DP and are moving in together, and have discussed marriage too. I'm of the school of thought that says you share finances with your partner, and definitely your spouse. However it's second time around for us both so a bit more complicated I guess.
DP has a large debt to pay off. It was run up by his exW when they were married. He is paying it off as fast as possible, but obviously there is interest to pay on it too.
I have savings equal to the size of his debt. They don't attract very good rates of interest. Here's my dilemma:
Do we pool our finances and I effectively pay off his ex's spending?
Or I could "loan" him the money and ask for interest equal to whatever I could get from a long term savings account, which is way more favourable than the interest he's paying.
Or I could keep it separate and for the purpose it was intended for, which is dcs' education / foot on housing ladder / whatever they need. Ultimately DP earns and will earn more than me so arguably will put more into our combined pot over the years. My dc do not have a father who provides for them and DP will be 'taking them on' for want of a better phrase.
I absolutely want to share with DP - I think it's the origin of the debt that's getting to me, it's not like he ran it up studying for qualifications or similar when I'd feel much happier about pooling our respective debt and savings. FWIW DP hasn't asked directly or indirectly for a penny and doesn't know that I could pay off the debt in full.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Bringing savings & debt to a relationship - WWYD?
GromitAndWallace · 26/11/2013 18:45
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