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Other woman discussing relationship problems with partner

(29 Posts)
pugsandotherthings Thu 07-Nov-13 16:49:44

How would you feel about this? My partner has a fairly newish female friend who he met at work, they don't work together every day and he has known her about a year (fairly good friends for the last few months). He tells me that they seem to get on naturally well and have a lot in common. I was never particularly bothered by this and I am not friends with her, though I did meet her in passing once in the street. This was until last week when he told me that she had called him to get advice as she thought she had messed up her relationship with her boyfriend and thought he would tell her the truth as to whether she was in the wrong. For some reason this has set alarm bells off in my head as I feel it is just a fairly stereotypical slippery slope into more initimate conversation. I asked him were they that close that she felt comfortable talking to him about this and he said yes. I told him I thought it was a bit weird and he said that maybe I was just lucky that I had people I can talk to. I said it made me uncomfortable and I hadn't realised they were that close as he said they don't see eachother that much or talk that much outside of work, he then took offence saying that he struggles to find good friendships (which he does as most of his close friends are also mine) and maybe I could just be happy for him that he has a good friend, he then listed a large number of things they had in common and why they were friends and said that I should meet her and then I would realise why they are so close. I don't think he is cheating and he said he's upset that I feel uncomfortable about it, but I just feel that these things can easily cross boundaries without people even realising and for me the discussing of relationships is one of them. Am I just being jealous and a bit selfish, please be honest because we all need a slap in the face sometimes (metophorically of course!)

pugsandotherthings Thu 07-Nov-13 20:04:03

Fairenuff, I do like that idea of saying he will chat to me

Krystal5 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:51:56

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WeeMcBeastie Thu 17-Aug-17 00:02:55

OP I think you are right to be cautious, all of the women my EXH had affairs with (or tried to) were all similar friends he had these types of conversations with. He was also a complete nob but I'm sure there are plenty guys out there who are capable of having close platonic friendships with women. I have male friends with whom I discuss such issues and I'm certainly not shagging then and neither would it occur to me to think of them in that way, as far as I'm concerned they are no different to my female friends. I would speak to him again and explain your concerns.

maras2 Thu 17-Aug-17 01:07:18

4 year old ZOMBIE thread.

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