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(31 Posts)
tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:08:54

Just been browsing fb and my ex best friend is dating the guy i lost my virginity to when i was 16 eeek. Dont often see her but my birthday coming up and she normally comes out with us for a few drinks this may get awkward... Im sure she wont have an idea i didnt know her 12 years ago when it happened.

Not sure if i should keep quiet or tell her. Theres no hard feeling with the bloke at all its all in the past just wondering what should do

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 08:36:36

As i said shes an ex-best friend now we still assosiate but more online now, i invite her because we still are good friends with mutual people. Its not that i dont like her its just shes a very hard person to deal with sometimes shes had a very hard life my so called dramas are nothing compared to what shes had deal with ive always tried to support her but she does herself no favours you have to tread on egg shells sometimes. And as mentioned she is a stirrer hence why i distanced myself some what a very long story

octopusinasantasack Fri 27-Dec-13 08:30:28

If you keep it quiet and it later comes out then she'll wonder why you kept it quiet and might jump to conclusions. He might say something anyway. I wonder why she is your friend if you are worrying this much what she will think? A real friend would not see it as a big deal unless you are still interested in him?

ALittleStranger Fri 27-Dec-13 08:29:40

What a christmas blessing that this is your biggest drama. If she mentions it just say, as others have suggested, "oh wow, is that X smith? I knew him when we were teenagers". I still can't understand why you're maintaining a "best" friend who you don't like though.

carrotcakeandwine Fri 27-Dec-13 08:29:04

I wouldn't mention it. For all you know, she may already know. I'd go along with "it's so long ago, who even cares about it?" Because really, do you??

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 08:21:46

lol thanks JOYSMUM youve hit the nail on the head.

I can assure you my life is not action packed at all, guess why i make a big deal out of silly situations. Ive only done about 3 posts on here which i think could be referred to as action packed :D

OatcakeCravings Fri 27-Dec-13 08:11:40

All you need to say is that he was your boyfriend when you were kids. FGS don't mention the virginity thing, it's totally irrelevant.

Joysmum Fri 27-Dec-13 07:55:10

I don't see why you wouldn't mention it in passing. Something like 'Omg that's a blast from the past xxx was my first proper boyfriend!'

The trouble with not mentioning things is that situations can change and then the fact that you haven't mentioned them can be deemed as lying by omission and grow into something complicated.

SillyMillyOnAHilly Fri 27-Dec-13 00:58:42

Blimey, your threads are quite action packed grin. I recommend cutting down on Facebook and avoiding any idiot friends.

I don't get why she would come out with you on your birthday if you are not really friends confused.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:42:16

Just because you are not good at making new friends doesn't mean you should hang onto the old shitty ones

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:40:30

Its ok, im not bothered. Im not good at making new friends tbh.

Think most groups of friends this has happened i know its not a big deal really was just a bit surprised.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:37:51

That was mean of me, I am sorry.

I would dump this "friend"

With friends like this, who needs enemies ....?

Who you have shagged before is nothing to do with her, your boyfriend or anyone at all other than you

In my group of friends going waaaaay back, I reckon we have all pretty much at the very least snogged each other (all went to school together). It's never referred to, and it's never a problem.

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:32:52

Im just surrounded by idiots i know. I dont socialise with her that much anymore anyway only the odd txt and fb but last couple years shes come out for my bday as have mutual friends.

I deffinately dont like drama i dont know think i need to let things go over my head a bit

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Fri 27-Dec-13 00:30:24

I don't understand why you socialise with her

she wil "kick off" if she finds out something that is fuck-all to do with her, and has "stirred" in your marriage ? So jettison her then. Simple.

you do seem to surround yourself with a lot of drama, going off your other threads, perhaps you enjoy getting yourself all worked up about nothing ?

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:29:40

smile I was just a little surprised small world isnt it. I do worry too much

namechange74 Fri 27-Dec-13 00:26:49

i understand - just tell her then, get it out in the open - good luck!

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:24:44

namechange74 - yer i know people in same boat and nobody cares, i just think if she thinks shes been kept in the dark then she will kick up a fuss

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:23:29

Thanks, its ok i will stop getting in a flap about silly things making myself sound an idiot smile

namechange74 Fri 27-Dec-13 00:22:59

My best friend went out with my DH for YEARS in their early 20's - means nothing to any of us smile HTH.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Fri 27-Dec-13 00:22:50

"And you sex life is anyone's business because...."
<<wide eyed stare...backing away slowly>>

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:22:40

JuneauWhoIAm - Yer i prob will say that thanks

No i dont care really just worry about her having an hissy fit about it

JuneauWhoIAm Fri 27-Dec-13 00:21:14

Who cares? If she says anything I'd just say, god it's so long ago does anyone care?

Do you care OP. Is it a big deal fir you?

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:19:43

Im just a worrier and i dont check her fb shes on my news feeds. Just i know what shes like she falls out really easy and shell be really put out if she knew. I wont say out else anyway its ok

Bearwantsmore Fri 27-Dec-13 00:19:42

I agree, I really don't see why you would need to mention it.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 27-Dec-13 00:17:47

If you're not close to either there's no feelings there between you and the guy & you're happy in your life and current relationship.

Why does if matter, why would it be awkward?

I'd leave them both alone & I'd also stop checking her fb.

tiamariaxxx Fri 27-Dec-13 00:17:25

Yes i agree reading back it does sound very silly and immature,

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