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relationship problem

(29 Posts)
wantanewname Wed 23-Oct-13 21:47:51

I hope someone can help me. I have net a wonderful kind and intelligent man after being a single parent for ten years. We have been together now for 18 months. We get on really well, can talk about anything, he's great with my son and we're good together in bed. But there are problems

he has a very demanding job and 4 children who spend 50 % of the time with him. He was very cautious initially about me spending much time with his children and although I now stay at his whit his children there this is only recent. He is only just getting divorced despite separating 8 years ago. He was worried how his ex would react as she is catholic. Everything seems to make me feel needy as he is always cautious of the next step.

We spent a week together last Christmas as his children were away. This year he will have them (they are all teenagers and finding us) and it seems that our relationship is moving backwards as he is planning what they will all be doing rather than thinking of me and my son as well.

We've talked about moving in together im around a year but I feel sick of being the one always pushing for more. At the moment he stays with me once or twice a week and we sometimes meet up with the children at the weekend.

We are both in our mid forties and I do believe he loves me as I do him but I'm finding this one sided and getting sick of wanting more than seems to.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 23-Oct-13 22:39:36

If you've talked then there's nothing wrong with cooling it. It's sad but, if he's not right, he's not right.

Coolforcatz Wed 23-Oct-13 22:42:54

Tell him what you've written on here, say you can't carry on like this.

wantanewname Wed 23-Oct-13 22:46:25

I'm supposed to be seeing him tomorrow. We see each every Thursday. The way I feel I don't want to but if I don't it'll be another week before we spend the night together again so I feel I'll regret it if I don't .

wantanewname Wed 23-Oct-13 22:48:03

Yes but I feel I'm always telling him and he's always conceding a bit. Maybe a letter would spell hit out I think he'd respond to that.

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