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Relationships

What does this mean ???

47 replies

Ohnoitsgonewrong · 05/10/2013 13:35

I've been seeing this guy but he seems to be a mass of confusion .
Every thing seemed to be going ok but suddenly he's said we're getting too close and I need some space .
How the heck can you be getting too close ?
I've left it completely and am getting on with my life but what in the hell does this mean ?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/10/2013 13:39

He thinks his style is being cramped, a 'relationship' is something grown-ups do, he's gone off you but is too cowardly to say it .... oh who the hell cares? :) You're doing the right thing. Give him ALL the space in the world and don't look back.

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Ohnoitsgonewrong · 05/10/2013 13:46

Thanks that's what I thought but it confused me slightly , I don't know why people just can't say what they mean .
I would of just said ok and moved on .
Oh well .... Next lol

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brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 14:12

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brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 14:25

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Ohnoitsgonewrong · 05/10/2013 16:00

Well I didn't know what to think , he said he felt he was getting attached to me ! Lol
I think it's bollocks and some guys are just emotionally retarded

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/10/2013 16:07

You've just reminded me of the asswipe one that said to me .... 'I'm worried that I'm starting to love you too much'.... Knobbers the lot of them. Grin

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Ohnoitsgonewrong · 05/10/2013 16:09

Haha well I'm after normal if indeed it exists .
My dad said to presume all guys are pricks then if you get one that's not its a nice suprise !!

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Ohnoitsgonewrong · 05/10/2013 18:18

Well I've just had a message saying he'd be upset to never see me again but for now he's got a lot going on such as he's started divorce .
I know it's upsetting as I'm going through it but do I just forget him still ?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/10/2013 18:22

Yes. Sorry. 'Just starting a divorce' can mean anything from 'happily married' to 'daggers drawn'. You really don't want to be in the middle of it.

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TheGrandPooBah · 05/10/2013 18:23

Yes. Let him miss you and want to be with you. If he does, he'll get in touch. No point in doing anything else.

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Missbopeep · 05/10/2013 18:29

He's being kind. Forget the words and focus on the actions. He's too consumed with other stuff- maybe a divorce, maybe not, and a plonker for drawing you in when he's not ready. Chin up and move on.

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brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 18:59

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MollyMollyMollyMolly · 05/10/2013 19:02

You need to do what your doing and leave him completely alone. Tell him that your completely happy to give him space as you feel the same.

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/10/2013 19:04

If he's married or attached he's not exactly available and thinks you'll think he's letting you down lightly.

Just watch out he doesn't contact you later about not being able to forget you... having laid the ground so to speak so you have zero expectations and he can always say I told you things were complicated and keep you dangling.

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brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 19:48

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farrowandbawl · 05/10/2013 20:08

You've posted about him before haven't you?

The advice was the same them as it is now - get rid, he's taking you for a ride.

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farrowandbawl · 05/10/2013 20:09

*then

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thenightsky · 05/10/2013 20:11

He's playing games and trying to manipulate you for fun.

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brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 22:49

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/10/2013 22:55

Because 'we're getting too close' is such a nonsense thing to say?

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brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 23:00

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Ohnoitsgonewrong · 06/10/2013 12:04

No I've not posted about him before , this is another one !! Haha god I don't half pick them

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brokenhearted55 · 06/10/2013 12:19

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farrowandbawl · 06/10/2013 12:32

Do you really want to know what I think?

I'm going to tell you.

Based on this thread and the others, I think you should give up on dating for a while..maybe even a couple of years. You are clearly attracting the wrong person and giving out the wrong messages. Concentrate on yourself and other areas of your life for a while.

If you keep doing this to yourself over and over again, you are not going to be helping your self esteem or confidence. Both are going to take a knock after each failed relationship, fling, date or whatever. Give yourself a break from it all for a while.

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HisLommel · 06/10/2013 13:53

My DF said this to me when we met last year. He'd just gone to his first mediation meeting for his divorce and we'd met the Saturday two weeks before and we'd spent the Sat/Sun together, then apart 3 days, then together 4 days, apart 3 and together for another one when he said it.

I'm glad he said it. He was being honest. I backed off, disappointed but knew that either he would come back or I would walk away knowing he wasn't the one.

Two days later he text to say he was nervous and he was missing me. We met up 3 days later and have been inseparable since.

Trust your gut. If it's right, you'll know, if it's not, let it go. Smile

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