did this - he can't complain when it bites him on the bum.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Mon 13-Jan-14 17:45:11

Ignore him or tell him to bog off back to his girlfriend or his mum's.

He doesn't believe you aren't going to take him back. You have to make him believe it is over.

Aloneandnowwhat Mon 13-Jan-14 17:41:34

Just went to put rubbish out and he's sat outside the door in the back yard.

Tinkertaylor1 Mon 13-Jan-14 14:56:42

Well done you!


ToffeeOwnsTheSausage Mon 13-Jan-14 14:31:37

You are doing really well. SO strong.

Do not allow him to make you the bad guy in front of the children again. If he does, just leave.

StraightLineOfResignation Mon 13-Jan-14 14:25:22

read the whole thread, well done , very well done OP,

you've really took control , I'm very impressed, I hope the next few weeks aren't too unbearable.

Aloneandnowwhat Mon 13-Jan-14 13:50:49

Thank you everyone, I can honestly say it's only because of the advice on here and other peoples posts that I can see him for what he is. It's ridiculous to think they all follow the exact same script - and why would him threatening to kill himself make me realise what a wonderful person he is and forgive him all his many wrongdoings??

cjel Mon 13-Jan-14 13:38:56

Well done OP you sound so much more in control now and are starting to see which is reality and which is nonsense. I think that you should keep in mind some advice from WA or the police if you feel yourself unsure but you seem to have things together now.xx

AnyFucker Mon 13-Jan-14 13:27:53

OP, you are fabulous.

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