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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Tell me your success stories of meeting a partner over 40

110 replies

AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 19:34

I mean when you were over 40. :)

It feels to me that the media spreads a lot of scary stories about women over 40 never being able to find a new partner. And of 40+ men living in a world of endless young fanjo and joy. Which could lead to women aged 40 or above staying in miserable relationships out of fear it's their last chance.

So... Let's redress the balance of the folklore! Did you meet your partner over 40? Tell us everything. :)

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AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 19:40

Anyone? Yikes! It's worse than I thought!

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Blossomflowers · 30/12/2013 19:41

I am watching. 47 and newly single. Hope there is a future for me as don't want to be known as the mad cat lady,,,,

Mum2Fergus · 30/12/2013 19:42

Met DP online 2 months before my 40th...he moved in with me 3 months later, and we had DS a year later

pertempsnooo · 30/12/2013 19:43

...a friend of mine, via soulmates. A happy couple now and very committed.

Squeegle · 30/12/2013 19:49

I haven't met a partner, but I have met a very nice fellow on POF. I am 48 and didn't think anyone would be interested, but actually there do seem to be quite a lot around.

Lots of strange people, but lots of nice blokes too- just like real life!!

Squeegle · 30/12/2013 19:50

I think it's the luck of the draw and also not taking it too seriously. It should be fun.

storynanny · 30/12/2013 19:55

Yes, keep positive,, I met my partner 9 years ago when I was 48.

BonaDea · 30/12/2013 19:56

My best friend met someone when she was 42. She married him this summer aged 45.

LovesPeace · 30/12/2013 19:58

Split with my ex of 13 years after I found he was cheating, lying, using prostitutes when I was early 40s, he was late 30s.

Found a FWB to get me back into practice , ditched him after 6 months, then met someone a whole 3 months older than me.
Having fun, although he's a bit more serious and wants to get married - I'm in no rush as it's only been a year.

And my ex? Texting me to tell me he's unhappy, his flat is 'empty and echoey', he's been looking for jobs for both of us (WTF?). And the 20yr olds who he was sexting all disappeared like snow in June the minute I dumped his sorry arse. Karma works.

So get out there and meet people.

Pan · 30/12/2013 20:00

I am male and over 40. I have two close friends (well, one more closer than the other) who I see most days. They are fine people, also over 40 and single. None of us are having 'endless young fanjo and joy'. We have joy in life in other ways.

So lets see..brief survey with a small sample....Truth 1 Social Myths 0.

SecretSix · 30/12/2013 20:01

I met my DP of six years a few months after my 40th (he's a year older). Happier than I have ever been. And he is so lovely, and we make each other very happy.

LovesPeace · 30/12/2013 20:02

The truth is, dating doesn't change much with age - except hopefully we're all a bit wiser and kinder.

rpitchfo · 30/12/2013 20:03

My parents divorced in the their 50's. Both found new partners.

gettingeasiernow · 30/12/2013 20:04

I did, but I had known him as a colleague years earlier, we'd lost contact, moved to different workplaces, and then bumped into each other again, by which time we had both separated from our partners. FWIW my best friend has a similar story, she bumped into an old friend from uni days and they're getting married later this year too. I was 49 when re-met dh and friend was 53 when she re-met her dp. Both feel we are with the loves of our lives and very happy.
Unfortunately, dating these days seems to require snap decisions based on attraction, and that just doesn't work when you are a bit jaded. It helps if there is history, no matter how vague, so you can reminisce a bit over old times, it's a far more innocent type of conversation you can be having while figuring out if you like each other.
I think also the attraction thing is helped if they knew you when you were younger and at your peak of gorgeousness and they remember fancying you like crazy back then.

elastamum · 30/12/2013 20:05

Met my lovely DP online when I was 46 and a single parent two years post divorce. Have been together 3 wonderful years

CrispyHedgeHogmanay · 30/12/2013 20:07

I'm 44 and single but haven't had any trouble meeting men.. I just don't want one long term.

Never tried OD though

CMOTDibbler · 30/12/2013 20:07

BIL separated from his wife of 23 years after she told him out of the blue 'she'd fallen out of love long ago etc' (nothing to do with the bloke she'd been seeing obv). TBH, dh and I thought he'd never have another partner, between the combination of being with her since he was 16, having 3 teen boys living with him, and not being one for going out at all.
But he met a fabulous woman through work (rather randomly), and is blissfully happy. She's also had a rubbish time, and both are late 40's

LineRunner · 30/12/2013 20:10

I have been seeing my 'OH' for six months. I am 51, he is a few years younger.

We met when he came to fix a bit of my house - he's a friend of a friend and everyone seemed to owe each other a favour.

We have sex and everything although he says he would have been just as happy with a plate of bourbons.

AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 20:11

Oh this is all lovely! You're cheering me up!

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AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 20:14

Wouldn't it be lovely to have a crystal ball and know what's coming up? If you knew you were going to meet the Love of Your Life at 38, or 45, or 52, or 99 (eek), you could relax and plan your life accordingly. I.E., just have loads and loads and loads of sex while you waited.

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handfulofcottonbuds · 30/12/2013 20:16

LovesPeace - I want your life!

LineRunner -

Great thread, I'm going to be in this category in a few weeks. Good to know there is hope!

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 30/12/2013 20:27

Got together with dp when I was 49, he was toyboy of 43. Getting married this year. Xdh met his new fiancée at 57, also getting married this year. Romance is brilliant this time round - we are all so much wiser and better at everything (including s.e.x.)

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AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 20:28

The people who did meet in their 40s - did they have kids?

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AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 20:29

Obviously i'm just asking... Er, for a friend.

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AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2013 20:30

Crispyhedgehogmanay - where do you meet people, if not online? I don't think I've dated anyone I've met offline since I was 28. I work from home and was an early embraced of online-dating.

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