Coping with a diagnosis of heart disease

[Superdooperal]

My spouse has been diagnosed with heart disease in the last few days. I am feeling very close to a complete emotional breakdown. We are both 52. We have only been married a year although we have been together this time around for 8 years and we were together in our early 20's. We don't have children together although my daughters have known T as a father figure for a long time and in the case of my youngest daughter for more than half her life. He, naturally, is finding it hard to cope with the diagnosis, though it could be worse, and I feel so incredibly sad and helpless. There is no reason to suspect anything untoward will happen soon and he could live a normal life span, but it all feels very different from a week ago. Anyone been through this?

[itsmeisntit]

What type of heart disease?

[Superdooperal]

Asymptomatic - I think it is mitral valve the Doc as hospital wasn't very informative and we are off to the Gp in the morning with a list of questions.

[itsmeisntit]

Keep calm, l have no experience of living with mitral valve disease but have experience in treating heart disease patients.
Obviously you both have a lot of questions for the GP but with careful management and the correct treatment there is no reason why he cannot live a full normal life.
How was he diagnosed?

[Superdooperal]

It was bizarre. He had a fall ( after running away from an angry bee) in the garden (I have a beehive and had recently stocked it with a swarm from local wild- and very grumpy-bees) and landed on his shoulder. He broke his shoulder but the injury wasn't treated properly at A&E and after weeks of pain he eventually ( after 2+ years of living here)registered with the GP.. They did a medical and discovered he had high BP & followed up with ECG which showed an abnormality. A referral to cardiology and an echocardiogram showed up the problem. I never thought a beehive in the garden could save a life.

[Twinklestein]

My father had mitral valve disease about 15 years ago now. He had surgery to repair his valve and he has been fine. PM me if you would like a recommendation of a top specialist and surgeon.

[Superdooperal]

Thanks. We are just back from the GP but he hasn't had the report from the hospital yet so he couldn't tell us anything although he thinks from the prescribed medication that it will be a medical rather than a surgical treatment.

[cuttingpicassostoenails]

My husband was diagnosed with heart disease five years ago. The effect on me was bloody awful! He had other issues too and I seemed to go crazy with anxiety and stress...not sleeping, worrying constantly about him, deciding how I would kill myself if he died!
He had always been superfit and strong both mentally and physically so it came as a huge shock for both of us.

Actually a diagnosis is a good thing. Your DH will now be able to access the meds needed to stabilise his condition so the likelyhood of a heart attack or other life threatening emergency is much diminished.

Try not to stress too much about it (I know how hard that is). Fear is a debilitating thing so be kind to yourself and to him.

We have had to change all our plans for the future as the things we were intending to do depended on him being very fit. We now have other, less demanding plans...but just as exciting.

It's bloody terrifying isn't it!

PM me if you want a chat.

[unobtanium]

Hi, my DH had serious mitral valve problems and after having it closely monitored over three years, was successfully operated on a year ago.

I can remember the horrible feeling of dread which came in waves, from the very first diagnosis. Then after that from the point where it was confirmed he would need an operation.

Please don't worry. Even if it gets to the point my husband's did (full mitral valve replacement and a ring put in the tricuspid valve for good measure), he will be fine!

Talk to all the doctors you know socially. They helped me a lot, saying first of all words to the effect of "no big deal" and secondly "I'm here for you any time you want". It was very comforting.

[lljkk]

It sounds like he has been living well with this disease for ages; the only difference is now you know about it as a potential problem.

[Varigatedivy]

I think you should try to be positive about this. A mitral valve problem is usually fixed quite easily with an operation. The good thing is it's been discovered and can be rectified. I think you or your DH however should nag your GP a bit to follow up the notes and get some reassurance sooner rather than later.