Myself and Dh have always had a volatile relationship. Both of us can be verbally abusive and it has crossed the line twice to shoving and pushing. We are both quite reactive and both quite sensitive so arguments can flare up out of nowhere and go from 0-60 in a very short time. We are together 15 years and married 8. We have 5 kids between us. We have a good homelife, both work, dont drink or smoke or have any outside influences that are impacting negatively on our marriage.
We had a row over 2 weeks ago. It was a big one. Dhs behavior escalated. I didnt feel safe. He has been staying with a friend for the last 2 weeks.
We cooled down and spoke a couple of days after. I told him my bottom line was that I didnt want us living together until he could promise me that he would walk away from an argument. We made up and have been spending time together, with kids, have had sex etc.. but he has not stayed the night in our home.
We have had 5 or 6 sessions of couples counselling but I do not see how things have changed in the relationship since. I feel he is not accepting responsibility for his temper and anger and that he is taking it out on me and not in proportion to what I deserve.
I thought we had agreed to him staying until he could manage his anger but last night he said he couldnt live that way. That he either moved back in or we split up.
THis is not what I want but I don't want to go back to the way things were and so what do I do?
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Relationships
What should I do now?
Neitheronethingortheother · 30/09/2013 11:49
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