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Husband grumpy with me.

(59 Posts)
KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 15:39:45

Last night we were going to the cinema, I got changed but didn't make a special effort as to me it was just a film & not a big night out, iyswim.
H got in a massive strop 'cause I'd apparently spent 1hr 45mins the night before to go to a work meeting with my work colleagues.
Now he's right, I did take that long - because I washed my hair (needed doing) & so last night when I was going out with him, it didn't need doing.

He says I didn't want to go out with him (we rarely go out, something I'm trying to remedy), by the way I made such little effort!

Is he crazy or what?

Jux Sat 14-Sep-13 19:39:05

Well, at some point he'll be being very stubborn on his own I hope.

MariaLuna Sat 14-Sep-13 19:38:51

So you say he's got a high IQ.

Doesn't sound like he has much EQ though...

He controls your time getting ready to go out (and finds you wanting) and ewwww, wears his crummy underwear for a whole week.

Both of those would be enough for me to LTB.

Oh, and don't fuss what other people think. Most are too wrapped up in their own stuff anyway.

Don't sacrifice your happiness on what the rest of the world might think.
Life's too short.

KiteSurfer Sat 14-Sep-13 18:34:55

Bleurgghh Hawkmoth!

No wonder I won't share bodyparts with him! Just can't get through to him what a turnoff it is. He's not dim, just very, very stubborn.

Hawkmoth Sat 14-Sep-13 11:58:36

But... What about poo crumbs???

KiteSurfer Sat 14-Sep-13 11:50:59

janajos - does he really?

I've never known anyone do this; I know of people who wear same stuff for days on end and not bathe/shower (yuk!) but they always put clean ones on after a shower.

It is odd behaviour, I think.

janajos Sat 14-Sep-13 10:41:19

'Who on earth wears the same pair of socks & undies all week but has a shower every day??'

My DH! I always tell him I will know when he is having an affair, because the underwear will be changed more regularly!

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 14-Sep-13 08:06:27

Don't stay together out of pride for goodness sake. There are not prizes awarded for martyring yourself in such a manner and the three factors you cited for staying are not good enough.

Your children won't thank you either for a) staying with him and b) both of you showing them a completely messed up version of how a relationship works, or in this case doesn't. Is this really what you want to teach them about relationships?.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 07:58:46

Oh leave him. Seriously you're both miserable, neither of you love each other and you're both resentful and bitter.

The children will be fine, pride is a fucking stupid reason to waste your life and money schmoney.

Offred Sat 14-Sep-13 07:30:28

Agree with allthreeways I am in the process of leaving a husband I don't love. You very quickly see the light at the end of the tunnel when you look into things.

AllThreeWays Sat 14-Sep-13 00:15:13

Your happiness is more important that peoples opinions. The children will blossom when you are happy. Finances sort themselves out in the end. Please don't stay for prides sake.

KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 23:44:48

Kids, finances & admitting to people it's failed

Jux Fri 13-Sep-13 22:57:00

You don't love him. Leave him. You'll both be happier. Why waste your life?

redcaryellowcar Fri 13-Sep-13 21:51:53

My dh would say out but partly in jest, I tell him to take me somewhere fancier if he wants me to make an effort! Yanbu.

Offred Fri 13-Sep-13 21:43:16


KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 21:36:57

Np Imperial, I don't.

ImperialBlether Fri 13-Sep-13 21:17:20

I wouldn't be having sex with the dirty bastard any day of the week! How intelligent do you have to be to know that if you put dirty underwear on after a shower you might as well not have had a shower?

He doesn't sound too nice to me. Paranoid, talks to himself, dirty underwear, bad attitude. Do you love him?

KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 20:53:46

I just let him get on with it but I find it hard to have sex with someone with such odd habits and so we don't have sex much, which is another thing for him to whinge about!

Gruntfuttock Fri 13-Sep-13 20:48:20

Sorry, but "he's got loads of clean pants and socks but refuses to wear clean ones after his daily shower" is beyond weird or eccentric, it's bloody insane? Isn't it?

Refuses to wear clean ones

I don't get that. I suppose you let the subject drop. I don't think I could or would.

KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 20:36:49

Sorry, had to go out.

He just says they're clean Gruntfuttock. He's got loads of pants & socks, just refuses to wear clean ones after his daily shower.

SnookyPooky Fri 13-Sep-13 19:13:49

My husband has done this in the past, I ignore.

Gruntfuttock Fri 13-Sep-13 17:34:42

Have you never asked him about the dirty underwear thing? I mean he's your husband, not a stranger, so you have surely spoken about the issue. What does he say?

KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 17:15:31

I should add he's immensely intelligent - scarily so. V. high IQ.

KiteSurfer Fri 13-Sep-13 17:13:52

Is that some kind of MH issue - putting dirty u/wear back on after a shower?
He talks to himself 'silently' quite a lot. I watch him having conversations with himself hmm no words, but his lips are moving and his head is tilting like when you are in conversation.

Jux Fri 13-Sep-13 17:13:50

So, he's dirty, entitled and unreasonable. Anything good about him? Why is he there?

Gruntfuttock Fri 13-Sep-13 17:08:36

I can't fathom why someone wouldn't put on clean underwear after a shower. It doesn't make an sense and would certain be a massive turn-off as far as I'm concerned. How dare he expect you to make a big effort before going out to the cinema with him when he doesn't even maintain the most basic personal hygiene? That's vile and something I would find totally unacceptable.

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