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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

MY NEW BOYFRIEND'S EX WIFE WANTS HIM BACK

105 replies

ANNETTE5355 · 17/10/2013 19:32

I a guy a month ago and we still getting to know each other and now his ex wife who has been divorced from for 5 years (they have not been speaking much) wants him back,they have a 11 year old daughter together. They got divorced because she cheated on him and had another man's child. He told me on saturday and will be making his decision by the end of this week, he feels very bad for putting this on me and wants to do what is right for his daughter. I have been understanding and supportive up to now and listened, he has still been txting and ringing me everyday since she asked him.what do I do, how do I treat him, I have just been myself and not been any different and still laugh and joke and we able to talk about anything. He seems very confused.

OP posts:

Report

Redtartanshoes · 17/10/2013 19:35

Make it easy for him. Tell him to get fucked.

itsmeisntit · 17/10/2013 19:35

Let him go. Cut contact don't wait around for someone to decide wheither they want to be with you or not.
You are worth more than this

SoleSource · 17/10/2013 19:37

That old chestnut. Either he is using it as a get out clause to leave you or he is already seeing her.

Either way make the decision for him and lick the dirtbag to the kerb.

Cut all contact and never treat yourself like that again x

gamerchick · 17/10/2013 19:38

Dump him... deciding at the end of the week indeed. How dare he!

MsWinnieBaygo · 17/10/2013 19:39

Eh, deciding at the end of the week?? Tell him that you're not an option and he can save himself the decision. Cheeky fecker.

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2013 19:41

Make the decision for him and save your self respect.

Are you seriously sitting by the phone whilst some bloke you hardly know decides who gets the Golden Prize That Is Him ?

Tell him to go fuck himself

JaceyBee · 17/10/2013 19:42

Wow 5 years is a long time for her to change her mind suddenly! Are you the first woman he's been with in that time (that she knows of)?

Xales · 17/10/2013 19:42

If he needs to take a week to decide between you and a woman who cheated on him, had another man's child (who I guess is there for his child so will always be involved), who he has not been speaking to much and then out of the blue says she wants him back he doesn't think very highly of you.

Tell him you don't need a week and goodbye.

It's only been a month consider it well worth it to get rid.

tribpot · 17/10/2013 19:42

Is he having a laugh? Expecting to carry on seeing you whilst he decides if he's leaving you for his ex? Fuck that for a game of soldiers! I'd kick him to the kerb rather than lick him there as SoleSource suggests :) but get him there one way or another!

KatieScarlett2833 · 17/10/2013 19:43

Dear God, tell the arrogant cunt to take a hike.

flippinada · 17/10/2013 19:43

He has a very high opinion of himself, doesn't he?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/10/2013 19:43

So you are the reserve partner sitting waiting on the subs bench in case the relationship with the ex doesn't work out?

PoppadomPreach · 17/10/2013 19:44

The fact he is even considering it means you absolutely need to tell him to piss off. He's being a prick.

PopcornGrace · 17/10/2013 19:46

He has set himself up as the prize. Go on a date with someone else. Forget him.

Leverette · 17/10/2013 19:47

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ANNETTE5355 · 17/10/2013 19:48

no, I am not the first, he previously was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years after the divorce who wanted him to go back to her country and start a family and leave him daughter behind, so he broke up with her and now we have met on "eharmony", I just feel why did he put himself on a matching website if he is not sure if the past is the past, I do feel why do I have to go threw this, but also wanted to trust him and give it a chance, it does bug me why he is even considering going back, but i did not want to add extra stress to the stress he has to deal with now.

OP posts:

KatieScarlett2833 · 17/10/2013 19:50

Annette, how can I say this kindly.
What fucking stress?
He's like a dog with two dicks.
You have known this douche for 4 weeks.
Where is your self respect in all this?

Putitonthelist · 17/10/2013 19:51

So he's thinking about getting back with the woman who cheated on him and had another man's child?? That's your competition? I couldn't actually think of anything more insulting!!

Text him now and tell him you've made the decision easier for him. What a prick. Lucky escape there OP.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/10/2013 19:51

What a pack of lies! My guess is that there is no girlfriend back in her own country and that you're just the latest in a series of affairs. He gives everyone a few weeks then pulls the 'my wife wants to try again' trick when he's had enough.

I smell excrement of the bovine variety....

PopcornGrace · 17/10/2013 19:55

He likes having you as an option. Great book by Pat Allen called 'Getting to I do"

He thinks he has control of the situation with 2 women after him- keeps you dangling with 'confused' and 'stressed' man

See yourself as the prize - not him. Move on and forget him (more difficult if you've already started sleeping with him)

Leverette · 17/10/2013 19:57

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TwerkingNinetoFive · 17/10/2013 19:57

Ltb.

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Leverette · 17/10/2013 19:57

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YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 17/10/2013 19:59

another vote for its all lies. he is breaking it to you 'gently' and is going to dump you. he wants to make it 'noble'.

sorry.
but on the other hand this is a very odd thing to do and you are sooooo much better off without him.

C0ffeeN0biscuit · 17/10/2013 20:01

omg, bovine excrement indeed. Tell him it turns out, his wife hired you and you're a private detective. Watch his blood run cold.

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