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Maybe meeting ex soon. Advice?

(51 Posts)
Eponine2014 Sun 05-Jan-14 12:56:13

Hello, first time poster here so I hope I'm in the right place (apologies if not).

I shan't go into details and its very long and complicated, but the essence of my situation is I was with a man, I believe I was a rebound and we rushed things, it ended up being a very short relationship, he was in the wrong head space and so was I for different reasons, then after he ended things I have basically been slightly badgering him.
Not entirely all down to me; we would sleep together, he would beat himself up over it, it was a huge mess basically.

He recently said he wanted no contact at all, but we did speak on the phone not long afterwards and he said he has mixed feelings about me, doesn't feel we have a future but could be wrong. He then said he cannot work out why he still likes me after all the rubbish I have put him through (cannot go into details as some of it is ongoing re work) but if I leave him alone until something at work has completed (he may be fired, that's all i am willing to say), he will come and see me with "as much of an open mind as I can manage" even though he really doesn't want to.

Now. Aside from the fact there are huge red flags n the history, his choice of words and everything else, if he does get in touch (and there is a chance he won't, I know that, but he does have some jewellery of mine he says he will return to me when he comes over), I would like to give us a chance to just get on.

I'm not sure what I want and expect from him at this moment in time, but since the break up I had a habit of rehashing the past quite a lot which led to tension.

So IF he gets in touch and IF I decide to meet him, how should I handle the situation?

I feel like I have two options; 1 - apologise for my part in the crap that occurred post breakup, tell him I would like us to have a chance to get on as friends and maybe more in future, BUT if he can't handle that then I respect his decision (then disappear) or 2 - treat the meet up as almost like a first date with a new man; just keep it light, friendly, fun, not mention the old, dead relationship or anything new, and see how it goes.

What would you do?

Sorry for the triviality of this, there is an age gap between us but I'm old enough to feel quite embarrassed by this post and my situation!

Logg1e Sun 05-Jan-14 18:02:01

Just thank him and ask him to pop the pendant through the letterbox as you're pretty busy at the moment. Even if that's not strictly true.

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