Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do Electronic devices make affairs more likely or just mean more cheaters get found out?

(32 Posts)
ohtobemeagain Fri 27-Sep-13 18:07:02

I was having a ponder about affairs having suffered through DHs and from reading the Relationship board.

The advice on virtually all threads asking if it sounds like an affair, is to look at phones, tablets, emails etc.

In my situation, I already had some suspicions but it was a chance look at his mobile phone bill that made me confront him.

So do you think mobile phones etc are enabling more people to cheat, or do you think the same number are cheating, but more are getting caught because of the gadgets?

ohtobemeagain Sat 28-Sep-13 11:36:10

Thanks MadeMan - now I'm worrying about being filmed grin

My first red flag was precisely that - DH was glued to his phone on the other side of the room, as adept at texting as any teenage girl - and just as prolific. Prior to this " I can't be bothered with sending texts " confused

Tonandfeather I agree about your invicible point. I don't think DH wanted to be caught, in fact, I'm positive he didn't.

Meditrina - Baby Steps - exactly.

VodkaJelly Sat 28-Sep-13 12:33:29

I dont think technology encourages people to have affairs but it makes things a damn sight easier.

Before mobiles etc if your DH said he was at work you had no real way of checking, and unless somebody saw his car parked in a layby you were non the wiser.

Communication today encourages people to keep in touch, FB/Twitter/email/phones etc so having a laugh with somebody at work can be carried on at home and can start an EA. (dont apply to everyone of course)

But of course if somebody wants to cheat they will, regardless of technology. People will always find a way.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 13:34:08

Who was the person your ex was texting OP? Someone he met IRL or purely an online contact?

ohtobemeagain Sat 28-Sep-13 16:43:32

It was a colleague - spent all day with her, then texted all evening, weekends, first thing in the morning etc

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 28-Sep-13 17:51:48

As he met her via work, he'd have still met her. If there were no mobile phones he'd be making excuses to get out to use a payphone to talk to her, drive over and meet in secret or 'work late at the office'. My marriage broke up in 1994 when mobile phones were scarce and the size of house-bricks. I just got a bad feeling when he mentioned a particular woman in conversation a bit too often...

intheduskwiththelightbehindher Sun 29-Sep-13 07:06:28

Meditrina - baby steps - spot on! In 1984 I had an affair with a MM and we wrote letters (me to his work) to arrange our 'assignations' and express our feelings. It didn't last. He left his wife and is now on his third 'long term relationship' and won't commit to the latest one.

sixfootplus Mon 30-Sep-13 18:02:26


Those stats are just for marriages, so of course they are going to be lower!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now