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Can she really be that happy?

(208 Posts)
neiljames77 Sun 06-Oct-13 16:08:17

I am married with 2 kids. I work in a factory and a woman in the office has been flirting and suggestive with me. She has a husband and young family and appears to be really happy with her set up. She wants us to go out for a drink but I've just laughed it off and told her to behave herself. I'm asking on this site because the forum I usually go on is 99% male and you can take a guess at what their responses have been. I am asking what to do on here because I believe I'll get more sensible answers. What can I do to let her know that I'm not interested without offending her and why is she behaving like this if she seems so happy?

Lucca22 Mon 14-Oct-13 19:01:38

Oh no......there it is, silly me. Yeah anyway, say that - it works every time!

DeathStar Mon 14-Oct-13 17:25:16

"Dating other people" casually or otherwise, should stop after marriage/joining the Galactic Empire - that includes hanging out with workmates permitting speculation and nasty gossip to start, which could do damage to your own happiness.

Lucca22 Mon 14-Oct-13 17:23:32

......and why has my post been taken off? Strange people about.

Lucca22 Mon 14-Oct-13 17:19:17

It's a dirty little set up........just bored people with hmmm to do.

swallowedAfly Mon 14-Oct-13 16:45:09

no trust issues and presumably no concern that your husband is hanging out on mumsnet talking about issues he doesn't talk to you about and subtly insinuating you're an irrational psycho who might 'kick off' if he communicated with you.

kinda like a half decent relationship then insultingbadger grin would def prefer your marriage to the ops.

InsultingBadger Mon 14-Oct-13 15:52:51

This happened to my dp, he told me, we laughed about it, he told her he wasn't interested, then we nick named her his girlfriend! No trust issues here, it was all done and dusted fairly quickly and with good humour. Just be tactful and honest.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 14-Oct-13 10:07:02

Lovely advice but wrong thread?

Sunnysummer Mon 14-Oct-13 10:06:59

Oops, totally wrong thread! Will get removed blushblushblushblushblush

Ps she's not that happy but agree that staying away is the best plan.

Sunnysummer Mon 14-Oct-13 10:05:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheatus Mon 14-Oct-13 09:35:26

I think you should leave the bastard.

AnyFucker Mon 14-Oct-13 08:36:42

Must preview

Neil sure likes that mud

AnyFucker Mon 14-Oct-13 08:36:12

Yes, John, Neil sites likes that mid, don't he ? hmm

Fairenuff Mon 14-Oct-13 08:24:52

Yes, there is no reason for you not to go to the Christmas do.

You have told the woman you're not interested. You have told your wife that the woman is a pain.

Provided that you know for sure you are not going to 'accidentally' get involved in any way, then you should go if you want to.

This woman, or any other woman, can make a play for you if she wants, it doesn't mean that you will reciprocate. You are in charge of your own mind and body.

CanadianJohn Mon 14-Oct-13 06:29:16

Neil, you have to remember that debating with some posters on Mumsnet is like mud wrestling with a pig. You both get covered with mud—and the pig likes it.

TheFabulousIdiot Sun 13-Oct-13 21:52:06

I would still go on the Christmas do, if you wanted to that is.

Chandra Sun 13-Oct-13 20:48:42

Neil, you have done the right thing, you have told your wife, you were clear about your intentions (or lack of). You both had agreed on a plan of action.

There's no need to convince anyone here about anything. Switch mumsnet off. And go and have a good rest. Tge problem is solved. :-)

AnyFucker Sun 13-Oct-13 20:44:00

My post of 20:42, that is

AnyFucker Sun 13-Oct-13 20:43:08

Cross post. I take it back, neil.

AnyFucker Sun 13-Oct-13 20:42:16

It sounds like his wife is ok about it.

Where has "she isn't that bad about it" evolved into "she is bothered about someone at work" hmm

You are still dissing her, neil. Or not refuting others who are.

neiljames77 Sun 13-Oct-13 20:11:20

It's ok, comingalongnicely. She does want to know which one it is but I don't believe she'll go round and confront her or ring my works. I pointed out that if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't dream of embarrassing her like that.

comingalongnicely Sun 13-Oct-13 19:57:36

I think that he wanted to avoid what has now happened - his wife is now bothered about someone that he works with.


neiljames77 Sun 13-Oct-13 19:55:55

Wrong. It's not one or the other. I wanted to let the woman down at work without being rude or disrespectful and also didn't want to piss my wife off for no reason.
Also, if your partner was told by someone that the barman at the local has the hots for you and has been flirting, what are you going to say when he says, "why didn't you tell me?"

AnyFucker Sun 13-Oct-13 19:46:13

You sound like you have more regard for your co-workers feelings than you do your wife's. And have done all the way through this thread.

AnyFucker Sun 13-Oct-13 19:45:02

No, but if a barman flirted with me it wouldn't have the potential to stuff up my job. It would depend how far he went too. If he sneaked up behind me and made suggestive comments repeatedly I would have told him to fuck off myself. You didn't do that though, did you, with your "flirter". You felt inhibited because it happened in the workplace. Ergo, you should have told your wife, because something that could potentially affect your livelihood will affect her too.

Fairenuff Sun 13-Oct-13 19:42:55

Your wife might be pissed off with your co-worker but she isn't pissed off with you. She knows that you are honest with her and she knows that she can trust you.

What's the problem?

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