Just posting as am really low after walking away from the guy I was having an affair with. Breaks me to walk away eventhough he admitted to me several times that he know's he's gay but has to be the straight father and be that way cos doesn't want the shit. I can understand he doesn't want the shit for his DC, I wouldn't but have all the evidence to just send to his OH to prove it but know I'll just destroy everything and have to finish myself off. I'm not a nasty person or evil and I suppose karma does exist being on the verge of a nervous breakdown and just not wanting to be alive anymore. Yes it was an affair, he called me his soulmate, the only person he could be who he truly is with, I kept him sane and from finishing his life before we got in touch. And no he hasn't messed about with lads before me I know that for sure. Just want all the memories to just be erased and want to hate him but it's killing me to not just wanting to message him. I know walking away is for the best just so much crap he fed me about him leaving when DC is older and scared I wouldn't wait around for him. Hope she's happy with him living a lie though I think she knows the truth just scared to be alone herself. He's made me question who I am so much, I thought I knew or felt comfortable being a gay lad but really I'm not so sure anymore and dunno what I am right about anymore. Just confused and need to go for good and that's a huge huge huge fear of not knowing what I'll do
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