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How to meet a nice guy?? Any ideas?

(35 Posts)
rubbishfamily333 Wed 06-Nov-13 11:20:42

So I've been single for a while, I have tried online dating and not met anyone I likes.

I am actually thinking there must be a way to meet men which doesn't involve online dating or meeting men in clubs?

After talking with a friend I said we need to go to places where men will be grin

The problem is how do we get chatting to these men if we like them?

We both feel that we don't approach the men we like the look of but instead wait to see if they approach us. And if they don't we don't bother then just get stuck with the guys that do approach us or online men confusedconfused

So any ideas where to meet men? And how to approach them without looking desperate?? grin

DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld Wed 06-Nov-13 11:40:23

Don't focus on meeting men grin seriously, fill your life with your interests and good friends. If you're clearly confident and happy in yourself, then you'll find them more likely to approach you.

I think you need to work on your confidence anyway. Next time you're out and about, start chatting to someone. Anyone, the old lady at the bus stop, the teenage boy working in the coffee shop, absolutely anybody. I did it because I was going slightly loopy from lack of human contact, and it did wonders for my self esteem. And I'm marrying a man who worked in my local pub! You never know where you'll find interesting people, so talk to anyone and everyone.

rubbishfamily333 Wed 06-Nov-13 11:59:46

I generally do speak to lots of people, all of my jobs have been sales based so I talk for a living really and feel confident starting conversations with strangers.

It's just that when it comes to men that have potential for me fancying them, I feel I never ever approach them!

showtunesgirl Wed 06-Nov-13 12:04:33

What are your interests OP? How about joining clubs that are to do with what you're interested in? That would be a good way to meet like-minded people and even if love doesn't happen, you increase your social circle making it more likely for you to meet someone anyway.

onetiredmummy Wed 06-Nov-13 12:06:25

Think about why you don't approach them, e.g. is it fear of rejection, or that you might look foolish. Once you know why, you can rationalise the fear & go ahead & do it.

I was brought up with the mindset that only 'easy' girls approached men & nice girls didn't (I'm 36 btw smile ) & I think that sometimes outdated ideas can stick around when the world moves on. Don't feel desperate, feel confident & go & start that conversation, if it doesn't work then fuck it, walk away & wait for the next one. Its not looking desperate to go & say hello, its looking like your'e a confident woman who grabs opportunities with both hands & many men will be so relieved if you talk to them instead of waiting.

niceupthedance Wed 06-Nov-13 13:15:02

I wonder this too - where to meet men.

FWIW, this is how I met the last guys who asked me on a date:
- at a gig
- someone who contacted me via Facebook after 20 years
- while meeting a friend for lunch in a pub (his colleague)
- online dating site

So still fairly bar/booze related. I'm not sure if the joining clubs thing works, but getting out there and talking to people does.

I would approach someone I liked but I would not do the asking out...

Lavenderhoney Wed 06-Nov-13 15:17:16

I met nice chaps before my dh

At work
At the local pub
At hunt balls
Out walking dogs
At art gallery shows
At antiques shows and fairs
One I chatted to in a bar in London and he came in and left his number with the barmaid and a description of me which she passed on as she happened to know me anywaysmile
Friends brothers at dinner parties
At rugby ( watching a team and drinks after)

Sounds a lot, when I write it downsmile

LineRunner Wed 06-Nov-13 15:21:31

I'm seeing my 'hot builder'. He originally came over as a friend of a friend to fix a plumbing leak.

MadeMan Wed 06-Nov-13 19:21:21

OP you're a salesperson so you need to start selling yourself (but not in a prostitute way) to these men.

When going through your patter, just replace the words double glazing/personal injury insurance/Avon cosmetics with your name instead.

Lemsy Wed 06-Nov-13 20:25:25

Re-route to another solar system.

Sorry, not in a good mood today smile

LineRunner Wed 06-Nov-13 22:03:08

Whassup, Lemsy?

Lemsy Thu 07-Nov-13 03:01:50

Hiya Line,

Poorly cat, rubbish family and boyfriend. Usual stuff.

LineRunner Thu 07-Nov-13 11:54:20

Sorry, Lemsy, sounds dismal.

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX Thu 07-Nov-13 12:01:02

A few friends, over the years met there other halves in saunas.
No nothing seedy, these were quite upmarket gyms attached to 5star hotels they joined, worked out or went for a swim then visited the sauna over a few months where they got chatting to the people in there. The latest one met her californian airline pilot boyfriend there.

PinkBerryGuy Thu 07-Nov-13 12:04:14

Take an evening class is a good idea.

From the get go you know you will have one interest in common. : )

SecretSix Thu 07-Nov-13 17:50:00

I met my DP at salsa class. There were several single blokes there and loads of single women My DP can't understand why all single blokes don't go as it's such a target rich environment!

LessMissAbs Thu 07-Nov-13 20:16:33

It works thus:

You put it out amongst your friends, in a slightly sighing way, that its time you found a boyfriend. Your friends mention it and that hot single guy you've always fancied from afar starts spending more time in your friendship group and things happen.

Or - you take up a hobby or sport, get quite into the hobby and forget about meeting men, are nice and relaxed when you do meet one you find attractive and get on with, and things happen.

SecretSix oh not not salsa!!!

MadeMan Fri 08-Nov-13 19:01:30

If there was a salsa dip and Doritos class then I'd be well up for that, but not the dancing kind; I'd look crap with Brylcreem'd hair and a ruffled shirt.

brokenhearted55a Fri 08-Nov-13 19:49:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unlikelyamazonian Fri 08-Nov-13 19:53:34

God everyone on here is so bloody posh.

Hunt balls? Art galleries and antique shows?

You must be taking the piss surely?

What if you're a single mother with no help? You're well fooked. as we say up north.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Fri 08-Nov-13 19:57:56

All the men on dating sites seem to be in the gym, so perhaps that's where to find one? hmm or

Bars (after work)
Nights Out?

Lavenderhoney Sat 09-Nov-13 10:50:22

Unlikely, not posh, but I was invited to a hunt ball by school mum friend to make up a table!

And art galleries are a nice thing to do if you are on your own and don't want to sit in pubs, - you learn something, it's good to meet people with different interests and I like looking at picturessmile

Oh dear, I don't mean to come across as posh, just finding different activities and widening my social circle. And it's usually free, and the dc like to join me and look- like a visit to the national gallery. Plus I dabble at painting myself a bit now, having been inspiredsmile

worley Sat 09-Nov-13 11:40:37

Beer festival.. Went to one last night and women were out numbered to men!!!! met quite a few different people here.. (I didn't drink the beer though stuck to my oj

flatbellyfella Sat 09-Nov-13 15:56:21

Find out where the local Clasic Motor Cycle club meets,usually in a friendly pub, most bikers are very nice friendly people, I am not talking "Hells Angel " types. Many of them will be single .

Lifeisforlivingkatie Sat 09-Nov-13 17:12:14

That's the million dollar question. I would say online is best, if you keep your wits about you.

You still need to go out to where the men gather such us

Sports events
Joining business net working events/groups
A friendly sports club with a bar (golf or tennis club maybe)

Good luck

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