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How am I ever going to feel alright again?

(16 Posts)
Repeatedlydoingthetwist Wed 20-Nov-13 14:32:41


My relationship has just ended. I feel like my world is falling apart. I've been with DP for a year and a half but managed to get myself pregnant and have DD who is 4.5 months old now during that time. Before I met DP I lived a proper single girl lifestyle, I had my own flat and was out and about all the time. I'd been hurt before and I had my defences way up. DP managed to get round them, I got carried away and I feel so stupid for letting myself fall for it all. We've been bickering over the last couple of months and he says that he doesn't feel the same about me anymore. I'd been nagging him because I was paranoid about a female colleague he'd started hanging around with but I've been diagnosed with PND and whilst I know that isn't an excuse I don't think it helped.
I'm absolutely devastated. I can't afford to live on my own so I've got to move back in with my mum again, and whilst I know I'm incredibly lucky to be able to do this, I just can't belief that the life I thought I was getting has crumbled so quickly.
I know I have to be strong but I can't see how I can ever feel ok again. I feel so hurt and stupid.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 20-Nov-13 14:41:40

So sorry you're in this situation. Glad you've got your family for support. You'll need a little time to calm down but few of us end up living precisely the life we thought we were going to live. We all have to adapt. You have your lovely DD from the experience, your exP will have to support her financially, and sometimes - like diamonds - people only find out how strong they are when under immense pressure. Wouldn't mind betting your PND symptoms ease off now that you' aren't living in a bickering atmosphere.

Good luck

RatherBeRiding Wed 20-Nov-13 15:21:24

This too shall pass. Don't try to look too far ahead - try to concentrate on the here and now. It's happened and you can't turn back time to undo it all and, anyway, you have DD so you wouldn't want to undo it all! A hell of a lot has happened to you in a relatively short space of time but just keep repeating - it's NOT the end of the world. In a few years you will probably look back on this time and think, Yes it was awful but I got through it and its made me a stronger person.

You may not have got the life you thought you were getting, but there's another one out there that you've not got to yet that will more than likely turn out to be far better.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Wed 20-Nov-13 17:09:06

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate your kind words.

Hope you're ok OP? Its a tough thing to go through.

Would it help to talk?

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Wed 20-Nov-13 20:15:46

I don't know?! I've talked to friends and family about it and they've all said the same thing which is that they think the pressure of being a new father and financial strains etc have caused him to freak out, but it's not helping me! I have been quite difficult to live with, due to my PND, but I always thought he loved me enough for us to weather the storm and get through to the other side sad

BitOutOfPractice Wed 20-Nov-13 20:18:20

Oh BigOrange I'm so sorry to hear you're going though this sad A broken heart and PND is a tough combination.

Lean on friends and family, try and live one day at a time, and be kind to yourself. You will get there even if it doesn't feel like it now

BigOrange I'm not sure that is helping, you're right.
PND is hard enough without the added heart break. Sorry for you OP.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Wed 20-Nov-13 20:27:46

Thank you all for your kind words. I know you're right and that in time I'll be ok but that just seems so far away right now

BitOutOfPractice Wed 20-Nov-13 20:29:16

Yes. I know that feeling and I know that right now you don't really believe it will ever be OK. But it will.

Is he going to be seeing your DD regularly?

Are your friends being supportive OP?
Are you managing to get out etc?

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Wed 20-Nov-13 20:35:04

Yeah my friends and my mum and sister have been amazing. I haven't spent a day on my own since it all happened. Yeah he's going to be seeing dd regularly. He's a good dad.

Good to hear BigOrange

piklepants Thu 21-Nov-13 21:08:07

You will get through this and you will have happy memories of your little one because the negative atmosphere will be over with. I agree your pnd is bound to have been made worse by situation. I was on my own with my first but moved back to my parents. I look back on it as some of the happiest days of my life as my family doted on my lo. If I'd stayed with ex I would have been so depressed I just know it. The right person is out there for u wen the time is right.

usualsuspect Thu 21-Nov-13 21:13:42

You will get through this.

I know it's a cliche but take one day at a time.

Trust me,you will be ok.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Fri 22-Nov-13 17:13:53

Thanks again for the kind words thanks

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