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(106 Posts)
ANNETTE5355 Thu 17-Oct-13 19:32:50

I a guy a month ago and we still getting to know each other and now his ex wife who has been divorced from for 5 years (they have not been speaking much) wants him back,they have a 11 year old daughter together. They got divorced because she cheated on him and had another man's child. He told me on saturday and will be making his decision by the end of this week, he feels very bad for putting this on me and wants to do what is right for his daughter. I have been understanding and supportive up to now and listened, he has still been txting and ringing me everyday since she asked him.what do I do, how do I treat him, I have just been myself and not been any different and still laugh and joke and we able to talk about anything. He seems very confused.

C0ffeeN0biscuit Thu 17-Oct-13 20:01:38

omg, bovine excrement indeed. Tell him it turns out, his wife hired you and you're a private detective. Watch his blood run cold.

Lavenderhoney Thu 17-Oct-13 20:02:18

Sort yourself out to be busy tomorrow night, all weekend with friends.

Text him and tell him not to bother you again. What a lucky escape!

I had a bf like this once. I listened in amazement, realised what he was asking and ran away, literallysmile just caught some friends at the local before they went home and clarified he was a twunt. Whatever is happening in his life, you are best out of it!

Dahlen Thu 17-Oct-13 20:06:17

Wow. Even assume he's telling you the truth about this (of which I'm doubtful) any man who thinks it's a good idea to get back with his XW for the sake of their daughter after 5 years of being divorced should be dumped on the grounds of being completely stupid.

frustratedashell Thu 17-Oct-13 20:06:25

Yes I agree with all that's been said!

pictish Thu 17-Oct-13 20:11:05

He'll let you know by the end of the week??!!

Wtf is your dilemma here? As soon as I became any man's 'maybe' they could get to fuck!
Never make someone a priority if they'll only make you an option.
4 weeks in??
Self respect - get some!

29chapel Thu 17-Oct-13 20:12:48

Tell him to poke it.

summerbreezer Thu 17-Oct-13 20:13:07

Annette, I would strongly suggest you do two things:

1) Dump him.

2) Ring a counsellor and go and find out why you believe someone else's happiness is more important than your own.

I know, from bitter experience, that you will not form a decent relationship with a good man until you deal with your own issues. Good luck.

ANNETTE5355 Thu 17-Oct-13 20:13:12

Thank you all for your support, I am a honest, true, genuine person with so much to give and now this happens to me, his loss, I am going to txt him tomorrow and tell him I am not prepared to play second fiddle to his ex wife, he told me honesty is number one to him ???????

ScaryFucker Thu 17-Oct-13 20:14:07

Tell him now. What are you waiting for ?

KatieScarlett2833 Thu 17-Oct-13 20:14:56

Exactly that. Why wait?

Bogeyface Thu 17-Oct-13 20:16:16

Yep, I think he is lying too.

Chuck this one back.

IComeFromALandDownUnder Thu 17-Oct-13 20:16:55

Honestly Annette he is so not worth it. He is not going to choose you. If he was he would not need a week to think about it. Why are you acting all sweetness and light when he calls? Tell him to get lost tonight.

Dahlen Thu 17-Oct-13 20:18:04

The fact he's put you in this position is not because you're not good enough Annette it's because he's a twat. You could look like a supermodel, have the brain of Steven Hawking and the temperament of Mother Theresa and he'd still treat you like this because he's a fuckwit.


CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 17-Oct-13 20:18:18

She's not his 'ex' wife. There's no other man's child, no five year divorce etc... Text him that you've done some digging, know the truth about him and you'll be going public & talking to his wife tomorrow. (Or something similar) Make the cheating bugger sweat.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 17-Oct-13 20:20:03

Hmm - would you want him to go back to your country if you stayed together?

SoleSource Thu 17-Oct-13 20:20:05

Yeah kick not lick lol sorry.

Text, do.not wait for a reply, block his number, email, FB , yahoo messenger, MSN etc

Feel smug he knows you know he is a cunting LIAR!

IComeFromALandDownUnder Thu 17-Oct-13 20:20:14

I suspect the same Cognito. Have you been to his house? Met any friends/family?

BUT even if he is telling you the truth dump him!!

ANNETTE5355 Thu 17-Oct-13 20:37:03

yes been to his flat, he works away all week end comes back to his flat on friday's, believe me a lot have thought have been playing on my mind about what is really going on, but I fell for the guy (I do not easily fall for someone) and wanted to give him a chance, can not believe this has happened to me !!!!!!!!!!!

ScaryFucker Thu 17-Oct-13 20:38:49

What are you going to do about it ? Carry on waiting by the phone ?

ScaryFucker Thu 17-Oct-13 20:39:20

You have been well and truly scammed, love. I hope you learn from this.

AmberLeaf Thu 17-Oct-13 20:45:28

Sounds like a crock of shit from a man who is married/in a long term relationship.

PeppermintPasty Thu 17-Oct-13 20:47:32

I love you lot grin

Kick him to the kerb, the cheeky bastard.

Vivacia Thu 17-Oct-13 20:49:17

You have been well and truly scammed, love. I hope you learn from this.

That's a bit harsh and unfounded. Makes it sound as though the OP's been naive and stupid which I don't think she has.

ScaryFucker Thu 17-Oct-13 20:50:28

I do. Until she came on here, she was waiting by the phone for this fuckwit to choose her.

There's gotta be a lesson to learn from that, surely ?

FolkGirl Thu 17-Oct-13 20:56:10

Step away from the man!

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