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Is it just me?

(5 Posts)
Willthisworknow Thu 31-Oct-13 10:10:28

Does anyone else have trouble getting play dates for your kids? It fills me with dread but I need to get more kids around for them to socialise with. My 5 year old son has started school and he doesn't want to go to the halloween school disco in case he had to dress up. You think it would be fun for him to go but he actually did not want to go to school in case he had to dress up! He's only been invited to one school party and that is his best 'girl' friend from nursery (been friends with since day 0 as his mum used to be my bossI worry). There are about 75 primary ones so you'd think he'd have had an invite by now. i feel its because I don't know that many folks at school cos I work full time (main breadwinner and I can't give up work). I did speak to folk when I was on mat leave. But I never plucked up the courage to get play dates. A girl invited me over for coffee and I know I could ask her son round but her house was so damned immaculate shed have a shock if she came over here (my carpet is a state! Need a new one but dh refusing as we haven 15 month old). My house is a cowp! Did have a cleaner but she's gone back to full paid work. And I reckon I'd need to return the favour ie give her coffee! I also have another boy I could invite over but know that's difficult as her and her hubby both work full time and weekends are precious. Plus both these folk have other boys who they hang about with in their streets whereas I live in a village 3 miles away where I know v little (long story - but I was socially excluded from a baby group and one of them is my neighbour. Eg she invited all girls our age to her house and never invited me! Then whenever I saw them I felt 'awkward' as they didn't seem in a rush to speak to me but not sure what I'd done. Before I got preggers, we didn't really actively speak but used to exchange pleasantries. It's the same now even in the local toddlers group. This made me lose a lot of confidence locally).

I have successfully managed a couple of dates for my 3 year old but their mums are both full time mothers who understand what it can be like in these baby groups (the mummy mafia: the step ford wives clique). They haven't happened yet.

Banono Thu 31-Oct-13 10:20:43

Honestly, you sound judgey.

Mummy mafia, immaculate houses, stop trying to second guess people and labelling them.
Open your home and stop talking about stepford wives.

It seems that you are the one with issues about other parents, not them with issues about you.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 31-Oct-13 10:24:54

Seems its you tbh. You have a lot of opinions on others. Also your son might be picking up on your behaviour. It's also up to him to make the friends, you can't make friends for him. You can arrange the play dates, not the friends.

onetiredmummy Thu 31-Oct-13 13:42:56

Perhaps instead of playdates you can do other things? Your DS can start Beaver Scouts at 5 & 3/4, I think St John's Ambulance do a similar thing.

So instead of a one to one playdate think of clubs outside school.

My DS didn't go to a school disco until he was 7, & he didn't really like it so we are not going back until he wants to.

oliveoctagon Thu 31-Oct-13 13:49:04

I work full time but never met the mummy mafis or stepford wives. Just ask them round get friendly and invite them out when your off out. Think you are overcomplicating things.

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