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DH caught masterbating

(311 Posts)
Alexa007 Sun 29-Dec-13 20:22:04

I know most ppl on this board are going to say this is no big deal but I walked in on my DH wanking in the shower today. Door was open I walked in to put some stuff away.

Naive maybe but we have talked about this before and he's always maintained he never does it and doesn't need to as we have sex regularly. We have been married 3 years, together 7 and have a dc aged nearly 1.

So now firstly I feel like he has been lying to me all this time. Fine if when we'd talked about it he said he'd always done it etc. but now I keep thinking back to times when he's been off taking super long in the shower....

Also, we have just come back from holiday together, if he was feeling horny why didn't he just get me, our lo was sleeping at the time.

I feel hurt.

neiljames77 Sun 29-Dec-13 21:39:18

TheBookofRuth- I'm not at it all the time like some chimp up a tree.
I only do it every now and then, honest.

(plus, after a while she'd wonder why I hadn't grown any plants or flowers)

phoolani Sun 29-Dec-13 21:39:30

Getting there. But, really, so much hostility!

eurochick Sun 29-Dec-13 21:41:03

I suspect he lied because you are controlling and a bit odd about a behaviour that is perfectly normal. Stop asking him about it and try to get over being bothered by it.

FluffyJumper Sun 29-Dec-13 21:41:22

He lied in the past cos he knew you'd be hurt.

It is not a big deal.

JuneauWhoIAm Sun 29-Dec-13 21:52:09

neiljames wringing his hands has nothing to do with his masturbation.
Have you not heard that term before? I didn't mean it as you seem to have taken it up. Read my post again.

Blushingm Sun 29-Dec-13 21:53:32

Neiljames - a friend of mines dh has a has a tv in and everything!!!! Even a beer fridge! I could ask him where he got it if you're interested!!!!!!

MadameDefarge Sun 29-Dec-13 21:55:25

would you like a thread about it neil? it doesn't sound very healthy.

JuneauWhoIAm Sun 29-Dec-13 21:55:47

And yy to lweji
and goes without saying to gin thanks for approving my fiddle smile

phoolani Sun 29-Dec-13 22:00:25

Then you have been on here way too long waltermittymissus.
'Oh FFS what a ridiculous OP'.
'For fucks sake, his genitals have nothing to do with you.'
I could go on, but yawn.

neiljames77 Sun 29-Dec-13 22:00:39

No thank you. I don't need a thread or a shed or a thread about a shed.

waltermittymissus Sun 29-Dec-13 22:01:49

Meh. I probably am.

thisismyYuleTimenickname Sun 29-Dec-13 22:11:17

At least there weren't a plastic fanjo, sandpaper or kitchenware involved...

Blushingm Sun 29-Dec-13 22:19:37

Sandpaper confusedconfusedconfused - the mind boggles!! smilesmile

thisismyYuleTimenickname Sun 29-Dec-13 22:21:04

Sandpaper story

InTheRedCorner Sun 29-Dec-13 22:25:11

Or a fanjo in a can...

neiljames77 Sun 29-Dec-13 22:29:54

That sandpaper thing, wouldn't his DW notice the damage?

Blushingm Sun 29-Dec-13 22:47:38

That sandpaper wanking thread is the most bizarre thing I've ever read

SamU2 Sun 29-Dec-13 22:47:52

I can't even remember the last time I masturbated. I just don't feel the urge to and I prefer to do it with DH helping.

I am not a freak.

OP, he lied because.. well who knows why he lied? maybe because he knew you would be upset or simply because he was embarrassed.

As far as lies goes this is a little white one (there is a joke there somewhere)

I think the posts calling you stupid are really mean. However, you do need to try to put it into perspective. Perhaps until this point he didn't do it, perhaps he is a chronic wanker, either way, it's ok for him to do it and well.. we all lie now and again don't we?

Bahhhhhumbug Sun 29-Dec-13 22:58:57


'like my DW, who's hobby is to go around the house like creeping Jesus in the hope of catching me in the act'

I couldn't breathe for laughing at that. So funny. grin

Bahhhhhumbug Sun 29-Dec-13 23:06:03

yes SamU2 as I said earlier ,there are two kinds of men , there are wankers and there are liars.

Love the 'chronic wanker' btw grin

For some reason I'm visualising nelljames running backwards and forwards to his new potting shed to the Benny Hill theme tune with Mrs Nelljames in hot pursuit.

Blushingm Sun 29-Dec-13 23:10:10

Oh humbug - now I've got that image in my head too!!!!!!! And he's wearing a wooly hat a la Benny hill!!!!

Op though I really think you are taking this a little bit to heart - him wanking is no reflection on you and in no way means he doesn't want sex with you..............

ashtrayheart Sun 29-Dec-13 23:11:50

I fiddle more when our sex life is more frequent if that's any help but then I'm a woman so maybe not grin

Bahhhhhumbug Sun 29-Dec-13 23:28:07

Blushingm grin yeah and has your Mrs Nelljames got a rolling pin in her hand or is that just me ?

Also as in true Benny Hill style there are more and more characters with every circuit of the potting shed.

I have now got as far as Nelljames pursued by Mrs Nelljames , followed by OPs DH in frilly shower cap, holding a strategic loofah. followed by OP.

I'll let you know if anyone else appears grin

NewBeginningsSnoopy Sun 29-Dec-13 23:32:25

My ex (note the word ex) would frequently feel himself up in bed with me. Sure aren't they always touching their willies as if they were about to go out of fashion?! ;-)

waltermittymissus Sun 29-Dec-13 23:49:18

For some reason I'm visualising nelljames running backwards and forwards to his new potting shed to the Benny Hill theme tune with Mrs Nelljames in hot pursuit

Crying laughing!

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