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Best friend's new partner says he can't cope with her being nice to him!

(12 Posts)
winniemum Fri 13-Sep-13 13:35:52

Just that really. My best friend has already had one marriage split because of EA and now she has a new partner who I'm not too sure of.
Chatting to him the other night, he told me everyone in his life had been horrible to him, his XW, teachers , parents etc and then said my BF was too nice to him and he found it hard to cope with!
I think this is strange. I really don't want her ending up in another difficult relationship as she is such a lovely person.
Not sure what to make of it really. Do you think it's a red flag?

bundaberg Fri 13-Sep-13 13:42:29

i wouldn't necessarily think of it as a red flag. sometimes when you've had a crappy life it IS weird when you meet someone who actually likes you and treats you nicely.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 13-Sep-13 14:08:32

'Red flag'.... hmm. At best, he's had a seriously long run of bad luck and mistreatment. At worst he is someone who portrays himself as a victim and thinks nothing of pulling out his 'poor me' card as an attention-seeking ploy. What your friend has to watch out for is that she is not suckered into being cast as this man's rescuer. That way misery lies....

bundaberg Fri 13-Sep-13 14:20:30

he might just have said it tongue-in-cheek.... unless you have other reasons why you are unsure of him?

winniemum Fri 13-Sep-13 17:15:10

Thanks for the replies. He seemed quite serious when he said it. I am unsure of him for lots of little reasons, but also she's sold her house to live with him ad is handing over 10's of thousands of pounds to him at a time for various 'projects'. She trusts him totally. I don't!

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 13-Sep-13 17:36:15

The point when nice women start handing over large amounts of money to men they've not known very long - especially ones who have their sob story down pat - is when, I'm afraid, my 'run like fuck' reflexes spring into action.

I really hope all our fears are unfounded but it would be such a clichee if, a few months from now, she's out on her ear several thousand pounds poorer and he's chatting to his next victim's best mate and telling her 'nobody has ever been nice to me but your friend is so kind....'

bundaberg Fri 13-Sep-13 18:03:14

Urgh. Yes the money thing would concern me too. Hopefully he turns out to be a great guy despite appearances

Walkacrossthesand Fri 13-Sep-13 19:50:23

<offers up thanks to dear late DF & DM for installing in me such money-consciousness that there is No Way on Earth any bloke would get £1k, never mind £10's of k, out of me....>

tallwivglasses Fri 13-Sep-13 20:29:57

various 'projects'?

Tell her to see a solicitor to make this all above board and there needs to be a paper trail.

What kind of projects? hmm

winniemum Sat 14-Sep-13 19:05:45

Thanks everyone. Extending his house for starters. Her name not on deeds!!!!! She trusts him! OMG. It's so difficult for me to say anything to her as she is so happy. She's waited years to find a new partner.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 14-Sep-13 20:55:13

It's relatively easy to buy a new partner... 'A fool and her money are soon parted'. Invest yours in shoulder-shaped Kleenex, perhaps.

Walkacrossthesand Sat 14-Sep-13 20:57:47

Cog, that's exactly what my dear old dad used to say! (With 'his' instead of 'her' money...)

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