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Today I was told that I'm a freak

(56 Posts)
SoAmIWeirdOrAmINot Sat 04-Jan-14 23:30:58

Name Change! (no idea why I feel like to mention it, but it just kinda makes me feel more legit facepalm

Anyway, this morning I was out and about and met a group of women that I used to talk to in my playgroup frequenting days (there's 3 of them). Whilst our dc's were busy playing and generally trying to kill themselves at the playground, we were chatting about different things, and the chat kinda steered to relationships/ husbands/ other half annoyances and so on. I was asked a question about how long I've been with my partner with and I just said, without much thinking that I've never been in a relationship so there's no partner. And it's true, I have been single my whole life- all 28 years of it. I have had 3 one night stands in my early 20's but that's about it. I have never felt like I need to be with someone, share my day-to-day life with them, etc. Even at school never once did I feel like I should be with someone.

The way that the women reacted and things that they said made me feel like an alien of some kind. One actually called me a freak. So, my question is- am I? Surely it's perfectly normal to be single and happy and not want to be with someone? Or are they right?

spindlyspindler Sun 05-Jan-14 15:43:14

I was very single and very happy when I met my current OH. I had been for most of my adult life (I was 32 when we met). I have always felt that being single is a positive alternative and very much my preferred option to a relationship that didn't live up to what I wanted. I had been thinking of adopting as a sole parent when I met him. If it ends with him for whatever reason I will be very happy to keep being single (preferably with pockets full of string, pony nuts, dog biscuits and a trail of reasonably well adjusted adoptees behind me) unless someone I really can't say no to comes along.

I hate that being single is always portrayed as a crap default mode rather than a positive choice and I stick two fingers up at those horrible crabby mums. "Freak" indeed.

Preciousbane Sun 05-Jan-14 15:47:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoAmIWeirdOrAmINot Sun 05-Jan-14 22:07:28

I am so glad to hear that there are so many of my Forever Alone club members! Not because it makes me feel validated or anything, but just to know that there are other people like me, who love their life as it is and do not feel the need to conform. We should do some high tea some day!

Someone up thread mentioned some women feeling threatened that I will steal their husbands and it reminded me of this friend I used to have. We are the same age and she is married to someone who's 28 years her senior. A few years ago they had their first DC and I used to stay with them for about a week a few times a year to help out with the child, especially in the first few months. Once her husband found out that I had never been in a relationship he became almost obsessed with getting me into his bed. At first it was just some banter, "accidental" brushes of my bum/ legs/ an occasional naughty text sent to me "by accident". I brushed it off at first, then started saying loudly whenever he touched me "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to be in your way" etc., until there was one night, about 1 year into my visits to them, when were watching a film, all of us in the lounge. My friend and the baby were on one sofa breastfeeding/ nodding off, me and her husband on the other one (a massive 4-seater, me at one end him on the other). At one point I realised that he was sitting more or less right next to me- ok, fine, it's easier to see the TV from there- but then he started stroking me, my back, back of my neck, mi thigh and foot, whispering that he really wants me (ugh, I still get the creeps today just thinking about it). I have to admit that I just froze and did nothing. I was terrified as to WTAF was going on and was this for real? I went to bed that night really scared that he might creep into my room in the night. That was my last night there. Me and my friend had met up for a couple of lunches since, but eventually, unfortunately, that friendship came to an end.

Lizzabadger Sun 05-Jan-14 23:22:18

Yuck - how horrible for you. Did you tell your friend?

hookedonchoc Sun 05-Jan-14 23:38:41

Blu: The dreary paucity of mind of those who find something less usual or not a carbon copy of their own lives to be 'freakish'.

Very well said, Blu. Don't worry OP it is just the herd mentality. I'm surprised they didn't link hands and chant "Join us, join us".

willybreeder Sun 05-Jan-14 23:41:05

Aw no, horrible! That kind of incident has happened to me too when Ive been single

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