Hi. You may remember I posted last week about tipping points as far as emotional abuse is concerned : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1898105-Emotional-Abuse-what-was-your-tipping-point
I just don't know where to go next with our relationship. Our conversations last week ended with him telling me we'll just live normally together and he'll try not to get angry about stuff but basically if he gets pissed off enough he'll walk.
In the meantime we've been civil and occasionally he's behaved as though everything is normal but for me it's not. Tonight I've tried to talk to him again and work things through but while he says he shouldn't speak to me the way he does he is not ready to get counselling and I can't make him go. In the meantime our problems are jointly caused by my 'utter failure' domestically. (I wish you could see how freaking clean and tidy my house is!) He also said he is sure I will be portraying myself as the victim to people when it's not just about him.
I've said numerous times that I don't feel like he loves me or wants to be with me and he's done nothing to reassure me that he does. Yet when I said I thought he should move out for a few weeks to give us both some space he refused point blank. That was not an easy thing for me to say, although apparently I have now 'shown my cards'...
He also claimed that the main reason he is pissed off is because of my mum and I need to deal with her properly. She is a hoarder and has a lot of personal hygiene issues that I find really hard to address as she is essentially a nice person and I don't want to upset her. But he is just so horrible about her, when I would prefer him to be supportive as I get very upset about her as I know it affects my relationship with her. He no longer wants her in the house and says it is essentially this that is coming between us. I see her regularly but he doesn't. To be fair I know he is at the end of his tether with this as he's been trying to get me to do something for years but I just find it so hard and his attitude (which is basically that I am pathetic) doesn't help.
So where do I go from here? He won't do counselling, we are at stalemate and I just don't know if I want to be with him any more as he is. The nice husband is so far hidden now and I don't know how to bring him back. Maybe I just need to face the fact that he doesn't really love me anymore. But this isn't what I want. I don't want to take the kids away, break up our family.
I hope this makes sense. Am trying to keep it as condensed as possible. He can be such a loving person, I don't know what has happened.
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EA tipping points - part 2
8 replies
Stuckunderababy · 06/11/2013 21:20
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