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I had an affair

(54 Posts)
changedmynameimashamed Sat 07-Dec-13 20:15:48

Yes, I had an affair. More emotional than physical. No hand, blow, face jobs of any kind.

Sorry this is very long. . .

I met my Husband 8 years ago he swept me off my Feet, we got married and have 2 absolutely gorgeous children. One of each gender, have a beautiful home, nanny, cleaner, home help, Husband is paid well and we dont have financial issues.

My Husband goes out whenever he wants, receives text/e-mail messages from women. He goes out and has freedom. I however, gave up all males friends (my own choice), gave up successful work to be a Mother (which I now regret), am indoors most of the time, dont have the opportunity to go out as my Husband gets home at 9pm.

I rely on Wine 'O'Clock and joined an extra marital affairs website. I was invisible, ignored, unnoticed for 2.5 years. In my heart I believed my Husband didnt care about me at all. I got chatting to a man who is married, with children the same age as mine and was as sexually depraved as me. He filled a hole, was funny, sexual, affectionate, lovely and made me feel like a woman again.

My Husband suspected something and put software on my laptop & saw the randy conversations we had. We met up on 3 occasions and kissed, it was wonderful. He made me feel alive again. I want him now.

I dont want to leave my Husband however I cant stop thinking about the other man. My Husband frightened him off with a threatening e-mail about telling his Wife and contacting Divorce lawyers.

Please tell me what you think of my behaviour. I know I will get grilled here and in a way I want to be told how silly I am.

Bogeyface Tue 10-Dec-13 09:11:39

I'm good thanks CJel smile

I hope the OP isnt suffering too much this morning. In Vino Vitriol wink

cjel Tue 10-Dec-13 08:59:45

My goodness what a load of tosh!! OP you aren't happy with your H by your own admission. You were a cheat. that is no way to work on your marriage, It must be great being your dcs and living in such a wonderful happy family. FWIW I'm size 8-10 have had huge houses and fancy cars etc and was married for over 30 years, didn't cheat but found that 'working on it' was not always the only option.

Hope you are OK Bogey?

MistAllChuckingFrighty Tue 10-Dec-13 08:43:36

wank grin

MistAllChuckingFrighty Tue 10-Dec-13 08:43:04

Surprised to see that pile of swank still there confused

antimatter Tue 10-Dec-13 08:13:43

I hope you apologise OP!

jojoanna Tue 10-Dec-13 08:03:38


CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 10-Dec-13 07:38:49


Lazyjaney Tue 10-Dec-13 07:36:11

and batty....

LivingWellNow Tue 10-Dec-13 07:33:13

Definitely a baity OP in my mind.

VanitasVanitatum Tue 10-Dec-13 00:31:17

I thought the posters were mainly really supportive, including bogey! Pathetic way to talk to bogey change, shame on you.

CremolaFirCone Tue 10-Dec-13 00:20:27


bestsonever Tue 10-Dec-13 00:17:24

And yes, she clearly has 'issues'. Defensive and attacking like that

bestsonever Tue 10-Dec-13 00:15:33

If the op is so bitter about the life she has created so far, the answer is for her to change it. You have a nanny, so why give up work? Go back to it. Can't go out as DH back at 9? Get babysitter and go out anyway. Somehow you managed to get out to meet the OM 3 times so not all that housebound - "oh woe is me" is all this so change it.

pottytowork Tue 10-Dec-13 00:08:39

what a loon!

BeCool Mon 09-Dec-13 23:59:41

OP you have been very "silly" indeed.

BeCool Mon 09-Dec-13 23:58:40

Fucking hell - what a bizarre attack on Bogey!!

waltermittymissus Mon 09-Dec-13 23:57:15

You didn't even try to drag this one out.


Fairenuff Mon 09-Dec-13 23:51:41

What's the problem with saying you are unhappy in your marriage? You are unhappy, you said it yourself in your OP confused

EBearhug Mon 09-Dec-13 23:51:17

Have you talked to your husband? I can't see in your posts that you have. He's spying on your emails, you're sneaking about having an affair because you're feeling unhappy and bored and ignored. Does your husband know how you feel? If there's no communication between you, why should he realise how bad you're feeling about things? People aren't psychic.

If you have talked to him about it, and he doesn't acknowledge how you feel, or make any effort to discuss how you can both change things, then it may be time to call it a day, but I don't see that you've actually tried much communication so far, and that surely should be the first port of call.

MistAllChuckingFrighty Mon 09-Dec-13 23:50:26

Wine O'clock has certainly chimed in la-la land. The cuckoo has out-squawked itself.

scarlettsmummy2 Mon 09-Dec-13 23:48:52

My goodness, what a strange attitude the op has.

I agree with many other posters, if you are that unhappy surely you would leave or alternatively start planning for your own future to become financially secure in your own right.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Mon 09-Dec-13 23:48:24

((( Bogey )))

changedmynameimashamed marriage might be forever in your book but I assume your book also has some stuff to say about adultery. Either leave or make your marriage work. "Silly" is not the work to use and makes it sound childish and 'naughty'. It's not. It's sad, deceitful and ultimately pointless. Life is short and if you are unhappy, leave.

MistAllChuckingFrighty Mon 09-Dec-13 23:46:28

BF, that's a bannable offence. Hopefully HQ will do the required.

Bogeyface Mon 09-Dec-13 23:45:55

Changed thank you also for the equally offensive and vile PM, that too has been reported.

MistAllChuckingFrighty Mon 09-Dec-13 23:45:09

Somebody been on the wine ?

You want to knock that on the head. Drunken vitriol makes you look proppa minging.

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