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Is a proper kiss classed as cheating?

(96 Posts)
pecka Sun 09-Jul-06 11:11:45

This is not me btw for anyone reading that knows me!

I was out last night on a big day/night out with the girls. There were 6 of us and it was a real girlie giggle day with emphasis on getting drunk and having a laugh.

In one of the bars we were in we all had a laugh with another group of lads, dancing, carrying on etc just harmless. There was one amongst them that we all agreed was lush really good looking, glinty eyes, nice clothes etc. It was all just lighthearted but nice boy then made a beeline for one of my friends and they were having a chat and a little dance. This sort of continued all night in 3 different pubs (we kept bumping into them) until eventually I turned round and they were properly snogging. They did this a few times.

What I want to know is this classed as cheating?

Our group was a bit divided about it - 1 of the girls really upset, most of us not really sure what to think and a couple of us not bothered either way.

What do you think?

She has been married for just over a year and has one child with her husband (have been together about 4 -5 years)

WelshBoris Sun 09-Jul-06 11:12:48

of course it is

hulababy Sun 09-Jul-06 11:13:11

I think so and I would be devasted if DH was snogging some other women (and vice versa; so would he). Hardly being loyal and trustworthy is it?

NotAnOtter Sun 09-Jul-06 11:14:36

yes but kind of harmless... it was not pre meditated ...give her a break

geekgrrl Sun 09-Jul-06 11:14:50

yes, completely. Don't think I'd see much difference (through the red mist) between dh passionately snogging someone else or shagging them.

fattiemumma Sun 09-Jul-06 11:15:05

the true definition of cheateing is....would you be happy for your OH to do it?!

if not then yes its cheating.


i think this comes inot that catagory

Bugsy2 Sun 09-Jul-06 11:26:25

No, its not cheating, its just flirtation that got out of hand. A drunken snog on a big night out with lots of alcohol involved is NOT the same as having sex or even an affair with someone.
Having said that, it is probably not a very good sign & would suggest that the person in question is not as secure & happy in her relationship as she ought to be. However, very difficult to tell from the snapshot view we've got her.

cupcakes Sun 09-Jul-06 11:27:44

It is cheating.

Snafu Sun 09-Jul-06 11:30:51

Technically, it's cheating, of course it is. But it's probably at the lower end of the scale for most people.

I'd certainly be livid and upset if my partner did the same, but it wouldn't be the end of the relationship (probably). I assume she's not going to take it any further?

Cappucino Sun 09-Jul-06 12:13:53

of course it's cheating

trinityrhino Sun 09-Jul-06 12:14:48

definitely cheating

beansprout Sun 09-Jul-06 12:19:01

I think it is cheating and it is also about crossing a line. Being faithful is pretty straightforward but a huge amount of time and energy is spend justifying cheating, both low level and worse. I bet she wouldn't be too chuffed if her dh did the same?

Gillian76 Sun 09-Jul-06 12:26:03

Absolutely.

clairemow Sun 09-Jul-06 12:34:48

agree with bugsy. how does she feel about it today? not the same as having an affair with someone she actually cares about, but not a good sign...

trefusis Sun 09-Jul-06 12:45:38

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emsiewill Sun 09-Jul-06 12:49:35

Completely agree with trefusis. To be suddenly 'courted' after forgetting how it feels when you catch someones eye, is very intoxicating. Add that to the intoxication she was already under and you can see how it could happen.

Of course that doesn't make it right, and I also agree that the 'restlessness' that she obviously feels has to be addressed...

noddyholder Sun 09-Jul-06 12:50:20

pmsl @ glinty eyes

kama Sun 09-Jul-06 12:52:35

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sadandsickened Sun 09-Jul-06 13:08:47

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NotQuiteCockney Sun 09-Jul-06 13:11:19

Doesn't it depend on the couple in question? I bet there are couples out there who have an agreement that this sort of thing isn't a big deal. (Much like there are some couples for whom friendly flirting with someone else is ok, and others for whom it's not.)

For us, snogging would be cheating, though, for sure. Not as bad as an affair, but still not ok.

kama Sun 09-Jul-06 13:16:49

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kama Sun 09-Jul-06 13:17:38

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clairemow Sun 09-Jul-06 13:25:26

not sure I agree kama. If she is really regretful etc. does he really need to know? I sometimes think that telling the partner just releases the kisser from guilt. She shouldn't tell him if her only reason is to make herself feel better.

Rhubarb Sun 09-Jul-06 13:37:00

I did this. A long time ago when dd was still young I went out and got drunk. My dh was at home. Some bloke was making advances and I felt flattered that some other bloke could fancy me, esp after I've had dd, I suppose a part of me wanted to prove that I still had something, even though I was married with a child, I found it hard to let go of that carefree existence. Anyway, I ended up snogging this bloke. I felt really bad about it afterwards and I told dh who was devestated, but we got over it and it hasn't been an issue since. He has never ever mentioned it, he never uses it as ammunition.

It was a mistake a long time ago. I didn't see it as cheating and I suppose dh didn't either. But it was a silly thing to do and I won't be doing it again!

Everyone makes mistakes, I'd give her the benefit of doubt and encourage her to tell her dh.

kama Sun 09-Jul-06 13:46:16

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