I don't think I'm actually worried about the fact, just sometimes concerned what other people think of me having no friends. I'm somewhat of a loner and my boyfriend has also always been my 'best friend'.
In my 20s, of course I had work colleagues who I would go out for drinks with after work or similar, but even then nobody who I'd organise to meet up with socially.
There were three male platonic friends who I'd occasionally invite over to mine for the evening (I was quite a tomboy and preferred male company) who were all much older than me.
One was a psych counsellor and happily married, one was a bible basher, and one was a friend of an ex who I'd kept in touch with. There was definately no agenda from any of them and I liked the fact that with male friends what you see is what you get.
In my early 20s my younger (half) sister stayed at a house I shared with my cousin and I came home one day to find them in bed together.
The day before I had poured my heart out to her about how I thought I was falling in love with my cousin. We had been physically involved for a few months. It was a horrendous betrayal at the time and I wonder if it's clouded my view of women in general.
My mother was also physically violent as I was growing up consequently I cannot say in adulthood that I even love her. I admire aspects of her but sadly there is no affection or love for her.
I did make a new female friend for the first time last year. She was just my sort, a bit tomboyish and seemingly quite spiritually minded, but the whole 'together' rainbow triber vibe she was on turned out to be quite fake, as she was vociferously opinionated on other women she disliked, and her comments about the 'skanky chavs on council estates' one evening down the pub just put me off her friendship completely :(
She's a Reiki healer and mental health counsellor - I would have expected more open mindedness and tolerance from her.
Between all this, I went through a 7 year DV relationship with the father of my children. Fairly serious, with A&E trips and numerous police call outs. I walked out with the children 4 years ago and after a few years on my own met a new man who is utterly lovely and without a bad bone in his body.
Now my youngest has started school I am looking to return to work again so I'm sure I may find opportunity for friendship again in that environment, but to be honest, it isn't lack of opportunity, I'm not even looking, and am confident I can find friends ... if I wanted to. I just don't seem to want any friends :/
Is this sustainable, to have absolutely not a single friend? And do you think any of the past events described have stonewalled my attitude towards women in general? I'm curious to know. I have just never met a woman in my entire life who isn't two faced, backstabbing, gossipy and fickle. And I see how generalised that could sound, I know, I'm sorry.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I don't have a single adult friend. Is this unusual?
sharesinNivea · 21/11/2013 22:17
Well if you don't want any friends I guess it isn't a problem.
My friends are everything to me though and have been with me through thick and thin so I couldn't be you but it doesn't make either of us right or wrong.
Of course all women aren't two faced, backstabbing, gosspiy and fickle. I have many close friends who are absolutely nothing like you describe the women you have met in your life. They are supportive, kind, warm, friendly and generous people without whom I would find life very empty.
I have a wonderful DH too but he is not my 'best friend' he is my DH.
Open your mind a bit and you might find yourself pleasantly surprised to the possibility of female friendship 
.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.