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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Walking In A Winter Sober Land!

(1000 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Mouseface Sun 15-Dec-13 00:41:16

Hello Brave Babes, I'm Mouse smile

Welcome to the 'Bus Of Fun' (now you've come of age!) grin

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, with a view to quitting or not... it's up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in your hands. And only you can make it happen.

Whatever your goal, you'll find support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking and those who fall off the Bus (arse over tit) will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY thread would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers. smile

That said, this Bus is happy to have you no matter what, as long as you can cope with chat of drinking, nights out/in, failures, cyclical drinkers, etc......

Everyone has always been welcome here and shall remain to be.

No-one is ever turned away. EVER.

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we like here -

1) - The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement

2) - Alcohol Fosters Inertia

The rest kind of happens as the posts appear.

I hope that's okay with you all.


And the original and real, truly heartfelt reason that we are here in the first place is HERE. A VERY SOBERING READ

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, honest and will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Mouseface Sun 15-Dec-13 00:42:41

By all means, baggsy a seat but please, stay on the other thread until it's filled and then come over here so that we don't leave anyone behind.

Thank you x

SocFish Sun 15-Dec-13 03:48:07

Bagging my seat on the Summer Sober land. Filling up the other thread for you too :-). Xx

guggenheim Sun 15-Dec-13 08:46:29

Morning all,

I've never been on the new thread this early.

mouse I had a dream where people kept saying the line about alcohol fosters inertia- shows how important this bus is to me. smile hope you and yours are doing as well as possible today. x

There were a couple of posts at the end of the last thread from babes who were really suffering and by this point in the lead up to christmas,the cracks in relationships begin to appear. One of the reasons that I'm not a big fan of christmas. I would urge anyone who is beginning to struggle with alcohol to look for some rl help as well. Please do try aa or SMART or counselling, if it all seems to be more than you can cope with. somehow sitting in a room full of people talking about recovery can just take the weight off your shoulders or sometimes just give you a night where you don't get pissed. There are people from all walks of life in recovery groups- police,teachers,professors,sex workers,ex homeless..
Booze doesn't respect your career choices much!

ma how's it going today? I'm going to check smoke alarms right now. Hope there wasn't too much damage to your house.

SocFish Sun 15-Dec-13 09:06:22

Hi gugg
It's so nice to have you on this bus. I'm battling so badly, but trying to keep my head above water and stay positive and focus on how fabulous my life is compared to 2 months ago, but all I really want is this daft festive season to be over. It's bloody hell. I will get myself back to AA asap. xx

spanna41 Sun 15-Dec-13 09:32:35

Reserving my seat smile waiting for Nuff or Ma to issue my ticket, hand out green opal fruits and a cosy blanket fwink.

Have posted on old thread to help fill it up.

I'm please let us know that you've found this new thread fsmile

Imdoingthis Sun 15-Dec-13 13:59:20

Just spanna and thankyou smile

Imdoingthis Sun 15-Dec-13 14:00:02

I'm on back seat if no one minds smile

guggenheim Sun 15-Dec-13 14:01:04

socfish keep working at it lovely. Getting sober and staying sober is a fab way to live life,not easy but a vast improvement on my daily drinking habit. 2 months is awesome - how about buying yourself a huge treat to celebrate that? Once christmas is over then everyone will be doing dry January and it will all get easier again.Hope you are having a nice day.

I'm we are all here for you. Please just let us know what is happening,even the bad stuff.Have you eaten today? Even if it's just toast? Get some crapola on the t.v -it's good to take your mind off what's happening even if that's just for 1/2 hour.

guggenheim Sun 15-Dec-13 14:01:55

Oh good- there you are smile x-post.

spanna41 Sun 15-Dec-13 14:17:02

Guggs wise words babe smile

I'm <trips over the xmas decs, climbs over the musical instruments and make my way to the back of the bus to join I'm> grin

Day 2 and feeling calm smile

Imdoingthis Sun 15-Dec-13 15:08:30

Thankyou so much for making me feel so welcome and safe guggs and spanna
I will keep posting it helps me a lot x

I am thinking of going to housing place to put in a homeless application I carnt stay here its the practical layout of house to its 3 story I have dc downstairs unlocking doors etc
Trying to get house in order for SW visit tommorow sigh
I took your advice spanna and cooked a dinner
I'm not buying anymore tommorow well I'm going to try anyhow

Imdoingthis Sun 15-Dec-13 15:09:27

Alcohol that is *

spanna41 Sun 15-Dec-13 18:10:12

I'm well done on the dinner front grin
Can you speak to SW about re-homing you and DCs? Might be an idea to write down everything you want to speak about. I always do this when I've more than one thing to speak about, otherwise I simply forget blush

Try not to buy anymore tomorrow, do Day 3 with me, I always find 3-5 the hardest sad Buy a big slice of cake instead or some yummy dinner for the family smile

<staying with you babe>

dementedma Sun 15-Dec-13 20:03:58

Climbs into sidecar with bag of green opal fruits, strands of tinsel and shiny triangle.
Has anyone seen Barrie recently?
Or thurso or Indie or purps or any of the other babes mia?
Can we have a festive roll call?

lookingforhope Sun 15-Dec-13 21:33:12

Hello all, will read back later, just bagging my seat and bringing mince pies for the week ahead...

Anneisnotmyname Sun 15-Dec-13 22:00:57

Evening all, grabbing my seat, I don't want to miss the bus now! I don't think I'm alone in finding this time of year harder but honestly I have next to no big nights out planned so it should be easy. Certainly not harder, but I use the excuse that 'everyone' is out having a good time so I deserve to have a least one or two glasses hmm

beachestoexplore Sun 15-Dec-13 23:18:52

<jumps aboard and into seat next to heater, leaving trail of snowy footprints>

Am not doing great at the moment but hoping if I keep posting then I will keep trying. It is so easy to succumb to the time of year and the idea that everyone is having a few...

Mouseface Sun 15-Dec-13 23:38:50

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Ma - I swear I didn't gnaw through your wiring and start that fire. I'm so very sorry that this happened, we've had the same issue here being so rural.

I hope that you can get things sorted on the insurance, but more than that, I am so very pleased that you are all safe and alive. Massive hugs to you sweetheart xxx

I'm - I've replied to your PM but am going to bed now, I am going to the GP tomorrow in the vain hope that he can help me sleep, help my brain switch off for a few hours each night, so that I may forget the pain, sorrow and deep, gaping hole I have seated in my heart.

Please read my reply to you, read it again, and again, and then reply. You've been so brave this far, keep going. Look at those around you who have achieved what they set out to, because of their will to do so was so intense.

Please I'm - keep posting and telling us how we can help.

I've spent most of the day in bed, with Nemo at times, without him at others, DH, even though poorly, has done the jobs that needed doing, all with little sleep himself as his illness is stopping him feel like doing anything, yet he walked the wolf, sorted the house, washed the bedding and remade the beds, looked after the boy, took him out to the park and the ducks, so I could rest.... Just so I could rest smile

I spoke to my Dad tonight, he found the card that my Mum had bought for him for Christmas. I broke down when he told me that. I went to buy cards the other day and looked at how many lovely 'To A Wonderful Mum And Dad' cards there were, or similar. sad

I had to leave the shop.

So now I'm going to bed, sorry not to NC you all and thank you to those who have kindly posted to me and said lovely things.

I know that sleep will heal the physical pain I have tonight, the emotional pain will only ever be healed by love and by time.

Be safe and strong Babes, if I can get through this without getting shit faced, then you too can see, or find a way forward.

Alcohol only numbs the pain whilst you are absorbing it, when you stop, the reality hits so, so very much harder, deeper, stronger and it makes you hate yourself for drinking as much as you did all over again.

I'm not judging anyone. How can I when I have taken a drink or two these last few days..... but I've not nailed a bottle of vodka, or 2 bottles of wine, or anything to take the pain away, the same pain that will of course be there at the break of the next day.........

So, as much as I know I could take to drink, take as much as I need to stop thinking coherently, as much as I fight the urge to pass out.... I have to carry on. Each day. For my husband, daughter, son, myself and actually, for my Mum.

My Mum wouldn't want me to waste my days drinking, each day blurs into the next as it is.

Life is hard, each day is hard. I have to step into each day with the pain in my heart, the pain in my soul and I shall. Without getting wasted to forget.

After all, forgetting someone I love so very much is not what I want to do. I want to love, live and carry on, so I shall.


Today, tomorrow, and always xxx

Isindebetterplace Sun 15-Dec-13 23:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isindebetterplace Sun 15-Dec-13 23:41:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soberisthenewblack Mon 16-Dec-13 07:37:18

been following this thread since the first day JWN posted.
Need to jump onboard as just following is not enough.
Day 2 smile

aliasjoey Mon 16-Dec-13 09:40:45


Thank you for setting up the new thread.

Thank you for all your kind and supportive words, for being here for each and every one of us, for remembering all our names and problems and issues.

Thank you for taking the time out of your own busy and stressful life to look after us.

You are so incredibly strong and wonderful, coping with pain and illness, heartache and grief; and I really hope you can give something back for you. I wish there was something WE could do to help. Is there anything?

I really am in awe of your strength... but please don't push yourself (we all know where that ends up)


aliasjoey Mon 16-Dec-13 09:49:17

Sorry I've not been around lately. Am just very busy and tired with work. A rather stressful day yesterday, usually I would have turned to alcohol but am finding it easier to anticipate and say NO.

It has made me think ahead to Christmas though, and am getting a bit worried about families etc (It was family that made me stressed yesterday) Basically, MIL is getting rather addled (and she drinks a lot, so maybe that has something to do with it!) and PIL has become extremely irritable and short-tempered.

DH thinks his dad may be in pain from some untreated health problem. Naturally, nobody will discuss it. Personally, I'd just say Why the Hell are you so grumpy get yourself to the doctors. And, I did pull him up on something earlier this year (he called my DD stupid, and I lost my rag! blush ) since then he has been a bit better, but I can see that Christmas will be difficult...

Mouseface Mon 16-Dec-13 14:59:20

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Joey - what a truly wonderful post! You made me cry happy tears instead of sad ones. Thank you. You asked if there was anything that you could do for me?

Just keep posting, keep trying and keep being YOU. I'm sorry to read that you're not really looking forward to Christmas, it must be hard holding your tongue when people are upsetting you or others, especially when you've gotten together for a supposed 'happy' day!

Try not to worry about it and just get yourself ready. What will be will be, all you can do is react on the day my lovely xxx

Ma - how are things with you? I'm in touch with Purple every day, more or less, she's holding my hand via texts which are really helping smile

Why - how is that boy of yours? I've not really read back or caught up as I'm desperately trying to get my 'Christmas' on ........ failing so far but I'm not giving up! Will you have him with you on Christmas Day? Oh I can't tell you how super pleased I am for you xxx

I'm - hey sweetheart.... how are things with you today? I hope the SW has managed to find you somewhere safe.... you are in my thoughts, this must be terrible for you, especially at this time of year. I promise you that if you keep going, keep trying, keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll get to where you need to be with your DCs; safe.

GP was lovely, he has given me some sleeping tablets just to help for a couple of nights.

He said I looked sad, I told him about my mum and how sudden everything was, he was really, genuinely sorry for me. Bless him. I think that's why he gave me some sleeping tablets, last night was another horrific night. I'm sooooooooooooooooo tired!

We talked about hydrotherapy and more physio, he said he can't help and that he's had countless people all complaining about the same department recently.

Not great but I am there this week so I can tell them that I need more hydro, and more physio. Fingers crossed, they'll listen.

So, how is everyone else doing? Ready for Christmas those who celebrate it? I have a giant parcel to send in a bit but the rest is easy as Dad is coming on Sunday so he can play Santa at that end!

Other than that, I'm trying to get things sorted, and wrapped etc whilst Nemo is at school. He's been having night terrors again sad

Ah! Better go and get him! Back soon xxx

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