Doomed from the start?

[ilovemylittlestars]

I have posted a few times, sorry it's along the same lines again:( I am just looking for other views really. If you are married would it occur to you to protect 'your' money? Ensure that if it goes wrong that the other person leaves with nothing. Do this behind their back so they don't have the opportunity to protect themselves also, should it go wrong? It sounds awful put like that but that's the bottom line

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Of course not. It's certainly not ethical and it's probably not legal. That bit in the service about 'all my worldly goods I thee endow' is a binding contract, not just pretty words.... Pre-nuptial agreements exist but, for them to be binding, everyone has to enter into them voluntarily and with legal advice. Putting existing assets in trust for existing children is something else people do but again, has to be up front. If you're married to someone who loves their money more than they love their family, I'm very sorry and suggest you consider if it's worth it.

[ilovemylittlestars]

It's not worth it, I am divorcing him and have discovered all this ontop of the reasons I want out

[EllaFitzgerald]

I'm afraid I haven't seen your other threads, but no, in a healthy relationship, it wouldn't occur to me. I think that if, during a marriage, a person is planning how to hide their money when it all goes wrong, then it doesn't bode well for the future of the marriage.

[ilovemylittlestars]

That's what I am finding hard:( I went in openly and trusted

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

It's not a failing to be open and trusting in a long-term relationship. It's a pity he's turned out to be the selfish, deceitful type but at least you're getting out rather than subjecting yourself to more of the same.

[ilovemylittlestars]

What I find so upsetting is that because of what he has done it is the children and I that are without a home now, is is there on his own cause that's how he planned it. A pre-nuptial agreement would have been preferable because then I would have known all along and it would have given me the opportunity to protect myself as he has done. I just don't understand why you would think this waythank you for replies

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

All you need to understand is 'selfish'. When someone is motivated purely by self and cares nothing for anyone else, including their children, then any dirty trick is acceptable as long as they are the winner at the end of the day. That kind of game-plan results in bitter old men complaining no-one ever visits them, dying alone and their bodies are found a month later... unmissed. Although if he did die, you and the DCs would actually do very well out of it! (Not suggesting you murder him just yet)

[ilovemylittlestars]

Thank you cogito,you have posted on a few of my threads and you advice is always helpful to me, I am slowly making a bit of sense in it all:)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

You may also find in your husband's case that he never saw you or the kids as a permanent fixture. He intended to return to bachelor status at some stage and planned accordingly.

[Fragglewump]

Is this legal? I thought marital assets were marital assets??? What an arsewipe he is!! But have trust op....he will get a karma slap.....it might be a long time coming......but come it will. My ex husband - separated 8 years ago - took 2 years to divorce because he couldn't stop lying about money- he's getting his karma slap now....and boy is it a big one!

[Walkacrossthesand]

If you are legally married the law requires assets to be fairly divided, and if the divorcing couple can't agree on this, a judge decides. Forensic accountants specialise in investigating the financial situation where it is suspected that one party is hiding assets. You are not powerless in this situation - have you sought legal advice?

[ilovemylittlestars]

It is looking like it will be decided by a judge. Waiting for karma