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if you were legally allowed one moment of cathartic madness what would you do to your ex P?

(58 Posts)
redundantandbitter Sun 06-Oct-13 09:17:02

Bit of fun. Go on, join in. Mine would be dead boring. Go round to
His house, trash the things I BOUGHT and leave all his sex toys on the front step of his terrace. Petty, and will never do it, but it's a distraction from all the other crap daily thoughts. What would you do? (I tried to NC to backslidemyarse but didn't work ).

Lazysuzanne Tue 08-Oct-13 01:44:46

no need, he already orchestrated his own downfall.
Dug his own grave
his misery surpasses anything that I could have wished on him
I think it's a shame

Albert27 Tue 08-Oct-13 01:02:15


Albert27 Tue 08-Oct-13 01:01:38

Ditto. The fact my ex will be lonely fit the rest of his life with only prostitutes for comfort is strangely comforting.

Cabrinha Tue 08-Oct-13 00:26:41

I have! I really have considered it, except that I'm rather enjoying the moral high ground, and that thing about the best revenge being living well!
But he slept with prostitutes and I had to get tested. Including for HIV which can potentially lead to a fatal condition, though I know that the treatment these days is far more effective than in the 80s.
So there is a certain satisfaction in imagining him experiencing some of my fear. Arsehole.

redundantandbitter Mon 07-Oct-13 23:21:27

cabrinha you've really thought that through, haven't you? shock

Cabrinha Mon 07-Oct-13 23:15:44

I have considered mocking up a letter from our local health centre saying that a sex worker has notified then that she is HIV positive, and his name is on the list of recent customers she has provided, asking him to attend for testing and counselling and strongly advising him not to have sex with anyone in the meantime.

LovesPeace Mon 07-Oct-13 22:15:55

I would be charming.

One of the last things he screamed scowling at me was 'You're such a fucking nice person!', when I said I wouldn't cause him or the skanks any trouble.

The thing was, he was wracked with guilt and trying to blame me, so being nice was like stabbing his self esteem.

Whatnext074 Mon 07-Oct-13 21:48:43

I understand the pleasuring bit and I don't have a problem with it personally but nylon/cotton mix? Surely you would use something a bit nicer and not leave them under the bed to stink the house out. It took me years to find out he did this and I hope his OW finds out his habit sooner and also has to wash his skid-mark pants - wipe your bum properly ffs! I'd post those to her as well - I found a pair in his drawer over the weekend - disgusting!

redundantandbitter Mon 07-Oct-13 21:28:05

whatnext074 the 'sock' thing must stem from crap student days no? But they do it in the work shower too. Nylon mix?Cashmere would be better methinks. A marketing idea in the making ?

NettleTea Mon 07-Oct-13 21:22:03

I would send him back to his home country and have his passport revoked, plus have him put on security watch to never be allowed in the UK again

BodaciousTatas Mon 07-Oct-13 21:15:40

DeckSwabber he was not interesting enough in bed to be into the other kind of watersports. He wanted me to get help nice because I suggested using a vibrator and a bit of bumming. blush

Snapespeare Mon 07-Oct-13 20:20:15

I wouldn't do anything. He's already done it all to himself. :-)

racmun Mon 07-Oct-13 20:19:15

I know for a fact he lies on his cv says he has Alevels and a degree but actually only 2 gcse's.
I would love to report him to his employer and watch the smug fucker lose his job.

It's very tempting....

Whatnext074 Mon 07-Oct-13 20:08:07

Why do men w*nk into a sock?! Why not do it in the shower or use something a bit more 'forgiving' than cotton/nylon mix?!

BitOutOfPractice Mon 07-Oct-13 18:46:43

Totheteeth (I think that's what you're called). The op found out really recently that the man she loves is a low down two timing shit and yet reckon starting a thread in mn is being too dramatic?! Really?!?! Get a grip!!!!

Lweji Mon 07-Oct-13 18:22:13

I'd thoroughly enjoy it if he tried to attack me anywhere near my self defence class mates, particularly a selected few.

On the other hand, I've already done it by having another relationship since leaving him, getting my way in court regarding DS (not revenge, though), and te fact that I live in a nice flat and him at his parent's grotty council home.

JohFlow Mon 07-Oct-13 13:30:54

I would deliver his head in a pretty box to his mother with a note saying 'He was dead before I met him anyway'

whathappenedlastnight Mon 07-Oct-13 12:51:55

I have put hair removal cream in leave in conditioner


slug Mon 07-Oct-13 11:10:49

I would tell each of his subsequent girlfriends in full and very explicit detail his EA methods.

Actually, totally unprompted by me, a very good friend of mine (who he is a bit scared of and who he also fancies) does exactly that. She is quite blunt about his shortcomings to any new woman who has the misfortune to grace his arm. I, on the other hand, live half way round the world from his so her actions can never be construed as the moaning of a bitter ex. grin

BitOutOfPractice Mon 07-Oct-13 09:57:32

I'd tell all of the ex's family and friends the real reasons why we split up. And the way he treated me.

Then I'd empty his bank account. I still have all the log in details. And there is a SERIOUS amount of cash in there.

BelleOfTheBorstal Mon 07-Oct-13 09:00:25

I would hammer a stake through his heart.

DeckSwabber Mon 07-Oct-13 08:13:00

BodaciousTatas I'm not sure he meant jet-skiing and sailing when he said he was into watersports... ?

redundantandbitter Mon 07-Oct-13 07:33:24

OMG totally forgot about the crusty wank socks and bald patch.. Yes got those two things here also ! Urgh

yegodsandlittlefishes Mon 07-Oct-13 00:39:25

I would tell my ex boyfriend that when I see his face I don't see his face at all because a massive enlargement of his cock is superimposed wherever his head is. The only reason I hugged him last time I saw him was so that I didn't have to look at it again.

On second, I don't think I would ever tell him that (even if he is a complete and utter dickhead).

Whatnext074 Mon 07-Oct-13 00:24:08

I'd post all the crusty socks that my H hid having 'pleasured himself into' while watching porn to his OW and tell her to wash them instead of them stinking my house out!

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