Ex wife muscling in..

[Stupidhead]

I have a friend..no really it is her problem and I'm not pretending!

She's lived with partner for 6 months, they both have 2 kids each. His ex wife has recently split with her bf and now friends partner is spending a lot of time with her when he sees his children..and not answering phones or texts..as in, phone is off.

She'll try and talk to him but he'll tell her she paranoid and 'don't ask any questions and I'll tell you no lies' wtf? Oh and 'well if I do go back with her it wouldn't be a surprise to you' but apparently this was a 'joke'.

She's beside herself and I don't know what to do or say.

Any clever clogs here help?
It doesn't look or sound great to me, my recent relationship was totally open with no hidden nothing so I can't advise her.

Any of you clever lot gel

[Stupidhead]

Sorry, fat fingers on iPhone cocked up the last bit!

Any ideas? About her, not finger slimming x

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I think I'd be telling this partner to not bother coming back... If they've only lived together 6 months he's not exactly a fixture yet.

[MuffCakes]

I would say he's a cock and she needs to get rid of him. That simple really.

[Stupidhead]

Fuck. That's what I think in my head too. She's going all out making and organising his mams birthday party.

Why are they such cocks!?

He calls her at work and asks what she wants for tea or supper or whatever so other than this I think they're pretty close.

:-/

[CbeebiesIsMyLife]

What they said. He's not worth it.

[DevilsRoulette]

I agree. He's being an arse. It's like he wants her to feel insecure. That's not how someone who loves you behaves.

[Stupidhead]

Yeah. Feel awful as she's trying to comfort me and dropping all this too. It really doesn't look or sound good.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

They may be close but that remark about going back to the ex not being a surprise, if accurate, is pretty tasteless and seems designed to make your friend a little insecure. Is she the unsure type? Is she the type that's so grateful to have a man that she'll put up with anything?

[Stupidhead]

Yep cog, it is an awful thing to say even as a joke...

She is insecure a little, I don't know her that well, she seems more resigned as to when it'll happen rather than if.

He's definitely lied about being there when he 'wasn't'. And always seems unavailable when he should be.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

BTW... contrary to your title, I don't think the exW is particularly 'muscling in'. This man appears to be going along quite willingly and even exploiting the situation to his own ends. If it was a close friend maybe you could turn up with offers of , drown your collective sorrows and persuade her to chuck his stuff out of an upstairs window. As it stands I don't think there's very much you can do.

[MikeReepySpooksard]

He sounds like a complete shit. Why have you called your thread 'ex-wife muscling in'? The bloke may or may not be shagging the ex-w, but regardless, he's doing lots of other unacceptable things - nasty 'jokes', lying, being unavailable etc, why is your first thought a jab at the ex-w?

[YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan]

why is ex wife getting the blame for this asshole's behaviour? not one thing in your OP mentions any muscling in from her at all. why did you say that in the title?

[YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan]

xpost with cogito8 and mike*

[OrmirianResurgam]

Doesn't sound like his ex-wife is doing any muscling in - sounds like she's been invited.

[Stupidhead]

Sorry I was typing on my phone and trying to roll a cig, couldn't think how to phrase it so don't jump on me for that. I think he's a twat.

[IAmNotAMindReader]

At best he's playing games with her.
He cold also have restarted things with the ex.
Either way she isn't doing anything he hasn't invited her to do.

Your friends partner is showing her how much he respects her with this behaviour (not at all).

They have no children together she may be best voting with her feet. Who's name is the house in? How easy would it be for her to relocate?

Sounds like he's warming up for leading her a merry dance whether each situation is innocent or not. So he's going to gaslight her... well he already is by saying in one breath she's paranoid and the next being secretive with the ask me no questions shit.

[Stupidhead]

Interesting my exh gas-lighted me. It does sound similar. She's a colleague so i don't know her too well, just aware of this and she'll ask my advice - like I know!?!? I've spent the week with eyes like pissholes in the snow from my breakup! Argh! Why do they do this?

His mum, who's party is this weekend, is 70 and her partner of 25 yrs has just walked.

I can't see this being happy ever after :-/

[IAmNotAMindReader]

*Whose

[YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan]

well obviously you were thinking it OP or you wouldn't have typed it. it's not like a spelling error because you were distracted.

[YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan]

if you don't know her that well why are you posting all this stuff about her online? does she know you are asking this here?