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Am I being paranoid?

(31 Posts)
Orangeworkclock Sun 22-Sep-13 00:25:25

Have NC so df can't find this & I suspect I will out myself.
I just wanted people's opinion's. My df has recently had a job change, working evening's. The last week has left me with an awful uneasy feeling. He came back one night then discovered that he had forgotten to put away the key to lock up. So had it on him. He then spoke aloud his thought's ie; Shall I take it back now, will they need it before morning etc etc. He decided that it was ok to take it back 1st thing in morning( was past midnight) then got a call and he told me was dropping key off now as was needed.
Another night he got a text message at 2am. Told me was his db and his (df) phone must be receiving messages later then usual.
Tonight he has phoned me an hour after his finishing time to tell me they had a function that they had to clean up after. Function finished at 11pm as does his shift. He normally has a few things to do after finishing that take around 20mins. So he rang 40 minute's after that to tell me they were just about to start cleaning up. Says that will take about an hour & something about having couple of beers.
Reading these back, I actually feel a bit silly as they are all perfectly normal things to happen. Forgot key and return it? Normal. Phone receiving text's a good few hour's later? Normal. Cleaning up after function then having a well deserved beer with the team? Normal.
So why am I feeling 'not right'? I put the phone down when we finished our call & just got a heavy feeling in my stomach, almost like butterflies & had to fight tear's. So weird.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Sun 22-Sep-13 12:01:46

If you have no other reason to be suspicious, I don't agree that you should sneak a look at his phone. It's dishonest and a bit mad. The fact that you want to is a problem in itself.
Why don't you just talk to him?

Orangeworkclock Sun 22-Sep-13 12:20:25

Guybrush I didn't say I wanted to sneak a look at his phone, I just said I couldn't get hold of it as he had taken it out with him, and more to point out how he took it out. Only said that much about his phone because it was suggested.
I'm not sure I want to mention this to him until I know more. It would rock the boat- we are v.happy in general. This is why I posted first- to get an idea if I'm being silly or not.

AgentZigzag Sun 22-Sep-13 12:57:52

Coming back in for his phone isn't suspicious (if I've read that right), he could be called by someone from work or just want to have his phone on him like a lot of people.

How long has he been working in the new job?

RhondaJean Sun 22-Sep-13 13:03:11

Well you aren't that happy if you are posting this on here pet.

You do need to talk to him. I think the saving grace for me and DH a thousand times over is that I can say to him how I am feeling. I don't think you say "are you having an affair" as there isn't really IMO any evidence to suggest that; the conversation is that there is quite a change in things with the new job and shifts and you aren't finding it easy, how is he doing with it?

I felt better after we talked and I realise actually he didn't like the shifts very much either and would rather be home. I think there can be a wee bit of pressure too to have a drink after work in this type of employment and I know at first DH did it more often and over time he hardly bothers now.

The real eye opened for me I think was realising that my worries were not really based in anything that he was doing but in the way I was feeling about myself at that point in time.

I would very firmly say though that keeping this to yourself and saying nothing will make it fester and get worse. Talk to him.

Orangeworkclock Sun 22-Sep-13 22:13:17

Thank you for all the replies and different possibilities.
I have had a long hard think about it today and I do believe it is my self esteem. We have all been out for lunch, and df has been as lovely as ever. I did start up the conversation about how's work going etc.

Maybe, just maybe I am right and something is wrong, however I don't feel it when I am around him, only in evenings & only when these incidents ( or non incidents?) have happened.

I am really surprised at myself as I'm not normally this way. I think I have bigger self doubt then I thought sad

Thank you again to everyone who has posted and I am very sorry that you all took the time to, over something that prob is nothing.

Numberlock Mon 23-Sep-13 04:27:11

Df = dear fiancé yes?

When's the wedding?

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