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Ex boyfriend still contacting me after 18 months

(29 Posts)
Angelina7 Tue 17-Dec-13 14:23:55


I'd like to hear some opinions if possible or what you did if you have had a similar experience... My ex bf is still contacting me whichever way he can after 18 months of breaking up with him, I did break his heart admittedly, I was his first love & long term gf, we had bought a flat together the previous year & when I moved in with him I just wasn't happy as he was quite needy & needed cheering up a lot. Since then things have happened quickly, I met my current partner & we have a baby & are living together & very happy, however, my ex is still trying to contact me & it's terrible late at night if I get a text from him when I am with my partner as I have to hide it from him. Things with the ex ended horribly as he was so angry with me & became unhinged, harassing me, chucking all my belongings in carrier bags on the pavement outside my parents house in the early hours one winters night. I hoped before these horrible things happened we would remain friends as I felt our relationship had just turned into a friendship anyway but since then, with all that he has put me through & my current situation, it is impossible to try to get that friendship back, that would be weird and wrong. Sooooo ... What to do ... Carry on ignoring all his contacts & hiding it from my partner? Or block him frm my phone & email (if that's possible)? Or reply to him, or any other advise? Sorry this is long but it's really gone on too long now & causing me unnecessary worry when I have enough to do really without worrying if I'm being fair or doing the right thing.

Thank u & sorry!! Xx

Angelina7 Wed 18-Dec-13 01:11:06

bzoo, it's good to hear someone else has a similar situation (though of course I wish neither of us were in this situation!) you would think the ex's would be able to pick themselves up & move on by now, but neither of ours seem to want to. Sounds like your in more of a stalking situation than I am which must be so scary, I know the police don't appear to do anything but do keep reporting everything he does so their is record of it just in case you do have to call them on him one day, And stay safe, always let friends/family know what's going on too so people are looking out for u. I hope it all fades into history soon x

Dirtybadger Wed 18-Dec-13 01:12:00

I really think you need to tell your DP.

I understand why you're saying you don't want to, but if he finds out somehow (your ex could start contacting him, which would be awful) the fact that you haven't told him may look suspicious. Especially as I'm sure your ex, considering how infatuated/obsessed he still is, would tell lies in order to ruin your new relationship.

All you have to say is that your ex (I'm assuming he is aware of him existing) has started contacting you again. Tell him you're blocking all forms of contact, but please could he let you know if he attempts to contact him (new fella) because you'll need to let the Police know.

To be honest even if he doesn't find out if your ex carries on contacting you your new partner may well start wondering why you're being secretive about messages you're receiving and such. It won't look good.

Angelina7 Wed 18-Dec-13 01:57:28

That's true Dirtybadger, I didn't think about it like that, just thought I was saving him a lot of worry by not telling him, my partner knows things from earlier on in the break up, he knows about the ex dumping all my belongings on the street when I was still paying my half of the mortgage & he knows things that happened during the process of putting the property on the market and during the sale of the property (which took ages), I just haven't let him know that since the property sold he is STILL harassing me with messages. I'm not keeping it from him coz there are things to hide he just didn't really seem to want to know about my ex too much from the beginning, he had his own break up of marriage he was dealing with when I met him and I just don't want to complicate things more but I agree I should tell him he has started contacting me again and that I am blocking him so that it doesn't cause any more complications. Xx

bzoo Wed 18-Dec-13 16:15:04

The police never showed up. I haven't heard from them today. I'm sat in my home with the blinds closed and the doors and gates locked.

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