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Relationships

Women watching porn

264 replies

OhGodAmITheOnlyOne · 11/12/2013 20:35

I've name changed and also posted about this in chat, but thought I might get better response here. This is 100% genuine. I occasionally look at porn or read erotic stories because it gets me in the mood. I don't know if DH knows, but I was wondering if it's common, if many women do? Or am I an awful person? Hmm

OP posts:
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OhGodAmITheOnlyOne · 11/12/2013 22:11

Anyone?

OP posts:
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fiftyandfab · 11/12/2013 22:14

nothing wrong with that OP...

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Annabelllll · 11/12/2013 22:16

Hi there, no u r not the only one.
I watch porn quite often. I masturbate etc.
I thought its quite common for us girls?

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OhGodAmITheOnlyOne · 11/12/2013 22:17

No one I know talks about it in RL...

OP posts:
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defineme · 11/12/2013 22:22

I'm not sure it's something you need to chat about in real life - I do think it's private!
I would say the same as I would to a man. Nothing wrong with fiction and nothing wrong with being turned on by watching people have sex-very natural.
However, the porn industry is a sick machine that exploits and destroys most of the people in it - I would honestly stick to the books because then you can be sure no one got hurt.

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Annabelllll · 11/12/2013 22:31

I think we r just used to men watching porn.
We take it as standard behaviour so to speak.
But I really think a lot of women these days watch porn too. I do. Always have. Dont see anything wrong with that.

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beachside · 11/12/2013 22:36
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PosyNarker · 11/12/2013 22:45

Well I'm not entirely comfortable with porn (certainly not the hardcore stuff) and wouldn't want DP to be a regular porn user, so I apply the same rules to myself.

Dirty books though - love a good dirty book. DP teases me often for my collection of naff vampire erotica Hmm Blush

I see images of real people and fiction as different though.

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optimusic · 11/12/2013 23:07

I am very open about reading porn. Have built up quite a collection over the years.
I don't see the problem with it. Its not just blokes that have urges, fantasies and like to sometimes take things in their own hands.
And yes my dp is fully aware.

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Rosencrantz · 11/12/2013 23:08

I do constantly.

I watched porn and masturbated this morning. DH is away though. I'd rather jump on him than masturbate - I just couldn't this morning and need/want to satisfy my high libido.

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feltpaperchains · 11/12/2013 23:10

Yes I watch it And masturbate as long as consenting ADULTS its Fine

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Leavenheath · 12/12/2013 00:37

If you watch it online, no-one knows whether the adults have consented or not, but there's stacks of evidence from women in porn that their consent wasn't freely given and any choices they made were coerced.

It's a matter for your conscience really, but at least make an informed choice and don't fool yourself that even amateur porn is always ethical, given that there are again loads of testimonies from women who've been filmed either without their knowledge or for a partner's consumption only- and then find their images plastered all over the net.

Huge difference therefore between watching real people sometimes getting horrifically injured on screen for your pleasure- and erotic fiction. Re. the latter, if you manage not to fall about laughing at the terrible prose and can get past how (like screen porn) male centric the stories are, at least you can be sure that no real people were damaged by the experience (although grammar pedants often suffer pain, it's true.)

Just don't kid yourself that it's okay and that every woman in porn is a happy, healthy consenting adult who made a free choice to have her sexual organs permanently damaged. These are real people and only the orgasms and pleasure are faked. You don't see the winces of pain, the stitches put in or the anal prolapses...

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Liberton · 12/12/2013 01:58

I watch it quite regularly...Nothing wrong with it ;)

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beachside · 14/12/2013 21:21

My personal favourite is amateur web cams, couples, singles, whatevers being exhibitionists in the safety of their own home.

And doesn't anyone else think is pretty terrible that OP had to name change to confess this deadly sin? The crime she commits?

Well done for starting the thread op, good on you xxx

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FluffyJumper · 14/12/2013 21:47

Yep

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Vivacia · 14/12/2013 21:52

How do you feel about the women who feel that they've been exploited by the porn industry?

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Leavenheath · 15/12/2013 00:15

And doesn't anyone else think is pretty terrible that OP had to name change to confess this deadly sin?

Terrible, no.

Understandable? Yes, probably.

Although I'd rather posters had the courage to own their views, I can understand why someone wouldn't want to be associated with supporting the porn industry. Hopefully as a result of this thread, the OP will do some research about the exploitation and the human suffering caused by porn.

I think a lot of posters start on MN with benign views about porn and then get their eyes opened by reading threads and links to all the information that is out there about abuse and ruined sexuality/relationships.

In a few months time, the OP might be glad she cannot be linked as the OP to this thread.

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SolidGoldBrass · 15/12/2013 01:30

Leavenheath: the vast majority of erotic fiction that sells today is written by women, for women. A lot of it is well-written, with good characterisation and engaging stories.
Claiming that it's all 'terrible prose' and 'male-centric' is so inaccurate that it actually undermines your case against visual porn featuring performers - it gives the impression that you think all sexually explicit entertainment media is a bit icky, and that decent people rely on 'love' to make sex enjoyable.

Oh, and OP - where have you been for the past 18 months if you think that women don't read or like erotic fiction and certainly don't talk about doing so. Does the name EL James not ring any bells?

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ItsNotATest · 15/12/2013 01:39

Can't be arsed to write a long post about it at this time of night. But in a nutshell, yes I do, and it's not something I'm ever going to apologise for or have any issue with anyone else doing.

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Leavenheath · 15/12/2013 01:48

It might give you the impression that I think all sexually explicit entertainment media is icky and that decent people rely on 'love' to make sex enjoyable, but that's maybe because you always give the impression that anyone who is anti-porn is a repressed prude, SGB.

Lots of people including me are extremely positive about having a highly erotic sex-life (with or without love), while also being against the abusive practices in the porn industry.

But you're right in that I've never read any particularly well-written erotic fiction. EL James is a case in point Wink. I'm quite prepared to accept there's stuff out there that's better written and isn't obsessed with male ejaculations and penetrative sex, to the exclusion of the female sexual experience. I don't have any ethical objection to fiction, either.

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SolidGoldBrass · 15/12/2013 01:53

I certainly wouldn't claim EL James is a good writer but lots of the rest of us are. And your post did seem to be telling the OP that reading erotic fiction was wrong, as well as watching visual porn (of which, again, it is perfectly possible to find examples which are made by willing participants and don't feature much, if any, penetrative sex.)

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ItsNotATest · 15/12/2013 01:56

I rather like penetrative sex - watching as well as doing Grin

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TinyAK · 15/12/2013 01:58

I watch porn but I do find a lot of it leaves me the cold. The right stuff however can be really erotic. I like to look at women, not men, but I would consider myself to be heterosexual and I have no real desire to sleep with a woman. I have never quite figured all that out.

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MistressDeeCee · 15/12/2013 01:59

I read erotic and pornographic stories. Most of them are written by women. I dont so much watch porn as I find visualising more exciting. It wouldnt bother me if I knew a mate watched porn though. Each to their own in terms of what floats their boat sexually, nothing to do with me.

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Leavenheath · 15/12/2013 02:15

I did say about erotic fiction that at least you can be sure that no real people were damaged by the experience so I'm not sure how I gave the impression that reading fiction was 'wrong'. Any more than reading chick lit, horror stories or Take a Break is 'wrong'. I don't suppose anyone's going to win any literary or journalistic prizes for it, but as a genre it has its place as long as no-one takes it too seriously or lets it affect their day-to-day lives.

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