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Relationships

Girlfriend careless with mini pill

346 replies

concern3d · 01/01/2014 16:21

I would greatly appreciate some input into my situation so I can try and work out whether or not I'm over thinking things.

My girlfriend is taking Cerelle. I have done a lot of reading about this and understand that it should be taken at the same time every day in order to be ~99% effective at preventing pregnancy.

However, my girlfriend is adamant that the '12 hour window' means she can take it any time within a 12 hour period. She has chosen 7am to 7pm. She therefore takes it whenever she remembers between these hours.

I have explained to her my understanding of how it should be used, but she is insistent that she has been using it for a long time and has been assured by a doctor that her use of the mini pill is fine.

We have had a number of conversations about this, which always end in hard feelings. What should be a discussion turns into an argument.

We have only been using the mini-pill for contraception as I trusted she was using it correctly. However, over the past few weeks as I have got to know more about her attitude towards and practice of contraception, I am concerned that we should be using a second method.

I feel as though I have no control over the situation and am placing all my trust in her. I am nowhere near in a position to have a child at the moment - either financially, or in terms of maturity. Additionally, we have not been dating for long. I would appreciate your opinions on the situation.

OP posts:
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Bakerof3pudsxx · 01/01/2014 16:23

Use a condom then

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pepperrabbit · 01/01/2014 16:24

I would take the pack to the pharmacist, together, and get that clarified. Then you'll both hear the advice at the same time and you can choose how to protect yourselves thereafter.

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Juno77 · 01/01/2014 16:24

You are joking right? Use a bloody condom, or stop having sex.

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cathpip · 01/01/2014 16:25

Errrr, condom!

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FalalalalalalaFiggy · 01/01/2014 16:25

Use a condom if you don't trust her to get it right.

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SantyClaws · 01/01/2014 16:25

Yes it would be very sensible to put a hat on it if you have concerns.

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EdithWeston · 01/01/2014 16:27

"I am concerned that we should be using a second method."

Condoms would be a suitable second method, and one you can start to use immediately.

Two methods is a sensible thing if PG would be disastrous.

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MaeveBehave · 01/01/2014 16:27

Wear a condom 100% of the time then.

Women the shitty end of the stick; having all the responsibilityvand then the blame in the event of a pregnancy.

So take more responsibility.

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SirChenjin · 01/01/2014 16:28

You are responsible for your contraception and sexual health, she is responsible for hers - which translates as "use a condom!"

You do have to take the mini pill (progestogen only pill) at the same time every day - see the FPA guidelines here www.fpa.org.uk/contraception-help/progestogen-only-pill-pop
Does she want to be pregnant, do you think?

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lilyaldrin · 01/01/2014 16:29

Let her take care of her contraception, and you take some responsibility for yours. No problem.

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SlightlyDampWellies · 01/01/2014 16:33

what everyone else says,

FWIW, I use Cerelle, and my GP told me exactly what your GF's GP told her. The reason why I took this one is because I have a frenetic life and often forgot to take a previous type within a smaller window.

use a condom. Get off her back (no pun intended) and don't be so damned patronising.

HTH

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Finola1step · 01/01/2014 16:36

Use a condom. Every time. You have equal control over your sexual health and it is your responsibility to make sure that you do not conceive a child if this is not what you want. No man or woman needs to relinquish control of their fertility and child rearing status. This is bonkers.

From what I know, the mini pill should be taken pretty much at the same time of day, every day. The 12 hour window is there for the very occasional forgetfulness. You would then take your next pill at the usual time. So, if you usually take your pill at breakfast time and forget but remember at lunchtime, that's fine if its very occasional. You would then take your next pill at breakfast time the next day, not move it to lunch time.

Good advice to both go along to the pharmacist or your local family planning centre and hear the advice together. The FPC will often give out free condoms as well. It sounds like you really need them.

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TheRobberBride · 01/01/2014 16:37

If you don't trust her then use a condom.

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sunbathe · 01/01/2014 16:39

Was coming on here to say use a condom. But I see that's been covered.

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DoingItForMyself · 01/01/2014 16:40

Even with a 99% effectiveness rate that means that for every 100 women using it correctly for a year, one will get pregnant.

By adding condoms into the mix you can be assured that you are both doing all you can to prevent pregnancy. If even the slightest chance of pregnancy is too much then the only answer is abstinence.

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eurochick · 01/01/2014 16:41

"I feel as though I have no control over the situation"

So take control - put a condom on your cock.

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SirChenjin · 01/01/2014 16:43

Was coming on here to say use a condom. But I see that's been covered

As it were Grin

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TheOrchardKeeper · 01/01/2014 16:43

What everyone else said.

If you're that against a pregnancy and think she's using the pill wrong the why on earth wouldn't you be using one already?

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FreeAtLastAtLongLast · 01/01/2014 16:43

Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy

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Musicaltheatremum · 01/01/2014 16:44

Cerelle is slightly different to the other mini pills. The other ones have to he taken within an hour or two of the previous day.
Cerelle(cerazette) has a longer window of safety but I always recommend take it at the same time. Otherwise you are more likely to forget it.
I would think she would be a good candidate for the implant. (Nexplanon)

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sunbathe · 01/01/2014 16:44
Grin
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Peekska · 01/01/2014 16:44

I was also coming on to post "use a condom".
I'm not really clear what other advice you want, because you using a condom should be pretty obvious under these circumstances as you've described them.
Use a condom and talk again to your girlfriend about your concerns

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SlightlyDampWellies · 01/01/2014 16:46

Sorry for being snippy earlier OP, but yes, what everyone else said. You have a responsibility too, it is not just hers.

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gamerchick · 01/01/2014 16:46

I probably wouldn't come back on saying you don't like condoms if I were you Grin

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gamerchick · 01/01/2014 16:50

And if you haven't been together long.. you have both been for sti checks before going bare back right?

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