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If your DP started a thread on MN about you...

(82 Posts)
rpitchfo Fri 27-Dec-13 21:51:23

This section spends a lot of the time analyzing in varying degrees of detail the actions and motives of DPs.

Time for a little bit of introspection.

If your DP started a thread in MN relationships about you what would it look like?

garlicbaubles Sun 29-Dec-13 12:59:06

Happy to help! As you say Ethel's mother taught her to respect men such as you, your moving in with her looks to be an ideal punishment solution. Perhaps you could let Ethel off the deposit repayment, in exchange for her mother, as it were?

DidyouseeEthel Sun 29-Dec-13 00:00:05

Nah, my own mother appears to prefer Ethel to me, she thinks I treat her appallingly. Not sure why - she's just a woman ffs. Ethel's dm though, there's a thought, she loves me. And I can be very charming and funny when I need things to be done for me. Good idea garlic, there's hope for me yet.

I saw some paperwork recently that led me to believe dp is re-mortgaging her house and I worried that it might be to pay me back the deposit I put in. I can stop worrying now, dmil has a washing machine, oven and an even nicer house than dp.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 23:37:42

< narrows eyes in direction of Ethel >

garlicbaubles Sat 28-Dec-13 23:17:35

I meant to say, DidyousDP, that it does rather seem as though you two are no longer suited. Would you be able to hire some help after you split? Or could you, perhaps, move into a hotel or other establishment where your domestic needs will be met? Your mother's perhaps? Or DP's mother's?

garlicbaubles Sat 28-Dec-13 23:13:45


DidyouseeEthel Sat 28-Dec-13 23:10:57

Thank you garlicbaubles, I have skim read the 'look inside' option and really am flummoxed. The job description clearly states her position of humble rank and 'of low employment' so what on earth is her problem? She should feel honoured to come home after a long day at work and launder my clothes and prepare my dinner, while I stagger around pissed and verbally abusive, for I am a man, and she is fortunate to have one.

I have an uneasy feeling that this foray into mumsnet won't end well, and can only hope that my next 'partner' will have never heard of yourself, AnyFucker et al.

Pleasefiveminutesforme Sat 28-Dec-13 22:53:00

My DM may well be a manipulative bitch but poor thing had to put up with my EA DP so am I correct in thinking it's totally excusable for her to treat my DW the way she does, just as it is for me to treat her with contempt and lack of respect because that's just the way women should be treated? And is it ok to expect my DW to excuse me acting like a sulky disrespectful 14 year old when my DM is around because she is also a woman and should pander to my feelings in the very same way? Especially as my 3 year old DS needs to see how to treat his own mother and wife in time.

garlicbaubles Sat 28-Dec-13 22:33:56

DidyousDP - This does look very worrying. It's so upsetting when the person you fell in love with seems to change into someone different, especially if they then try and change you into somebody else, too! Clearly, this isn't what you signed up for. You need to make sure she appreciates her rightful place in a relationship, and assert your role too. This book will remind her of her wifely role - I suggest you both read it: "Wifework" by Susan Maushart. Good luck!

Keepithidden Sat 28-Dec-13 22:25:52

Forgot to say. Good thread. Made me think.

Keepithidden Sat 28-Dec-13 22:23:37

"I think I've settled with DH. I have previous of abusive relationships and similar childhood. I think I settled with DH because he treated me as human. I don't think I love him as a partner anymore after DCs arrived, not sure I ever did.

Our sex life is poor, he's inexperienced and we're both rubbish communicators. He withdraws when challenged and can be a bit passive aggressive.

I don't know how to regain my self and exit the situation I'm in."

Sorry folks. Bit down today.

DidyouseeEthel Sat 28-Dec-13 22:02:21

My dp would say;
My father died a few years ago and since then my heavy drinking has become my crutch. My dp is from an Irish family with a 'Get up, Mary, and let your brother sit down' lifestyle, and as such she has been raised as a bit of a man pleaser. We (men) are Gods, really, and definitely something that made her more attractive. However she started lurking on mumsnet about a year ago and since then my life has become intolerable. She now minds that I don't lift a finger in the home, I criticise her grown up dcs, I'm drunk unless I'm at work, I humiliate her socially etc. I swear she didn't notice before joining mumsnet, could she be turning into a feminist?

PrincessFlirtyPants Sat 28-Dec-13 21:32:58

Thanks AF good to know I'm not losing the plot!

Maybe I spend to much time on the relationship boards as they only seem to hang out here!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 18:50:25

well, kitty, I put this particular one in my 3rd category, so I wouldn't worry too much

take care x

shallowkitty Sat 28-Dec-13 18:48:45

I'm fine just now. this guy popping up just annoyed me, don't know what point he was trying to make.

fluffyraggies Sat 28-Dec-13 18:16:34

Given enough time and/or airspace the more moronic male posters show themselves for what they are anyway.

Just like folk of either gender in RL actually.

Vivacia Sat 28-Dec-13 18:04:10

I agree, I have seen a few posters declare themselves to be male, as though it's not occurred to them that quite a few of the regular posters are male. And not shouting about it.

I've also seen posters falling over themselves to welcome male posters.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 17:59:43

Princess I know the ones you mean, and I concur

They tend to be the minority though, as in RL, and pretty easy to spot for any woman with half a brain

If you tend to be of the manpleasing type of woman though, or one with very few brain cells you will be stupidly happy to see any man on here and make a bit of a fool of yourself

Have certainly seen that happen. There was a thread on here yesterday that took that to the Nth degree (now deleted)

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 17:55:22

I don't have a problem with men on Mumsnet. I like the posts of some men on Mumsnet. Some of them I have a little spat with (like I have with some female posters) and then move on. Others are simply no more than swinging dicks that like to tell women how it is,a nd those are the ones that don't last too long.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 17:53:46

and shallowkitty are you safe ?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 28-Dec-13 17:53:17

Lovemenot are you ok ?

shallowkitty Sat 28-Dec-13 15:32:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awakeagain Sat 28-Dec-13 14:58:01

Dw keeps saying she's tired/ill etc etc
Doesn't she know ill always be iller or more sleepy than her hmm

PrincessFlirtyPants Sat 28-Dec-13 14:47:43

The latter type were the ones I was referring to, Annie

I've re-read my post and I should have said Most men, IME rather than just men

I'm thinking of a few threads about rape recently where the male posters have been shocking, to say the least.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 28-Dec-13 14:44:30

The Mumsnetting men that stick around are often excellent. The seagull type (swoop in, make a lot of noise, crap all over the place and fly off again) are not.

PrincessFlirtyPants Sat 28-Dec-13 14:38:29

Maybe it's only me that notices them then!

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