We separated four years ago and have a 6 year old daughter. ExH was abusive in pretty much every way to me, but particularly emotionally. I'm worried he's now emotionally abusive to dd but am unsure if I'm too sensitive to it so would appreciate some perspective please.
I posted the other day about him telling dd that Christmas is only on the actual day. When she's with him for Christmas we have it here on a different day. What he's effectively said to her is that if she isn't with him on the actual day then she just has to accept she's missed it altogether.
He said to me, in front of her, that she looked like'a rretarded special needs kid' in her school photo. He says I was being over sensitive when I pulled him up on it as she doesn't know what that means but IMO the mocking and disrespectful inference is clear.
He makes a point of telling dd all the things she's missed out on when with me, even lying about days out/holidays.
I posted the other day about him wanting to send her home from contact because she had chicken pox and he didn't want his pregnant gf to catch it. She asked if his gf could stay at her mum's round the corner and he said it's her home and it wouldn't be fair to ask her to leave. Dd said she thought it was her home too (particularly seeing as she was born there and it's was our family home) and he said she can't call it a home if she chooses to be with me most of the time.
He won't have her talking about her life here.
When she returns from contact she behaves bizarrely. Usually she chats nonstop and is hyper but for the first hour after contact she'll lay around not talking to me or keep hiding and spying on younger dd and I but ignoring my attempts to engage her. She becomes uncharacteristically clingy (usually extremely independent) even wanting to accompany me to the toilet and she cried when I asked her not to follow me upstairs as I was doing a quick Christmas job. Sometimes he doesn't see her fora month and she is nnoticeably a different child.
What do you think?
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Worried that emotionally abusive ex is now EA to our dd
8 replies
flummoxedbanana · 17/12/2013 23:19
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