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Relationships

A story for those people who've been left for another woman....

9 replies

jonicomelately · 25/10/2013 02:30

I met a lovely old lady (LOL) in a very long queue at a supermarket cafe today. Being Northern we got chatting, to pass the time. LOL a tiny, twinkly eyed octogenarian with a purple-tinged permanent set told me she'd been married for 25 years; her husband passed away 11 years ago. Whilst 25 years is obviously a long time, I think she felt obliged to explain how she'd been married before, to husband number one, who's also now passed away...

She'd started a job in a care home which required her to sleep over one night a week. It was the early nineteen seventies and she must've been in her forties. That, she told me, was where the problems started. Husband number one took that as a sign to 'do what he wanted' and he subsequently ran off with a woman from the office Sad I protested and said that it hadn't been her fault and she sort of agreed but she said, she wasn't really bothered now. One day she went to a friend's house who suggested she should get together with a neighbour. She duly met the neighbour and 'hit it off.' They had to wait three years for the divorce, but they married as soon as they were able and were really happy Smile

The thing is, she chuckled, she sees the OW, in the cafe every Wednesday. She has 'hair as black as coal, so I think she dyes it' LOL told me. Given that OW is 79 I agreed she probably does. 'The funny thing is' LOL told me is that OW 'always gives me daggers! I feel like reminding her it was her who ran off with MY husband. The cheek of the woman.' LOL says that one day she's going to tell OW thanks for doing her a massive favour. I really hope that she does Grin I said to her that the best revenge is to live well. I don't think she'd ever heard that phrase before but she agreed that it was. We speculated why the OW gave her daggers. Maybe every time they argued OW worried that first husband wished he'd stayed with LOL. 'Who knows' she said and she shrugged. Then chuckled again.

I've never been in her position. It must've been really tough for her. She never had children. Nor did the OW and LOL said she thinks it was first husband not her who 'had the problem' because LOL got pregnant (but sadly miscarried) with her second husband. I really wish any of those posters who come on her and tell us their stories of selfish and feckless partners who trample on their hearts and rip apart families, often without warning, could meet LOL and listen to her story, but given that's unlikely, I hope I've done her story justice Smile

I'm really tempted to go back to the cafe on Wednesday and see if LOL does ever tell the OW that she did her the 'biggest favour of her life'

Smile

OP posts:
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Rummiwerewolfkub · 25/10/2013 02:36

Ah I liked that story. Little old lady sounds like a cool character.

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MooseBeTimeForSnow · 25/10/2013 02:37

:)

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Lweji · 25/10/2013 06:07

Maybe you could tell her. :)

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/10/2013 06:18

I feel the same as your old lady funnily enough. I don't ever cross paths with our OW to experience the daggers business but I do have enough vivid memories of my exH's miserable personality and bad behaviour to feel quite satisfied that I was the winner when he walked out. Didn't feel like that at the time, of course, (20 years ago now) but time is a great healer.

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jonicomelately · 25/10/2013 08:54

I could tell her I suppose but I don't think it's for me to interfere.

Cogito You have a very similar story I guess Smile

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HangingGardenOfBabbysBum · 25/10/2013 08:59

Lovely!

I met a LOL at a bus stop last year and she said when her husband left her in the 1960s, she bought herself a motorbike and became an art teacher.

She let her daughters go out with mechanics so she could keep her bike in good nick, but she encouraged them to live a lot before they married.

She had just been to buy christening presents for her twin GGC who live in Canada AND was planning to make the trip to meet them.

It made smile for months.

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dippingmytoeinagain · 25/10/2013 09:06

Smile How lovely - thanks for sharing Smile

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jonicomelately · 25/10/2013 10:54

Your LOL sounds wonderful too HangingGardens

I wonder if we're all guilty of thinking we're the only generation who've ever had these problems?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/10/2013 11:00

Absolutely we are. :) Infidelity is as old as the hills and sex wasn't invented in the sixties. I remember seeing a terrific documentary entitled something like 'What did you do in the war granny?'... and, not knowing if they would be dead tomorrow, they were all at it like rabbits!!! The most unshockable person I ever knew was in her nineties when I met her. Get to that age and I think you must have seen it all, done it all and had more t-shirts than Sheldon Cooper.

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