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Husband on dating sites-how original

(193 Posts)
dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 09:57:37

Found out that h has been on dating sites such as 'shagoholic' 'gay partners' 'upforit' and he now classes himself as bisexual. This is not the first time. He was doing it before we married

i had it out with him and apparently its all my fault because i didnt love him enough. Im a fucking bitch and he is done with me? er i threw u out matey

he is staying at his mums and i feel lost, cheated and marriage was a fraud

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 10:00:37

we have a child together. He even wrote a nice intro 'you look damn fine from behind' and that he may have to try out a lot of lovely ladies before finding the one who lights his fire

FetchezLaVache Wed 18-Sep-13 10:11:14

he may have to try out a lot of lovely ladies before finding the one who lights his fire

Snort!! What a tosser. I imagine they're all forming an orderly queue as we speak. Who wouldn't want a piece of that charm?

Seriously though, so sorry this has happened, but glad you rumbled him and that you chucked him out. Are you OK? Have you had STI tests?

Ezio Wed 18-Sep-13 10:13:11

Vom, he must have a dick a foot long and made of gold.

Definitely get STI tests.

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 10:14:20

Hi i forgot to say i NC for this.

Its funny I have been having water infections. i will call the dr today now its sinking in.

He wants sex outside oh maybe a group too and he put the postcode from his works

he says he never done anything he just signed up. its like he is tryin to manipulate my mind

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 10:15:46

I keep looking at his words. Discreet relationships, open minded to a fault, loves saucy chat and emails

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 10:59:22

does anyone know how long it takes for tax credits to kick in. im barely functioning here. im at work cos i dont get sick

alphacourse Wed 18-Sep-13 11:08:40

9 weeks for tax credits at the moment......9 long weeks :-(

Sorry you are going through this too xx

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 11:11:15

why so long? i cant wait over two months

feel sick

I have no savings and only work part time.

Why do they do it. why do they think its fun

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 11:13:36

I dont know your story Alpha. I will look xx

i just feel sick, betrayed, and that the past 11 years was a joke

Catwoman12 Wed 18-Sep-13 11:15:19

I you have called tax credits to make a claim it usually only takes about two weeks and it gets back-dated from when you first claimed, so if you can borrow money until it arrives you know you can pay it back...

Sorry to hear what your going through what a shit headconfused how long were you together/married?

Catwoman12 Wed 18-Sep-13 11:16:34

Also call CSA for maintanence asap as it can take a while for them to get payments sorted, you get on average 20% of his earnings PCM x

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 11:23:05

I just cant believe it. I have gone from angry to bereft. this is why i on here. he was soo nasty in the texts.

Wedding was worst day of his life
Im cold and heartless
He looked cos i wasnt giving him enough sex - i have had a water infection
i cant even remember what else as i deleted his conversations and his number

alphacourse Wed 18-Sep-13 12:36:48

He is deflecting - his first line of defense is attack by the sounds of it. Far easier for him to blame YOU rather than face himself and what he has done. I got my tax credits through today. I applied on 16th July. That means they took 8 weeks to process. Get your 25% off council tax sorted. Reclaim child benefit if you had to stop before due to income. That took 7 weeks to come through for me. Feel free to PM me - I am a couple of months down the line from you. My original thread has gone as it went to the secret place, but my updated one is still there. (((Hugs)))

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 12:50:01

Hi Alpha

I have been reading your thread . Keeps my mind off work all this

I just dont get it. Its like i have to be everything to everyone. It hurts but it hurts more that i gave him chance after chance and this happens again.

He reckons he was looking for love whilst i was looking after kids, school runs, work, meetings etc .

Love on shagoholic. apparently he only ticked some boxes. like its ok.

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 12:53:07

apparently i never loved him.
that he was convenient for me??
im a fucking bitch
cold heartless bitch who wont answer the phone

Ezio Wed 18-Sep-13 13:05:24

Ignore it, hes just saying those things to get a reaction from you.

When he says, "You never loved me"

He wants you to say, "I do love you so much, please lets try again"

cantthinkofagoodone Wed 18-Sep-13 13:07:52

Can you take a mortgage holiday? Hopefully he'll pay the bills until you've sorted yourself out a bit.

cantthinkofagoodone Wed 18-Sep-13 13:09:02

Sorry - forgot to add, I agree with your name, he is a wanker. Do try to ignore anything mean that he says now because he is trying to be hurtful. He's probably annoyed that he's been caught out.

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 13:09:11

I do love him but i hate who 'this' is. I need to love me cos no one is doing that. i have no close family
its so hard
i delete his text and his number and i cant bring myself to speak to him

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 13:10:27

im one of the lucky ones cantthinkofagoodone Im still a council house tenant and it still in my name. I must of known

dhisawanker Wed 18-Sep-13 13:11:35

its our sons birthday on Saturday and his mum paid for us to go to restaurant. i cant go i feel sick

wheredidiputit Wed 18-Sep-13 13:24:47

Go somewhere on Saturday with your DS then. Explain to his mum why you will not be going on saturday. Do not cover or lie for him.

alphacourse Wed 18-Sep-13 13:27:07

* 'shagoholic' 'gay partners' 'upforit' * aren't sites usually associated with "looking for love". They are sites for people looking for no-strings sex. How much do you know/can you access? How much is he admitting to? Great news about the house!

alphacourse Wed 18-Sep-13 13:27:40

bold fail

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