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Would you throw away a 10+ year friendship if your friend called your child the R-word?

(282 Posts)
EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin Sat 16-Nov-13 09:25:27

Might cause offence, sorry.

Last night, I uploaded a daft video of my 5yo singing the Fox Song. She absolutely loves the song, and i wanted to share it with my friends and family.

She has HFA and speech/language difficulties. So many of the words weren't clear, she was looking at the side instead of at me/the camera, sounded very monotone (except for the ringdingdingdingdingdering partgrin), was flapping her hands throughout etc.

Anyway, i'm under no false illusions that it was fantastic. It was just a 5yo girl having a sing song.

One of my friends was out at the pub at the time i posted it. She has no kids, nor do the others in my circle of friends, so i doubt this will 'out me'. She commented on it with this (i've fixed the spelling, because it was all text speak which would take me forever to type out):

"Fucking hell. What is this all about? She sounds even more retarded than usual lol (i hate that 'word' almost as much as the R one!). Get this taken down before Facebook remove it for child abuse reasons haha. Check her wee hands out. She's looks like she's going to fly back to Mars any second. Only kidding. But seriously has she been down the pub tonight? She sounds pished! haha!"

I didn't notice the comment for several hours. So it was up there most of the evening. I feel mortified. Lots of other people commented saying she had gone too far etc, but she never replied again. I removed it as soon as i saw it.

Anyway, she phoned me this morning to apologise. She said she was very drunk and it was supposed to be a joke. She said that i should know how much she loves my dd and that i'm seriously over reacting. And DD will be heartbroken if i stop them seeing each other etc.

Basically, i felt like the whole time she was apologising out of duty (not out of guilt) and was making out how much i was over reacting.

We've been good friends since school. We don't get to socialise much nowadays, however, due to me being the only one in the group with a child. But i text her every few days, and call 1-2 times a week for a chat.

I just don't know how to deal with this. I almost feel betrayed. I despise that word. And her whole comment was just vile.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do? She's keeps texting me stupid things like 'Hellllooooo, are you receiving me?' She's fairly immature tbh most of the time, but i think she's still drunk as well.

TheGonnagle Tue 19-Nov-13 22:01:20

Wow. Just wow.
Your dd sounds ace and your ex friend sounds like a difficult, manipulative loon.
Well done you!

BlinkeyBlimey Wed 20-Nov-13 00:23:01

Also 'wow, just wow'.

Well done for getting rid. She needs help.

CookieDoughKid Wed 20-Nov-13 00:36:01

Op have faith that there are decent people around who would never act like that if drunk. Its simply disgraceful. Let her be and you get on with her toxic behaviour.

ItsBiggerOnTheInside Wed 20-Nov-13 20:28:26

Really, really pleased to read your latest update and that you are not being dragged into backtracking by her old tricks.

MurderOfGoths Wed 20-Nov-13 20:31:17

She's a manipulative piece of shit isn't she? If she does self harm then it's her fault, no one else can make her, she has to decide to do it, and can't blame anyone but herself.

Glad you are getting away from her, sounds like life will be less drama filled without her!

GrandstandingBlueTit Thu 21-Nov-13 08:29:47

You've handled yourself with amazing maturity, Ewe.

I lost my Mum in my 20s, and I have to say that there is something pretty awful about using your own Mum's death as an excuse to be a total arsehole 4 years after the event.

I'm sorry for her loss, but this is clearly not about this in the slightest.

Don't let her manipulate you.

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 23-Nov-13 17:46:18

what a horrible manipulative friend

horrible to use the R word, against your dd and publically as well

manipulative to threaten suicide - having lost my dh to suicide just under 3 years ago sad, she is making empty threats as you said, to make you feel guilty - most people, tho obv not all, threaten for attention - those who feel that down/sad/etc just kill theirselves with no warning

glad you have decided to cut her out of your life and give your dd a special cuddle from me smile

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