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(23 Posts)
Bethybabys Mon 30-Sep-13 12:56:22

Are you or have you been promiscous? Do you think it matters these days? There doesnt seem to be the stigma there was... there is a definate difference between sex for fun and emotional sex for me. So yes I am promiscous... your turn.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 30-Sep-13 13:02:06

That's one of those misogynistic words isn't it? She's promiscuous... he's a ladies' man. She's a slapper... he sows his wild oats. What matters is not hurting either other people or yourself. Beyond that it's all 'sex for fun' ... otherwise it's not very good sex.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 30-Sep-13 14:07:35

I don't like the word promiscuous.

FrigginRexManningDay Mon 30-Sep-13 14:16:52

What's your point? A lot of humans enjoy sex. Dolphins too actually.

Choos123 Mon 30-Sep-13 14:19:29

What matters is not hurting yourself or others, as long as you are being honest, then yeah, I think it's an irrelevant word.

Juliaparker25 Mon 30-Sep-13 19:09:27

I cant spell the word promisecuous

Bunbaker Mon 30-Sep-13 19:13:27

I have been married to the same man for over 32 years so, no I am not. I couldn't care less what other people do as long as there is no deception and no-one gets hurt.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 30-Sep-13 19:14:17

I had over 200 lovers. At least that's what XH's solicitor said. What a pity I can't remember any of them. I might have been having a good time for all I know.

Fairylea Mon 30-Sep-13 19:16:12

I don't like the word. It's so judgmental.

So therefore I guess I am in the "it doesn't matter" camp, despite the fact personally I have slept with very few people in comparison to others.

I really think as long as both people are single and contraception (condoms an essential) is used I really don't think it matters.

Johnny5needsinput Mon 30-Sep-13 19:17:59

What definition of promiscuous are you using?

ALittleStranger Mon 30-Sep-13 20:14:21

I can't even work out what you think promiscuous means.

Yes I like sex, including sex without an emotional connection. I'll happily have sex with someone I've just met if the mood strikes me although it doesn't strike me much. But I wouldn't describe myself as promiscuous, ever, it has a loaded meaning and it's not "person who enjoys sex".

unBant Tue 01-Oct-13 02:11:07

It means a person who has casual sex frequently with many different partners. I've had phases of it, and I'm dating at the moment so I'm in something of one of those phases at the moment, punctuated by long periods of monogamy.

One persons 'promiscuous' is another persons uptight though. Is this a different partner every week? Month? Day?

Notbroken Tue 01-Oct-13 07:08:45

I was in the past, so much so that I couldn't put a figure on it. I had a good time, was careful and nobody got hurt.

mrsSOAK Tue 01-Oct-13 11:42:45

I was in the past, I had loads of casual flings, one night stands, no strings sex etc etc I couldnt even begin to figure out how many partners, I wasn't always careful when it came to protection or the type of person I had sex with. This lead to all kinds of problems. I also cheated on my long term partners.
I was a mess.
I met my now DH, found out that I was no longer enjoying casual sex, so stopped and havent looked back.

If anything I would say that in more recent years there is a greater emphasis on staying safe and on respecting yourself.
Perhaps I am only seeing what I want to see.

LEMisdisappointed Tue 01-Oct-13 11:45:30

Annie grin

Capitaltrixie Tue 01-Oct-13 11:59:37

Oh Annie! grin
Don't like that word either. I like emotional sex, but have had (a fair bit of) the other; both kinds very enjoyable (well not always, but hey!).

It's very subjective. I would say I'm probably not..
Curious, why do you ask Bethy, are you worried about it?

Dahlen Tue 01-Oct-13 12:34:14

I've never understood the relationship between sex and morality. Just how exactly is a smaller number of people you sleep with likely to make you kinder to children, old ladies and animals or less likely to rob a bank? Why does having sex with lots of people mean you are more likely to punch someone in the face or steal the loose change out of a charity box?

Sex is just a biological urge that has evolved to be enjoyable precisely to make people do it more often so that the survival of the species is ensured. It just is. There is nothing good or bad about sex, so there can't be anything good or bad about the number of times you do it or the number of people you do it with.

Personally I prefer sex in a relationship because I am a bit uptight about sexual health and prefer to have thoroughly vetted someone's sexual health before allowing them near me. Casual sex poses more of a risk even when using a condom because not all STIs are prevented by condoms. But that's a risk assessment choice that has nothing to do with morality. It's where my own personal line in the sand is drawn regarding risk to my sexual health, the same way others draw lines in the sand regarding other areas of their health, such as diet, exercise, alcohol, etc.

CailinDana Tue 01-Oct-13 12:41:41

A guy I met a party said I was promiscuous because a male friend had his arm around me while we sat on the couch even though -shock horror! - I was engagaed to someone else at the time.

Anniegetyourgun Tue 01-Oct-13 13:33:25

You slag, CailinDana! I hope you used protection (long sleeves).

JaceyBee Tue 01-Oct-13 15:06:47

I guess I am what some people would call promiscuous. I haven't had a proper 'partner' in 2.5 years and during that time have had a lot of sex with several different fwb's, (although only one that could be considered a ONS and I'd known the guy years anyway.) I have around. 3-4 guys that I sleep with occasionally, I know them all well, they all know about each other and no-one is expected to be monogamous. At the moment I do not want a proper relationship but am not willing to go without sex, so this works well for me. I appreciate it's not a conventional approach to sex and relationships and would be for everyone but I am not at all ashamed of myself or my choices.

JaceyBee Tue 01-Oct-13 15:07:35

Would NOT be for everyone. Duh!

CailinDana Tue 01-Oct-13 15:19:09

I had three quarter length sleeves on Annie - risque, non?

Anniegetyourgun Tue 01-Oct-13 15:19:55


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