Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

When being dumped?

(16 Posts)
Leavenheath Mon 30-Sep-13 21:37:20

I see. It's really much better to just accept that someone wants to leave a relationship, not try to persuade them to give it more time. It's a bit unethical and unfair on someone who's probably dreaded the 'we must end it' speech. It's okay to say you're sad about it, but always best to say you appreciate their honesty and accept their right to make that decision.

brokenhearted55 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:18:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leavenheath Mon 30-Sep-13 21:05:08

Anyone with half a brain can see through the intensely childish 'Ok whatever' and if anything, it causes people to lose respect for a person. I'd say it was very teenager but that's probably doing my kids of that age a disservice. Even they can see through something like that.

It's better to be honest, but accepting of the other person's wishes. There's no point continuing to see someone in my view who was never a 'friend' in the first place and with whom you've got no common interests. It just prolongs the agony and the hope that they'll have a volte-face and want to try again.

Clean break. Move on. Always best.

brokenhearted55 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:53:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ofmiceandmen Mon 30-Sep-13 20:39:07

Ps - never go back. If someone can't realise your value in the first place then they don't deserve you.

ofmiceandmen Mon 30-Sep-13 20:37:29

That's where no contact is vital.
It's not how you break up, it's what you do afterwards.

They can't miss or realise what they have lost unless they don't have it anymore.
And it also means you get time to realise that you probably didn't need them in the first place.

Either way it's a win, win for you grin

ALittleStranger Mon 30-Sep-13 20:36:17

Yeah I don't agree with your friend.

The only time I can really see that approach working is if the reason for being dumped is you'd been a complete drama queen during the relationship and he suddenly saw your in a more mature light.

Or it's psychological game-playing, and as you say, that's not going to stick.

LividofLondon Mon 30-Sep-13 20:35:51

OP I understand what you're saying about if you fake disinterest and that subsequently sparks their interest again, then do you really want someone who plays these games. As you say, they should be interested, not because they think you don't want them either. I'm inclined to go with the dignified, "that's a shame because I don't want to split up, but I respect your decision" response to getting dumped.

brokenhearted55 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:31:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vivacia Mon 30-Sep-13 20:24:34

I'm struggling to understand what you're writing. Are you ok?

But I never thought that approach would work.

However, if I've understood you correctly here, how you react to the end of a relationship is not a ploy to getting the other person back.

brokenhearted55 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:17:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALittleStranger Mon 30-Sep-13 20:11:12

Honest but dignified, definitely.

adale63 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:05:35

be honest is my advice

cupcake78 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:03:53

Be honest if you want to be but remain dignified in front of them. It's perfectly reasonable to stick pins in the voodoo doll once your home smile

Hold your head high, shoulders back and don't look back.

ofmiceandmen Mon 30-Sep-13 20:00:10

Best to be honest about your feelings. but have your head held up and clear in thought. No begging, no pretence and no malice

and smile.

Then make a clean break. go No Contact and allow yourself time to grow beyond it.

brokenhearted55 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:55:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now